#2
At 8 weeks, my pregnancy ended on January 24 @ 12:15....So says the Certificate of Death of Early Pregnancy Loss, signed and sealed from my RE...I keep reading it today...it's the first I have looked at my surgery discharge papers. I measured 6 weeks and the "fetus was delivered with no signs of vitality."
The reality of it is, I had a D&C and at 8 weeks there was no sign of a fetus and the gestational sac was underdeveloped. We sent the "pregnancy tissue" off for genetics testing and now wait an agonizing 6wks (as if the 2ww wasn't long enough) for the results to come back.
I did not want to come back to this page but I obviously am not ready to move on b/c I tear up when I have a quiet moment. I'm trying to rationalize that is was so early, again. And I do count my blessings that I never saw a fetus, again. But its still very difficult.
I have NO clue what is going to happen next...I have No clue what to hope for, other than this not being the end of our journey...This is out-of-pocket so we can handle what we have been doing, we can manage these attempts but if it comes back that we have to do genetically engineered embroys with IVF, well, frankly we are done. I do not want to be done...I want my take home baby.
I feel the loss of my/our baby and I am fearing the loss of our ability to continue...I'm just not dealing well.........
Re: #2
I am so sorry. Give yourself time....remember it has only been 5 days. Please give youself permission to grieve for your child, and your hopes and dreams for that child. (((((HUGS)))))
5/9/2013 = Our rainbow was born!!
08/18/2012 - BFP (Hoping this is our rainbow!)
06/24/2012 - Loss confirmed at 12 weeks
12/14/2010 - Loss baby girl at 20 weeks due to Turner Syndrome
01/2009 - Chemical Pregnancy
My Blog
4 losses: Natural m/c 8w 1/11, CP 12/11, CP 3/12, and our perfectly healthy baby girl Charlotte Grace, missed M/C 5/31/12 at 8w5d
TTC#2 5/14, BFP 8/15/14! Beta #1 16 (11 DPO), Beta #2 71 (14 DPO) Beta #3 164 (16 DPO) Beta #4 633 (21 DPO) Beta #5 1487 (23 DPO) Heartbeat 121 bpm at 6w6d! EDD 4/25/15
DD#1 9-4-04 *** DD#2 10-15-07
BFP#3 10-25-10 *EDD 7/1/11 * missed m/c @ 13w3d
BFP#4 7-30-11 *EDD 4/8/12 ~ DD#3 born 4/4/12
after our recent loss we are waiting for the genetics to come back also...depending on that we too have been looking into the pregenetic screening/diagnosis associated with iVF. I am just feeling like there is no way i can just "try again" after this terrible heartache, and the genetic testing will give us the best chance we have at a take hime baby. of course the cost is another issue all together...and of course we have moved and the closest location for it is about 2-3 hours away. So now like you we have to wait for the final genetics to come back. but like our geneticist said (and it made me feel a little better) is that even if the genetics come back as normal we know that something went wrong ...it just means that the genetics were tested within the current limits of science and they didnt locate what happened. (and of course we know something happened bc my baby didnt have a brain and had multiple heart defects)
Its been 2 and a half weeks since my baby is gone, and i feel your pain.
hugs
i pray that we all get our take home baby soon
DC#2 born silent at 22 weeks 1.11.11
Dc#3 born vbac 1/2012 <bra DC#4 born VBAC 3/2014