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Babies on the Brain
robinsokj
member
This might sound insensitive (m/c mentioned)
robinsokj
member
I don't understand why people go to the ER when they bleed in 1st tri, or why it is suggested by so many.
If it is a m/c there is nothing that paying that ER bill will do. I had a m/c on a Sat, and the last thing I thought of doing was going to the ER. I waited until I could go see the doc that next week.
If there is something I'm totally overlooking, please fill me in.
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Re: This might sound insensitive (m/c mentioned)
It can be incredibly dangerous to NOT be seen by a physician. Unknown clotting disorders, retained products of conception (I hate that phrase, but it's the medical terminology for when not all of the fetus passes like it should), and a whole host of other things can go very wrong in an instant and can cause severe consequences.
Also, it could be an ectopic or molar pregnancy, and those should be terminated ASAP so as to not cause tubal rupture or a laundry list of other severe complications.
Just because someone's "so early" does not mean they are without risk of complication during a m/c.
Although, you're right, the last place a miscarrying woman should have to go is an ER-- there needs to be a more compassionate place/way to help in these situations.
Wait. Confused. Had, as in, the past?
I think people just panic and want something to be done. I think, overall, they are hoping the ER will tell them they aren't miscarrying, or will give them some magic thing that will stop the loss. I also think they are so emotionally jacked up they just can't stand the thought of waiting to know what's going on. There is also the general lack of understanding about how miscarriages work - I think people think they can know in that instant what's happening, even though that's not generally the case (if it's very early, all they are going to do is run an HCG level for your own OB to compare to. An u/s is going to be inconclusive, unless you were far enough along to have seen a HB prior).
I'm not saying any of that is logical or even the right thing to do, I just think that's why it happens.
ETA: Actually, I have to take that back. I did go to the ER at nine weeks with this pregnancy for bleeding, my OB insisted. I've blocked that totally. I had just been released from the RE and started spotting and my doctor wanted me to go to the ER for an u/s. He had called ahead and they were waiting for me, we went right to u/s (this was a Sat. as well.).
Yes, I had a m/c before getting pregnant with the twins.
Because they want to know why they are bleeding. Some people have bleeding and still end up with a healthy pregnancy. Some people are scared. Some people want to know without a doubt what is happening to them. I never expected them to do anything for me but when I had my first m/c I went to the hospital right away. I was hyperventilating and beyond worried when I saw red blood, I wanted an answer.
FET: Success! Beta at 14dp5dt: 2427 TWINS!!
Oh okay. I read that wrong, as in, I had a mc on Saturday (yesterday).
Ditto Lib and Dee. Because they're terrified and they want to know what's going on. I'm sure some of them do think the pregnancy can be "saved," but most of them probably just want an answer, and to be somewhere where they can be treated quickly if there are complications.
And it is insensitive.
I agree completely.
I know there are situations that turn into emergencies and should be seen promptly, the # of perfectly normal pregnancies, or even "normal" m/c's grossly outweigh them.
There are the standard warning signs (heavy bleeding, odor, fever, extremely painful cramping, etc) and I totally agree that those need to be seen asap, it seems like anytime someone spots a little or cramps a little, they are sent by first tri to the ER. It seems like most of those ER cases are inconclusive because it's too early, they just do a blood draw or the ER doc just tells them things look fine and to see their doctors the next day.
Eta: When I was m/c'ing, the last place I wanted to be was in the ER.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I probably wouldn't have thought to go to the ER on my own, but my doctor mentioned in 100 times. Part of that is because they suspected ectopic for several weeks, so if I started bleeding OR cramping or both, to go to the ER immediately. Even after they saw a sac in my uterus, she worried the placement could have been right at the end of my tube (she gave me the name of the exact place but I can't remember) so she again advised of going to the ER if something happened before our next appointment.
I would personally call the on call doctor first and see what they advised. But I certainly don't fault anyone for wanting to get some answers and STAT.
Firstmost, I wanted to know if it was indeed a m/c (it wasn't, so that saved me half a weekend of thinking it was over).
Also, if it was over, I did not want to pass a 10 week pregnancy without any pain meds...I see no reason to deal with more pain than necessary.
Finally....the biggest reason is I would want testing done on the placenta and the baby to find out answers if possible...passing it at home can make this very difficult, particularly without a home collection kit.
ETA: I was evaluated in L&D triage, not the ER.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I went for both of mine.
With my first I thought I was hemorrhaging, the bleeding and pain was so bad. They put me on fluids for a few hours and monitored the amount of bleeding. It was scary.
The second one wasn't quite as bad but still a scary situation.
ETA - The second time was more of an "I need to know what's going on because I need to mentally prepare myself if this is happening again." Then after that ER visit and 2 beta draws they thought it might be ectopic. I ended up at the ER twice for that pregnancy. The first time was when I started spotting red. The second was because my doctor told me to go in for any other bleeding because they wanted to monitor me as quickly as possible for ectopic instead of having me wait several days for a regular appointment and u/s in their office.
I think (in general) there's a difference between heavy bleeding and cramping - I would go to the ER for that, and spotting - especially if it's only just started.
