Ugh drama!

amyfelice · January 2011

We are putting Elena in daycare/preschool because she is so very ready to be with other kids and learn stuff. NOT just to save money, because honestly the one we like the best is not that much less than the nanny costs.

So I had a very civilized conversation with my mom about it, she asked valid questions, (are they licensed? safety issues?) and I answered them all very calmly and I thought "wow, we did really well with that".

Then my parents called me all melodramatic, "begging" us to reconsider, that we are going to "destroy" our daughter by yanking her out of the house and putting her in a place where she doesn't know anyone (as if there is no transition period) and on and on, they just want it "on the record" (wtF?) that they disagree. On the record? So they can say "I told you so" if it doesn't work out? Ending with the usual "don't call us anymore".

I swear, it's no wonder I have so much trouble making a decision. But in this case I know I am doing the right thing for DD. Sheesh.

fricksgirl · January 2011

Oh, it's so hard when your own parents challenge your parenting decisions. Lord knows I've been there.

For what it's worth, for the first 2 years of Alex's life I did a job share where we were each others' childcare- so basically it was much more like a nanny situation- his only interaction was my partner's little girl- and I changed jobs and moved him to a proper preschool/daycare when he was 2 and it was the best decision that we have ever made for him. You know her best, if she's ready, she's ready. Stick with your gut.

And when she flourishes and succeeds in school, send your mom her report cards and say "I told you so"!

amyfelice · January 2011

fricksgirl:
Oh, it's so hard when your own parents challenge your parenting decisions. Lord knows I've been there.
For what it's worth, for the first 2 years of Alex's life I did a job share where we were each others' childcare- so basically it was much more like a nanny situation- his only interaction was my partner's little girl- and I changed jobs and moved him to a proper preschool/daycare when he was 2 and it was the best decision that we have ever made for him. You know her best, if she's ready, she's ready. Stick with your gut.
And when she flourishes and succeeds in school, send your mom her report cards and say "I told you so"!

thank you

OH, when she succeeds and does well, they will have ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION of this phone call. Mark my words, very selective memories they have. Even though they can tell me in excessive, irritating, detail about any aspect of their day.

StefandTodd · January 2011

I'm so sorry. You know your daughter best, not them. She will do awesome in her new environment!! ((hugs))

soon2Bkranz · January 2011

For the record I just rolled my eyes at your parents...Sorry I hate when my mom judges my choices too

Mrs.K&C · January 2011

Oh, boy. That's ridiculous. Sabrina was in (basically) a nanny share for most of her first two years and preschool has been fabulous for her. I also felt she wanted/needed more socialization and she LOVES school. Also she made tons of progress with her speech delay after she started school. She's still in speech therapy which is obviously helping but it does appear school helped more. It's been a fabulous experience for all of us.

green*eyes · January 2011

Wow, that really sucks, I'm sorry! My mom was hesitant about E going to preschool at 2 as well (though it was expressed quite differently) and we all have seen how great it's been - for him as well as my own sanity I might add. We thought he had a mild speech delay at 2 and now the doc was commenting at yesterday's appt how he was talking so well, he's on target or beyond. Now we can't say for sure that comes from preschool, but he's definitely learning a lot and getting used to other kids, which has been new for him since he was mostly just with us before that. I'm sure she's going to love preschool!

everydayeve · January 2011

This drives me insane. When we took E out of her last daycare, my mother went on and on about all the things she never liked about it. She had been there once for less than five minutes, but could somehow judge everything about it. She finally shut it when I told her I felt like she was judging my parenting skills instead of the daycare. And then she went on a rant about how I always think that she's thinking the worst of me... We never win, do we?

Your E is going to LOVE the daycare/preschool environment. You know her better than anyone else and if you can see that she needs more interaction, then she does need it. Your parents, whether they remember it or not, are going to be proven wrong and you can put that "on the record".

MommySteph2009 · January 2011

I'm sorry that your mom is being hard about it. I have found that even though I did not want DS in DC, he loves it, it has been a huge benefit for him.

amyfelice · January 2011

Thanks everyone. I think it was more the melodrama of the situation than the actual concerns that they raised. Talk to me so I can have a normal conversation with you. I feel like that's how I grew up with this insane kind of communication where everything is a huge disaster and catastrophe and it's so negative and destructive.

Thankfully I have learned to largely ignore them. It still irks me though

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