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August 2011 Moms
s/o bikinis
So I was reading the bikini post and it was very interesting to me. I live in Italy and have been so amazed at how all of these women and men seem so comfortable with their bodies. Last summer, we were at the beach and every single woman was wearing a bikini - young, old, wrinkly, perfect tanned skin, a bit of cellulite, some serious flab - it just didn't matter. And the best part? NOBODY cared. These women were comfortable in their own skin and they were at the beach for a day in the sun and they just weren't concerned with what anybody else thought of them. It was amazing to me. I don't recall seeing a single one-piece suit. They all wore bikinis because, well, that's what you wear to the beach. It doesn't matter if you have the "perfect" body type.
In the States we spend the last 5 months of winter preparing for bathing suit season and worrying about whether our bodies will be perfect enough this year. And we judge each other too. We think in our heads, "man, she has no business wearing that!" And we laugh at the photos in the gossip magazines of the celebrities with the "worst beach bodies" and we long to be like the celebrities with the "best beach bodies" all the while mourning the fact that we have to protect our daughters from a culture that is too wrapped up in physical appearances and physical "perfection" when we ourselves are contributing to the stereotypes. But what is physical perfection? What is it really? It is completely cultural and even personal! My husband thinks I'm totally sexy - even with the tummy that didn't go back to flat after my first pregnancy and the boobs that were completely deflated after breastfeeding and the stretchmarks that covered my rear. I'm sexy to him, I'm his cup of tea. You're somebody else's cup of tea - flaws and all. And that's the point - it takes all sorts of REAL women to please all sorts of real men.
I urge us all to take a lesson from the Italians - you're gorgeous the way you are. They love their food here and the adore their wine, and if it means they have a few extra pounds on their thighs come beach season, well then so be it. They're going to enjoy life and not fret about every single calorie, because really - how can you worry about the calories when penne arabbiata is on the menu? So here's my opinion. If you want to wear that bikini while 7 or 8 months pregnant, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks or if you're stretch mark free or if your thighs got a little rounder thanks to the baby weight. It is your body and you only get one of them and it is in the business of working a miracle. I say wear the bathing suit you want whether that be a one piece, a bikini or a tankini and rock it mama!
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Re: s/o bikinis
Amen! Thank you!
Pregnancy # 6
4 missed chances
2 loving children
1 on the way
Totally agree! I think we are so 'body-conscious' in general in America as compared to Europe. We grow up with obsessions about our bodies that just isn't found to that degree in Europe. And, yes, it's good to worry about your health and take care of yourself, but there are things that are unavoidable with age and time.
Thank you for the post!
We've only lived here for just under a year. And the first time I went to the beach it really blew me away to see all the bikinis. There was just no shame or self-consciousness. The women all wore bikinis because that is just what you do here. To them I think it is like wearing jeans - it is the clothing of choice on a casual afternoon, no other thought needs to be put into it. Even the grandmothers! And I thought, wow, these women sure are confident. It really challenged my own American way of thinking when it comes to "bathing suit season" and "bathing suit shopping" and the like. We make it such an excruciating process in America. If you prefer a choice like a one piece or tankini because of modesty, that is one thing. I would never suggest that anybody dress less modestly than they are comfortable with, especially because I know many religions and cultures put a priority on certain parts of the body (whether it be boobs or ankles) being covered. But to put yourself or somebody else down in your mind because your or their body type isn't perfect is a completely different thing altogether. I think living here has just been really healthy for my own self-image. I'm definitely relearning the definition of beautiful - and Hollywood and supermodels just don't have the monopoly on it.
I agree. I want to share a story of my own as well regarding something similar.
Every year, DH and I attend at least 2 renaissance festivals, one in OH and in KY. The one in KY runs June and July. Last year I went and I wore a cropped chemise (here is a pic if you want to see: https://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs078.snc4/35248_751917379595_21421727_41145835_4203582_n.jpg) because it was so hot that day.
I am not thin by any means. I have meat on me, but I have curves too. I admit that I was a little self-conscious at the start of the day. I mentioned it to some acquaintances there and the told me "You are absolutely beautiful. You have no need to worry". That helped and the rest of the day I was confident. The people in the renfaire circuit don't put a lot of emphasis on thinness or weight. They are all about you looking your best and feeling confident in yourself.
While I understand that some people like to wear as little as possible to the beach, I am not one of them. When I get in the water, I want to swim, go tubing, and generally horse around. I RARELY wear a bikini even when I am in great shape, simply because I almost always lose my top tubing. I have very large breasts.
I think that the people, like me, who think wearing a bikini while pregnant is not in the best taste are more modest...not judgmental like you are accusing us of. Why does not wanting people to see something that I think should be reserved for my husband make me a calorie counting, image obsessed fiend who spends my days staring at other women and thinking of ways that their bodies are off?
Here's my opinion. I never want to see a 300 lb man in a speedo. Not even the Rock. I like a little to the imagination.
Yes, yes, yes. One of the reasons I love Italy so much - they just love to love, and I feel so comfortable there! Also, one of the reasons I convinced DH to move to Nor Cal instead of me moving to him - I felt like there was pressure in his area to get dressed up/tanned up/bleached up just to go to the store!
I spend the summers wake boarding, so I get your comments about covering up for water sports, but I think this post is more about being comfortable with WHATEVER you chose to do, and supporting one another as women - despite a society/media which often portrays a different message. I don't think the finger was being pointed at people who are pro covering-up, more our media and society norms of fitting into the "perfect mold."
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This is yet another reason that I loved living in Italy so much.... LOVE it...And I ate a TON but they walk everywhere and so did I.... Chocolate croissants and gelato EVERY DAY and I still gained MUSCLE and not a single pound.
Anyone up for spring break on capri with all of our bellies??
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d&c 5/21/13... Still Healing, Still Standing...
MMC discovered 10/2/2013, TWINS... d&c 10/7/2013. I still miss you, little ones.
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Will TTC summer Summer 2014 we hope!
Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me?
PgAL and PAL always welcome...I get what you're saying. But if you read a reply I made in this post, you see that I clarify that I'm not talking about modesty, that I would never tell a woman she needs to dress less modestly than she's comfortable with. What I'm talking about is putting our own bodies or other's bodies down in our minds because they're not the perfect body type. I wasn't pointing my finger at anybody specifically - more offering a different view point from a different culture that just doesn't share America's idea of the need to be perfect for beach season. That is all. No offense was meant.
no offense taken:) no offense meant on my part either:)
And THIS is the difference between our board and many of the others... we might have differing opinions, but look how nicely we talk about it! Other boards would have 500 posts arguing about this topic by now... ;-)
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