It confuses me when people suggest going to the ER for a bit of spotting to be honest. I had spotting early on in first tri (and it continued almost the whole of first tri) last time, and I called the doc and she scheduled an earlier u/s for me.
They said at one point that I could go to the ER if it got bad enough, but it wasn't really necessary. But I wasn't having super heavy bleeding or cramping or any other worrisome symptoms. I think that would warrant a trip - because as others have said, something serious could be going on that needs to be immediately addressed.
ETA: I would imagine, though, that if I had a history of m/c I would be more inclined to be seen in an ER for spotting/bleeding if that was all that was available.
The first time I went to the ER because I was just out of college and newly married and didn't have a doctor yet but wanted some kind of answers. The second time, I called the doc about the bleeding and was sent in for betas.
I think every situation is different.
this for me. I knew uf I wa loosing her, they couldn't help, but I needed to kniw
I don't think its terrible to go to the ER if you're nervous. I think it's better to be safe then sorry, even if the pregnancy can't be saved. Id hate to sit around and wonder WTF is going on when there are people that can try and give me an answer.
Yep, that's why I went when I was pg with K.
Also, when I called my doc and told them I was bleeding, they TOLD me to go to the ER.
First thing I did Friday when I started bleeding heavily was call the OB. They had me come to their office but if that had told me to go to the ER I would have. I spot during pregnancy so that doesn't phase me too much but this was heavy, with clots. I panicked. Luckily everything is ok and the bleeding is slowing. Bleeding during pregnancy is not normal, when your health is not normal you seek medical help. Plain and simple
Sorry I sounded so stupid everyone.
When it happened to me I just thought, well, if it's going to happen, it will happen so there is no use rushing in right now. I didn't even think about other complications that there could have been other than a m/c.
so, it's great that you could be laid back enough about it. Fabulous for you. But not everyone can be that way. At the very least, an ER might be able to give you an U/S and maybe give you some reassurance or confirmation of what is going on.
I went because I was terrified, scared, and the thought of waiting 2 whole days to see a DR was not something I could mentally handle.
I went when I couldn't hold my nephew. My whole body got so weak from losing so much blood I had a hard time standing or walking. Thank God I went, I would have been at home alone. While I was at the hospital I passed out 2 different times. I probably would have passed out and konked my head if I would have been alone.
I knew what was going on but I had to have a confirmation. The ER really wasn't that bad. The doctors and nurses were amazing and supportive. One of my nurses cried with me while I waited for DH to get there from work.
With Anna's pregnancy I had lots of spotting and bleeding episodes but luckily they were all during the week and my Dr could get me in right away.
Robin, I love you, I really do. But I think that there should be a more sincere apology here. I would understand your question if you were talking about light and sparse spotting, but to ask a question about bleeding like this...I just think it was in poor taste.
I don't know that it ever occurred to me to go to the ER.
I just called the dr.'s office and if they were there they'd have me come in and if they weren't they called in a script for pain meds usually and told me to keep an eye on pain level and amount of blood.
There's nothing an ER was going to do to help.
"It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
"Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
I agree. I also think the worst thing to hear when you miscarry is the whole "it's gonna happen so you might as well just accept it" - which is what I feel like you're insinuating with this post.
Again, great that you could look at it that way. But not everyone can.
::sigh:: I've debated whether to respond but since when do I keep my mouth shut?
Whether you intended to be insensitive or not, I did find this a little offensive. I didn't go to the ER. I never bled until they detected the M/C and gave me the pills. I went home to suffer and ended up hemoragging. I had to be rushed to the ER for an emergency D&C.
It was very traumatic. I was blindsided by my M/C because there was never any bleeding but I can imagine that if I had started bleeding I would have been scared and needed answers and/or reassurance. A hospital bill is the last thing I would have had on my mind. My baby and my own health would be priority.
That's why I have insurance to cover me when I need it to so I can focus on me and not worry about how I'm going to pay for my health. Not everyone rushes to the ER at the first sign of blood but there are so many things that can happen, its perfectly reasonable to do so..especially when its not just your life but that of your already loved baby. Its very emotional on top of being physical.
So while it may have just been a passing thought, that you hadn't fully though through, it is frustrating for those of us who have had to deal with this for it to be worded the way it was and to be passed off as "being stupid." This brings all those memories and emotions back to the surface and it makes me sad and angry that it was just a nonchalant turn of phrase for you because for some, the experience is so much more than that.
I can't speak for her, only as what I took the op as. I really didn't read it as a great mockery of anyone's personal m/c experiences or fears. I read it as a honest question. She personally wouldn't go to the er at the first sign of spotting and wondered why someone would.
I think, for obvious reasons, this is a sensitive subject, hence the subject. She's not the only one that wouldn't or didn't rush in, there have been plenty that would or have.
Maybe I'm missing something more here, but it seems to me like it was a honest question that sparked honest and interesting conversation. She obviously realized she hurt some people so she apologized for sounding stupid (in her words).
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I don't even know why I open these posts anymore because they usually just piss me off.
