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February 2011 Moms
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I no longer have any self esteem....(vent)

MaximusMommaMaximusMomma
in February 2011 Moms

My DBF, no longer wants anything to do with me on a sexual level. It's been like this for about 2 1/2 weeks now. Tonight I finally got the blunt of it all.

He told me that when he got home from work we would actually do something! I was completely excited because we hadn't in weeks. He comes home we go upstairs to "go to bed" and he suddenly says he doesn't want to anymore. I ask him "why?" and he rolls over and ignores me. So I asked him again hoping he'd answer. Same thing....nothing. So I go "are you serious?!" and he responds that time with a "yeah." I sit up, and start crying. So I have to ask because I just want to know why.."Is it because I'm "fat"...." He doesn't say anything...so in my mind that means that's the answer and he just doesn't want to say it. Because he could of had the respect to say no if that wasn't what it is. So I just run out of the room crying my eyes out. He doesn't do anything, he just stays in the room watches tv and eventually falls asleep.

I feel so ugly, fat and gross... I think I cried for about 2 hours straight. I don't know what to do.Crying

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Re: I no longer have any self esteem....(vent)

  • sclement7975sclement7975
    Oh no! That is horrible. I am so sorry. He needs to learn how express himself better! Also how to be a little more sensitive. I know that the whole pregnant big belly thing can weird guys out, but they need to learn how to deal!! I would feel the same way if I were you. I would also try to talk to him more about this later. I am so sensitive that this would effect our relationshIp long after LO arrives because I would feel that he didn't love me unconditionally. I hope you feel better soon and being pregnant is such a beautiful thing... don't let him make you feel otherwise!!!
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  • Whitney DDWhitney DD
    I know how you feel honey. Out sex life is gone too. I feel so ugly and swollen I can't wait til this baby is out and start getting back to normal.
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  • TofuMama7TofuMama7

    I know how you feel, between my big belly and the stretch marks I feel totally disgusting. My DH hasn't been fazed by it; I've been the one shooting him down or at least insisting that everything happen in complete darkness (which he is finding frustrating).

    In my opinion, your DBF needs to apologize and do something to make this up to you. I know that some guys are really weirded out by pregnant bodies and he can't help it if he's one of those guys, but he definitely should have come after you when you left the room crying.

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  • rakulmanrakulman
    welcome to my world. its been this way for me for the past 6 months. and when i told him that ill be out of commission for a lil while after the baby comes he decided to tack on another few months regaurdless. im gona forget how to even have sex by the time he decides its safe again.
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  • TiffanyTheMomTiffanyTheMom member

    I'm so sorry that happened. :( He needs sto stop being an idiot.

    I'm such a snarky witch I'd totally not have sex with him for 6 months after baby comes. Why should he be the one to decide why/when sex happens? Nope. 

     

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  • Lucky_DragonflyLucky_Dragonfly member
    WOW!!!! I think that would have been grounds for me to tell him that he's living on the couch until you say so.
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  • MaximusMommaMaximusMomma

    imageLucky_Dragonfly:
    WOW!!!! I think that would have been grounds for me to tell him that he's living on the couch until you say so.

     Yeah I woke him up and was like "Go sleep on the couch I don't want you sleeping with me." Smile

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