Two Under 2
Are you a SAHM with no family or outside help (nanny, daycare, etc)?
How do you make life with 2 under 2 work when you are the only caregiver?
My husband and I are thinking of having 2 under 2 (right now our first is only 3.5 months) but are really worried that with no family help (we live far away) and not being able to afford a nanny how do-able is it? We are worried we won't be able to handle it or the stress will be to much, as we are kinda run ragged as it is now.
Maybe we are just in a fog and can't see the light from the tunnel. I keep telling myself we would cope and figure it out as we go along - just like we did with our first.
I know there are a ton of families that are in similar situations and I wonder how you all make it work?
Thanks!
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Re: Are you a SAHM with no family or outside help (nanny, daycare, etc)?
Most of my SAHM friends do it on their own (as do I), but then again I am not of the "it takes a village to raise a child" mindset. As far as I am concerned, they are my children and my responsibility so I take care of them myself. I have family locally, but would never consider calling them to come over and "help". I do borrow the occasional family member for babysitting if I have something like an OB appt, but other than that DH and I do 100% of the work.
I don't know what your situation is, but DH definitely pulls his weight around here and even though I am a SAHM, and he works FT, he definitely does 50/50 with me as far as taking care of the kids so I am lucky to have him. Most guys I know aren't as involved with their kids as my DH is so depending on your situation and how much DH contributes that might help you make the decision. Good luck.
I also want to add this: My DS and DD are BEST FRIENDS and great playmates. If I had to do it all over again I would do it in a heartbeat! It was the best decision we made.
Jacob 3.23.08 * Grace 7.22.09 * Eli 7.26.11 * Annabelle 1.18.14
We are an ocean away from family w/ 2u2. Like PPs have said...you just make it work. My DH is amazing and co-parents doing everything I need. I have a lot of friends here that are mums that give support to. We try to stay busy with play groups and classes for my toddler (gymnastics). DS2 gets worn a lot. He does not get naps (especially the morning nap) as consistently as my first son did...but he'll end up okay.
It helped that I had an American friend (living here) who got pregnant at the exact same time as me (she also has an older son the age of my toddler)...so we went through the pregnancies & births together...and now, we see each other several times a week with all 4 boys. If the older ones beat each other up while we are nursing, we both just understand.
You just make it work. :-)
Like all things 2u2 you just do what you've gotta do just like you said.
The first 3-4 months were survival and the whole first year was hard.
I have NO clue how people do it when their older one doesn't STTN.
Sleep makes a big difference for me!
And you can always find a sitter and plan a date night once a month so you and DH have some couple time to maintain your relationship a bit.
And you can trade off a girls night and a guys night each month so you can have some alone time too.
The little things make a big difference. I make/made a ton of freezer meals and DH was often downstairs prepping the next night's dinner while I nursed the baby down so I could crash right after he fell asleep and so I wouldn't have to put too much effort into dinner.
DH was already fairly involved but he really stepped up in the last trimester of #2 and after he was born.
No clue how to do it without a partner that's not afraid to get in the trenches with me!
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
You just make it work. We moved 8 hours from our families when I was 5 months pg with DD so we did not really know anyone when she was born either. We had no help at all. Honestly the first 3 months were terrible but DD had colic and cried all the time. Fortunately DS was a great sleeper and slept through it all. After she got over the colic and was somewhat of a schedule things go easier. DH really stepped up and helped also which was key to making it work especially the first 3 months. We didn't have a babysitter either so we did date night in or family date night out. If it is something you want, you will find a way to make it work.
DS and DD are now best friends and play really well together. Although it was not planned and it was hard at first, I would not change it for the world.
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