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3rd Trimester
mmks
member
Birth plans
mmks
member
Sorry if this has already been asked...
What is your opinion of birth plans? Are they helpful or do they just annoy the hospital staff?
I totally understand that any and all plans could go right out the window on D day, but I don't really trust that DH listens well enough to express my wants if push comes to shove (haha)!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Birth plans
I have one and I asked the MW at my OBs office about it. I point blank said, "I don't want to be the girl they make fun of." She said that the hospital where I am delivering is much more open to natural deliveries than in the past and that it's always a good idea to have things documented (bullet-points and one page or less).
ETA: I forgot to add that she liked the idea of my bringing a basket of treats for the nurses' station. According to her, bringing food helps everyone be nicer to you.
one thing our birthing class instructor told us about birthing plans (she's a nurse), was that if you tell them not to do something, they can't do it, even itf it's in your (or your baby's) best interest. for example, she said a girl didn't want an episiotomy whatsoever, so they asked if she at least wanted a local to numb it for when she did rip, she said no, and ended up with horrible tearing and bleeding, all of which could have been surpassed with an episiotomy.
2nd, someone said that they didn't want a c-section, so the nurse was like ok? if that's the only way to get your baby out, and then you say we can't do one, what do you want us to do? just stand here and let your baby die? and then you come back and sue us?
But anyway, there is a couple things I want/ don't want, but I think that they are simple enough requests that they can be remembered.
If you just have a couple things you really want, then maybe you should just write those things down, and not do a whole birth plan?
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You can phrase things in such a way that this wouldn't happen. For example:
? I do not want an episiotomy, but am willing to discuss its necessity should the occasion arise.
? If it becomes necessary to deliver our baby by C-section, I would like to avoid general anesthesia unless absolutely medically necessary. Just a suggestion...Who wants an episiotomy but then again you wants 3rd degrees tears,,, My friend told her doc not to do a episiotomy but in the end she had more damage from tearing... I had an episiotomy and was not aware of it until I heard the cutting... but in the end I healed a lot better and quicker than if I tore.
My birth plan was to stay out of the hospital until I could not take the contractions anymore or my water broke... Was able to stay home and walk around until I was 6 1/2 cm but I also had back labor.. Had an epidural as soon as I got to the hospital and they had to break my water... 36 hrs late after 15 minutes of pushing baby was here,,,,
Felt sick after birth so could not bf right away like I wanted but she had no problems latching on despite be given a bottle one night in hospital so I could sleep and the pacifier..
I haven't had a baby yet, so I can't speak from personal experience. But I have worked in healthcare for many years and now work for a very large hospital.
From speaking to colleagues of mine in L&D, birthplans are good things but the mother-to-be must be flexible. Life or death situations can/do pop up. They are not trying to harm you or your baby by performing certain procedures or giving certain meds.
I've also heard horror stories of women causing more harm to themselves or their baby by refusing to follow medical advice. I plan to have a flexible birth plan, and do whatever is best for me and my baby during delivery.
Just make sure it's not homemade goodies cause I could see that being an issue.
Also at my hospital the encourage you to have one, they even have a copy of one on their webpage. & the L&D nurse wentover it with us.
I would keep it short and sweet. If it becomes long and wordy, its harder to get your point across. And DH has to be on board too because he is going to be your best advocate for what you want on your birth plan. Just because you write it down, doesn't mean they are going to do things the way you want. Especially when things are so routine for a hospital staff and they forget (in the height of the action) that you wanted xyz. That's where DH comes in to speak up. So get him on board!
From experience as an L&D RN, the best thing you can do is keep it concise and to the point and be able to speak clearly and openly to the nursing staff about your birth plan as you are being admitted. Another thing is to go over with your OB to get his feedback and make sure he is on board at a prenatal visit. He might pay you lip service that he is cool with natural births but you could both have different interpretations of what that is- you do NOT want to find out on the day you're in labor that he doesn't agree with something on your birth plan. There's not much you can do then.
And just because there is something on your birth plan that says you do not want a certain procedure, doesn't mean the medical or nursing staff won't do it- it's not a written contract they have signed, they still have policies and procedures in place they must follow. Once again, your birth plan is not a legal binding document- it's just a piece of paper with your wishes for how you'd like things to go- that's it.
I am not writing a birth plan because DH knows exactly what I do and do not want and I feel confident and he can speak up for me. Also we're using a birth center with midwives, I completely trust them to help me have the kind of birth that I want.
Good luck
This doesn't make sense to me at all... how do you know know you healed better and quicker than if you tore? Did you have an episiotomy cut in one place and a tear in the other and the epi healed quicker?
You should do a birth plan as much for you and DH as anything - you need to consider all the options and how you feel about things so you will not have to make decisions you haven't considered when under lots of stress. Of course, a birth plan is always subject to change, but it's good to have a sense of things.
Don't worry about "annoying" the staff - they are there to provide the best care for you as close to your wishes as possible - the birth is about you and your baby. You aren't there to please them ;-)
As for the episotomy comment ...the medical research is pretty clear that natural tearing is preferable and heals better than a cut (plus a cut can easily tear more) - they are currently recommended against as routine practice.
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Thanks for all the feedback! I was going to use this:
"This birth plan is intended to express the preference and desires we have for the birth of our baby. It is not intended to be a script. We fully realize that situations may arise such that our plan cannot and should not be followed. However, we hope that barring any extenuating circumstances, you will be able to keep us informed and aware of our options. Thank you."
which I found at childbirth.org. I totally intend to be flexible and understand that childbirth can't really be planned.
I think I will bring this with me to my next ob appt and talk it over with her then too.
If nothing else it will be good for DH to have it all written down to refer to!
yes, this! I just wouldn't full on rule anything that might be lifesaving/ make for a better recovery out (like the people our teacher had worked with did)
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As an L&D nurse, the best advice I can give is to actually write your birth plan if you are going to make one. Finding a birth plan online and clicking the boxes you want and printing it out is not very helpful. Telling your nurse on admission what your hopes are is much more effective than us reading a long list. It is assumed that you would like the room to be calm, and would like to avoid a csection. Things that are helpful:
- would you like the baby on your chest after delivery, or to be cleaned up a little first
- what are your plans for breast/bottle feeding and pacifier use
- do you want an epidural or is your plan to go natural. Would you like the nurse to ask you if you want pain meds, or would you prefer to ask it
In general, just be very flexible to the idea that things may not go as you had thought/hoped. Nurses try to make your birth experience as close to what you want as possible, but sometimes those little critters inside of us have other plans.
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