It always ends up as the "we loved our babies and were concerned for our health and how dare you be so insensitive" vs. the "what's going to happen is going to happen" crowd.
And really did the people in the second category love their babies less? I hardly think so. Were we less concerned for our health? Again no.
Ridiculous.
"It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
"Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
I don't think pulling stories of why its good to go to the ER or explaining the emotional aspects of why people DO go suggests that people who don't didn't love their babies though I see what you are saying about one side versus the other.
In this particular thread, I agree with Balls that it has sparked good debate/conversation which is what Robin wanted or intended (I think). She wanted to know why someone would go. I wouldn't have blinked at it so much if it had been "why do they run to the ER at the first sign of spotting, there's nothing they can do" but it was "I don't understand why people go to the ER when they bleed in 1st tri, or why it is suggested by so many.'
For me personally, that is such a wide range of time with so many possibilities of scenarios (heavy bleeding vs. spotting, early vs late and so forth) that I think personal references would help her to see the other side of the coin. I did want to point out that to me at least it was a little offensive in the generalization of the wording but we are all flavored by our experiences and you are right, that is always going to be the case with many sensitive topics and that in and of itself can be very frustrating too.
Honest questions can still be asked in poor taste. I dont think she is mocking anyone. I just think the apology sounded flippant.
Honestly, with my first m'c I panicked. I didnt have a doctor, no one would see me until 8 weeks and I wasn't even 7. I didn't even have a place to call (they wouldn't even let me schedule an apt until I was 7 weeks, for my 8th week).
So, at 6w 4d, I saw blood, lots of it, and panicked. We went in.
This last time that I had bleeding we called the on-call nurse at our OB and at the hospital (which is just down the road) and everyone said to go in, so we did.(at 3am on a saturday) I mean, if a doctor says "go in" then I'm going to. And I'm glad I did. We got answers. We know our baby's ok. That's worth a lot.
I personally don't think she had anything to apologize for.
What she said was true- there isn't anything an ER is going to do for a m/c. Granted if it is truly an emergency- ridiculously heavy bleeding, pain- yes please go to the emergency room but for spotting, bleeding there's nothing they can do.
The post was wondering why it is done and suggested by so many people. It didn't say "I think anyone who goes to the ER is a colossal idiot." If you look at first tri, the response to almost every single "I'm spotting, I'm worried, I can't shiit" post is go to the ER, get an ultrasound, demand betas.
"It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
"Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
but that's not what the OP said. She didn't say for a m/c - she said she didn't understand why people go to the ER for any bleeding during 1st Tri.
I know plenty of people who have had spotting/bleeding during 1st Tri and have gone to the ER, had an ultrasound, and got some peace of mind - instead of waiting days for their OB to give them one.
So yes, an ER can do something for you if you are spotting or bleeding. If it turns out to be a m/c, than you're right - nothing they can do.
But isn't it also fair to say that there is also an increasingly high number of people who stress just as much/more with the trip to the ER. Heck, even with a trip to the OB? They see a sack and no fetal pole. They see a fetal pole and no h/b. They get a beta # and spend time worrying about if it's high enough. They get a second draw and spend time worrying about the doubling.
Personally, unless it was an obvious emergent situation, I'd rather wait until the next morning and go to a place specializing in ob/gyn issues, go to a dr familiar with my medical history, etc vs spending the time (and yes, the money) going to an ER where I'm not likely to get any more concrete of an answer.
Maybe it's just me, but when I read the OP, I took it as questioning why people with non-emergent bleeding/spotting go to the ER, which is something I've often questioned myself.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I had bleeding in first tri when I was 12 weeks pregnant with DS. I went to the ER for all the reasons mentioned in other posts. I was scared shitless. I wanted to know for sure if it was a miscarriage. Not to mention my OB office wasn't open yet for the day and waiting two or three hours to call was not physically or mentally possible for me. I was a freaking sobbing mess. DH practically had to carry me to the car I in such a state. Mind you, the bleeding I had was not spotting. It was heavier than any period I had ever had in my life.
At the ER, the first words out of the triage nurse's mouth were "you know we can't do anything if you're losing the baby, right?" I knew there wasn't. I knew that the whole time. But I wanted help and a diagnosis nfrom someone with medical know how. Whether that meant telling me I was losing the baby or it was some freak occurance, I wanted to know.
I was very lucky to find out after a quick ultrasound and bloodwork that I was NOT having a miscarriage, but had a subchorionic hemorrage that had burst, hence the intense bleeding. I was put on bedrest immediately.
So, as others said, there are many reasons why people would go in to the ER.
Perhaps this horse is dead, but here's my two cents.
People respond to crisis differently. People respond to fear differently.
If one has not been in such a position, one cannot judge another's response.
If one has been in such a position, one should not judge another's response.
Ditto this. That was my interpretation of the OP as well, and as I said in my response I've often wondered the same thing. When I had bleeding last pg, I got an earlier u/s the next day (not in the ER, set up by my OB) and really, I almost would have rather not in retrospect. It didn't give us answers - it was much as balls wrote above - we saw no fetal pole, no hb, and had to wait in limbo for another couple weeks.