I feel like I need to explain...
My feelings about the Wilma situation aren't specific to "her". I know there's something wrong there.
I feel like people can be too quick to get into a sort of mob mentality and immediately label someone as an outcast (or whatever the case may be). I try to keep an open mind and remember that there's a possibility (I feel like everyone was overlooking that word in my posts yesterday) that my impression of someone could be wrong.
Maybe I'm too optimistic or give people too much credit in believing they are inherently good, but the truth is that I always fear the same will happen to me. I always feel like I have to try to fit in when I'm posting here or am at a GTG. I've always been more at ease with guy friends, and because I'm socially awkward, I'm afraid you will all think I'm weird.
For the record, I'm not saying anyone's been intentionally mean here. A lot of my emotions yesterday stemmed from reading the snide comments made on the national boards -- not only about Wilma, but about each other.
Anyways, I hope that makes more sense to you all now and that I haven't just ruined my chances of still being accepted here.
All Dressed Up
Re: I feel like I need to explain...
Thanks, Sara. I don't know why I'm so worried about what other girls think of me, because I'm perfectly fine with all of my quirks around guys. My only guess is that I've never had a close girl friend for very long; they've all ended up moving away (not because of me!).
All Dressed Up
Are you friends with Merlin Oleson?
Seriously, though. I don't think we are a snarky group in general, but Wilma has us all a little on edge!
Well, being the person who 'outed' her to the board-let me just say that initially, I really wanted to be 'sure' before saying something, for that very reason. You don't want to say something like that if you don't know for sure for obvious reasons. But given everything I saw and read (including her profile, which right after I outed her was suddenly no longer available) I concluded that it was all too weird to be legit.
As for concerns about yourself, don't worry about that. Wilma is being posted about because, as you noted yourself, she blatantly lies on a regular basis. Nobody here would project the same sort of feelings/mentality about a regular normal poster like you! We genuinely don't get that way here on the board, unless provoked by someone who truly goes out of their way to be rude/ a troll/whatever.
I'll admit being a part of boards/blogs/etc for a few years now is partially due to my own personality (I met DH through an online journal website! ). I've always been shy/awkward, particularly with groups of women- and don't feel like I 'fit in' easily at all. I've thought about that in terms of finally going to a first GTG soon, myself. So please don't think your feelings on this mean you wouldn't be accepted here.
Thanks -- this makes me feel better.
I didn't have all of the information yesterday, but I also felt like some of the things that were being pointed out as "proof" could easily have been explained. An example being the wording in her posts. I used the word illiterate yesterday, but I did not mean that in its true definition. I have come across many people who understand how to use technology (and can read) but cannot effectively express themselves because they do not proofread what they have typed (often resulting in what appear to be random or incomplete trains of thought) and are just flat-out terrible spellers.
The combination of everything, though, is why I don't believe "her".
As you can see, I have a horrible habit of trying to explain my every thought if someone doesn't see eye to eye with me, so I'm going to stop now, haha.
All Dressed Up
I don't think either of you are weird. I think I maybe weird, I guess because I have never considered the fact that anyone would come on these boards that wasn't either TTC, prego, or a parent.
I am not so quick to judge Wilma (although I do agree that some of the posts were indeed strange, but I couldn't read them all). After reading the responses from all the ladies, I will admit, it has me a little nervous to post for fear of judgement if I say something wrong or have an "out there" day. I joined this board in hopes of finding women going through the same thing as I am and to have a place to relate to others. It took me a while to post my first response, because most participants seem to already know each other and have established friendships through their experiences. I don't have a lot of girl friends locally and so I thought this board would be perfect. Honestly, if you looked on my FB page, you would see NOTHING about my pregnancy but that was a personal decision because there are a lot of people on there that just want info on you to talk about you and create their own scenarios about your life, and I don't want to deal with that.
Anyway, all of this to say....LOL....that I enjoy coming here everyday and seeing how everyone is doing and the questions that other ask that I may not have thought of. I promise I am not a creeper, just a crazy pregnant woman.
I guess I should have worded that differently.....I have seen your posts and responded to a few and you always have legitimate questions for when you decide to TTC, so I guess I just thought you were TTC. I just meant I never thought about the fact that people would come on here for other reasons.
I don't think I welcomed you before, but welcome! That's exactly why I come to this board (and did before I was TTC). It is a great way to learn and share with other people, when I don't really have any close friends who I feel I can talk to about baby-related things (besides my husband, but he doesn't have any experience with babies, either).
All Dressed Up
Exactly!
All Dressed Up
As one of the newer regulars (I only started posting here about a year and a half ago) I can say that I don't personally find any of you "creepy" I totally believe that all of you are who you say you are
I totally understand about being a little hesitant about being a new poster in a board full of women who "know" each other so well. It took me a few weeks of being a creepy lurker before I came on here and introduced myself to the board, and several more months before I really felt like I was a real part of the dynamic around here.
I think Wilma just has a lot of us on edge. I, for one, posted a LOT of stuff I shouldn't have (like where my kid goes to school, where I work, my last name, etc.) and finding out that a "girl" like Wilma is hanging around really freaked me out. I'm not usually one to flame a poster, but this "chick" has got to go!
Yeah, I don't think any of us were as careful as we should've been from the beginning. I always knew that non-members could read our posts, but I just never worried about it. Having someone present themselves this way is a big reminder of what's out there, though!
All Dressed Up
All Dressed Up
Well, I missed all the drama. I'm not sure there's much you could do to make me not like you, though
I pretty much think you're the bee's knees!
Also? I have no idea what happened but I think it says a lot about your character to stick up for something even if you think it might make you unpopular.
All Dressed Up