- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Single Parents
"Cherish your furbabies today because there might not be a tomorrow"
Heaven has another angel. RIP Bubba 2/15/09 - 9 Months Old
Godspeed Apache "Boo Boo" 2/2/09 - 2 1/2 Years Old
Rest in peace my sweet Angel. 11/05/08 - 2 Years Old
I asked my husband to leave last night
A week ago I posted on another board about my DH being a pathological liar (he's also bipolar) & how he'd been pretending to go to work everyday for the past 2 months when he didn't even have a job. I had a glimmer of hope when he told his siblings what had been going on & I thought it was a step in the right direction. Well this week he kept talking about this job he was supposed to start on the 31st & he kept telling me he was getting together with them this week to go over the contract, yet everyday there was a different excuse & the meetings were being rescheduled.
Today was the last straw & after an argument & him leaving for 3 hours, he comes back & says that he's feeling like he's being strung along with the company & I flat out asked him if he was every formally offered the job. He said no, but he had hoped it was going to work out & was disappointed & that there were other offers he'd turned down waiting to hear from them. I call bull$hit.
So after I tried talking to him & dealing with an emotionless blank stare, he mentioned divorce, like he always does & well, I was so fed up with the crap I've put up with over the years, I told him if he thinks I am the problem in his life & he's not happy that he needs to fix it. I then told him to get out. He looked at me & said he wasn't leaving & I told him I would call the police if he didn't. Last week when I discovered the job lies, he came home & packed his clothes & still hadn't unpacked them (I think he knew this was coming), so I started picking up the bags & saying "come on, get out". He then said he was just kidding about the divorce & I said I wasn't & told him I didn't want him here & that he made me sick & I walked out of the room. He proceeded to put his bags in the car & get whatever else he needed & told me he was going to a Marriott (he has rewards points). I didn't even respond or look at him. I think he was floored because I've always gone after him & begged him not to leave.
When he pulled out of the driveway & I knew he was gone, I felt this sense of relief, like the stress was gone. I don't know what's going to happen now. I go back to work on Monday & will get health insurance for me & my daughter & I guess just take it one day at a time. The man needs to admit himself for a mental evaluation because the lengths he has gone to to hide things is not normal at all. His sister asked me if the marriage could be saved & I honestly told her I didn't think so. That made her sad but there is no trust at all on my part. I cannot go through the rest of my life like this & I certainly don't want the baby to have to live with the tension of miserable parents. She deserves so much better than that & even as a single mom, I'm going to do the best that I can for her.
I never thought almost 7 years ago when we got married that I would be ending it & have a 4 month old at the time. But the lack of responsibility on his part (no health insurance for the baby or us!) & not communicating with me so we could work together towards a solution, well that's just a deal breaker. It sucks & I'm sad & I hope I'm doing the right thing for my daughter. Unlike him, she's my #1 priority. 42 & most likely will end up living with my parents since my credit is getting all f'd up with the bills not being paid. He's a peach!
"Cherish your furbabies today because there might not be a tomorrow"
Heaven has another angel. RIP Bubba 2/15/09 - 9 Months Old
Godspeed Apache "Boo Boo" 2/2/09 - 2 1/2 Years Old
Rest in peace my sweet Angel. 11/05/08 - 2 Years Old
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I asked my husband to leave last night
Welcome. My H is also bipolar and I know the blank stare well. It's incredibly frustrating to try to logically talk with someone who clearly doesn't "get it." You may as well be talking to a brick wall. Here's the thing: You can't rationalize with someone like that. It won't work, it's a waste of time.
The lying. Oh my goodness, the lying. It's an obsession for them. H lies about things that it doesn't even make sense to lie about-big things, miniscual things-it doesn't matter. I don't think he even realizes he does it - it's pathological.
Change the locks on your house if you feel you need to. I just did this last week and am so glad I did. Start documenting interaction with him. Doing this has helped me see the incredible swings in mood and behavior in such a short time. One minute H is telling me I'm an incredible mom and kissing me on the forehead, a few hours later he's screaming that I "will pay" if I don't do what he says.
Remember this: Hold onto your reality as it is the truth, even when his is distorted and you are blamed for everything under the sun or everything is better now that he doesn't have to deal with you, his logic is not reality. Protect yourself and LO!
Keep us updated!
Board Hopping, but it's nice to meet you. My XH is bipolar with other unspecified mental disorders. I'm familiar with situations like yours too. It did make gettting custody easier though. Just be careful and change those locks! If you are renting go sign a new lease with just your name on it so if he does come back and you don't want him there the police can do something about it.
I haven't seen many posts from you on the 3-6 Month board lately... I must say, I am surprised to see you here. I'm sorry about all that happened, but I am glad that you're doing what's in the best interest of your daughter.
I hope everything remains as cordial as possible!
My Flickr