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Stay at Home Moms
POLL: How do you define success as a SAHM?
In general or for you personally. Now that I've been in this role for almost 3 years, I've come to think of it more and more as a job that I have to apply myself to. Meaning, I have to keep myself focused and disciplined (while I'm on the bump... lol) while also trying to enjoy the perks like seeing my little guys play, and learn and grow. In this job, there are no official performance reviews like with other jobs, so its up to us to not only establish our criteria for success, but ensure we keep meeting them (pretty tough, I know!), with no bonuses or merit increases. 
I know this is pretty open-ended, but I'd love to hear thoughts of other SAHMs.
When/how do you know you are successful as a SAHM?
Are there standards that apply to all SAHMs?
Is it a list of accomplishments or something less tangible?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: POLL: How do you define success as a SAHM?
good question-
it is funny when I was doing performance reviews for my employees- i thought about what a performance review for me as a SAHM would be like-
1. How i know when i am successful- honestly it changes a lot from the early days of SAH. For me know success = having happy kids and for the most part enjoying every second of it. Success is growing as an individual and as a mom along with my children growing. For me I guess being successful means learning from them as much as they learn from me.
2. Do these standards apply to all SAHMs- No not at all. I don't think success could ever be 'boxed' like that. No one person holds their standards and measure of success as someone else.
3. List vs tangible- I think in my professional career it was/is much more tangible and concrete. My SAH achievements I guess could be consider tangible but i think as a whole it is more of an overall feeling of accomplishment. (that totally doesn't make sense and I am not wording this correctly.)
Like pp said, it's changed since I first started staying at home 5 years ago. Back then it was: spotless house, fabulous dinners and a tight ass.
Now it is happy kids, a content husband, good friends and feeling like I'm raising my kids to be well behaved, kind people.
I wouldn't presume to set standards for other SAHMs.
It's less tangible now, but I still try to hold myself to some tangible accomplishments: i.e. making healthy foods, a variety of activities for the family, attending church, reading books both for pleasure and to learn more about raising kids, maintaining my own friendships and cultivating an attitude of gratitude.
When/how do you know you are successful as a SAHM?
1) When I keep the house clean and organized.
2) When I put good food on the table (tasty, fresh, healthy, local, cruelty-free).
3) When I pay the bills on time, keep us on track with our budget, and find extra money for bigger, "bucket list" stuff like foreign travel and remodeling.
4) When I read up on DD's developmental stages and how to handle the rough spots; when I affirm her, and teach her to be strong and awesome.
5) When I also focus on myself -- both my daily needs and my long-term personal development.
Are there standards that apply to all SAHMs?
I really don't think so. Everyone has different life situations and different goals.
My standard for success as a SAHM is the same as my standard for any parent.
My kid is safe and happy and so am I and my husband. Well fed (healthy and appropriate amounts) comes into both of those-whether I make the food or we go out to eat! That is mostly because not being well fed would make all of us unhappy.
For cleaning and laundry, that sort of thing, as long as we muddle through the same as we did pre-kid, I'm good and so are Joe and Sam.
I really like this. I think I'm in the same camp. I feel like there are specific standards I expect of myself, but I don't articulate them. You however, have gotten pretty close to what I've always had swirling around inside.
In some ways I think for me, being in charge of my own "performance" is difficult because it's easy for me to let myself slide on things, and then I'm disappointed in myself and feel like I'm letting my family down. On the other hand its nice to have flexibility and not have a boss breathing down your neck.