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Stay at Home Moms
So apparently I'm "wasting my education" (vent)
Hello ladies,
I usually don't post on this board and in fact didn't even see it until today. Just to give some background, DH and I have been married about 2 years and are TTC #1. We have thought long and hard about every major decision in our life and decided that I should get my education finished first because I can still do my online classes while raising our (future) children. Our plan has always been for me to be a SAHM, at least while our (future) children are young. We thought this was "right" because we always hear about "how hard it is to go back to school" blah blah blah. Now we're getting all kinds of flack because apparently I'm "getting a master's degree to be a SAHM". WTH???? IMO, people spend time and money to prepare for most careers, and what "career" is more important than being a good parent and raising your children??? My degree actually has a lot to do with children (it's in an education field) and will no doubt be very helpful. In addition, I will have plenty of work experience to back up my degree, so why are people being so negative that I want to take a few years "off" to be a SAHM??? DH's mother was a SAHM, while my mother worked one and sometimes two jobs. I would much rather be home to see that my kids are taken care of, and be home when they get home from school and not have to take them to day care or to a relative's house. We have saved and planned for this, so why is it their business???
Okay vent over!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So apparently I'm "wasting my education" (vent)
I have an MBA and I am a SAHM.
I'll tell you right now, people are gonna have opinions one way or the other. You do what is right for you and your family and don't worry about what others say.
I have a law degree and while I work part time right now (only 15 hours a week) I will most likely be home full time when we have another LO. People are always going to make comments like this but you have to know that your decision is right for you and then just stick to your guns and ignore them.
For me personally I can list off at least 10 significant ways in which getting my law degree improved my life and I also know that had I not gotten that degree and worked for a few years before having DS I would have always regretted it and would have felt trapped...always wondering what could have been, KWIM? But I never wonder that now, I know that I was able to do that and that when my children are older I will be able to use my education in some way and that gives me great peace. I think people undervalue the impact achieving that sort of goal can have on the rest of your life.
You just can't let it bother you.
I'm an attorney. Went to a top school, got a pretigious job after law school, all that stuff. Now I stay at home, and I don't plan to go back to work for a while. It's the best decision for our family right now.
Thankfully, my friends and family are supportive. I do get the occasional "what do you do all day" comment, but only from friends who don't have kids yet. I just don't let it bother me :-)
The only people who waste education are the ones who learn nothing from it. I believe in life long learning. I like to learn and do different things. I don't think it is ever a waste. My mother had a masters degree from a top 20 University, she never worked a day after my brother was born. My grandmothers both had college degrees and neither ever worked for a paycheck, but they certainly contributed to their families and communities. My grandmother died at 88 and probably had 500 people at her funeral, considering most of her friends were dead, I think that is pretty amazing, and it is directly related to the good she did in her community, for her family, and friends. She could have done it without an education, but she was a firm believer that education was the key to a good life and believed that it was an asset, though she never worked for anyone except her children and her husband.
I have an engineering degree, and MBA and I am a SAHW. (quit my job back in August when I was pregnant, then miscarried, now pregnant again).
I used my degrees for 13 years. Helped pay down a mortgage on our house, put a ton of money into my 401(k), and supported DH while he took a 60% pay cut so he could pursue his career dreams. I stayed in a career I hated for way too long in order to support him (but I have no regrets about that).
I don't think education is something that is ever wasted. If nothing else, it makes you a more well-rounded person with an expanded life view. I hope to go back to work when the baby is a year old, but for now I enjoy being a SAH.
My relationship with my husband is soooo much stronger now that I'm not working. He is happier because when he gets home, there is a hot meal on the table and he gets to spend the rest of the evening relaxing instead of helping with chores.
I don't have a Masters. However, the four years spent getting my Bachelor's were some of the best years of my life. Even if I never worked another day in my life, I wouldn't trade those years for anything and would not consider it "wasted."
Also, I have found that I was more sensitive to the comments before I actually became a SAHM and realized how freakin' fantastic it is. Not saying you are too sensitive, just that once you figure out it's the right thing for you, the negative comments don't mean anything anymore.
Good luck!
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
I couldn't agree more!!! I think that being a parent is the toughest and most important "career" out there. People go to school for years to become doctors, lawyers, accountants, and other things, so why not go to school to prepare to be a good parent? Glad you agree
My B.S. is in Psychology and Education and my M.Ed will be in Educational Psychology. I've studied everything from child and adolescent development to behavior management to special education. How this will be "wasted" on raising children is a mystery to me!