Not to be a negative nelly...

Kimbatron · January 2011

I am about 4-5 weeks pg (LMP Dec 27). I had an early miscarriage 2 years ago. I am having a hard time not being stressed that it will happen again. I wouldn't say that I'm frantic or overly anxious, but I am thinking about it a LOT. Any ideas on how to just chill out? I can't just relax and be happy I'm pregnant because I will think "well 2 years ago...."

Thanks for any pep talk

camdenfaithful · January 2011

I had a m/c over the summer so I know how stressful those first few weeks can be.

I stressed out a LOT and usually on a daily basis. I tried to be really good about drinking lots of water, getting rest, and taking my PNV that way I could say that I did everything I could. I also kept repeating to myself a PgAL mantra, "today I am pregnant and I love my baby." I also would say to myself "I have no reason to believe that there is anything wrong with this pregnancy. Every pregnancy is different." I know they sound so simple but just taking some deep breaths and repeating them to myself helped me feel a lot better.

I'm sorry for your loss. It sucks losing the loss of innocence that comes with being newly pregnant.

SkyBee · January 2011

For me, it helps to just tell myself to enjoy it day by day. I pray that everything goes well, and I try not to think about if it doesn't, but if something goes wrong, I will deal with it when that happens. I also am very grateful I can get pregnant in the first place. After 8 IUIs I was beginning to think it was impossible!

((Hugs)) I think it is normal to worry. I understand why it would be hard not to after having a previous loss.

britt_dickey · January 2011

I am so sorry for your loss! As you can see from my siggie, I also am VERY familiar with loss, but I know that stress isn't good for this baby, so when I get stressed or start thinking about ALL the things that can go wrong (and I am familiar with lots of them!) I tell myself that TODAY I am pregnant and I love this baby. I also am making a decision to celebrate EVERY moment I have with this baby. I know that this baby's days are numbered and are already accounted for (don't know if you are religious, but it helps me!) and that I am just going to celebrate the moments I get!

Hope that helps!?!

Hope&Faith&Love · January 2011

Congratulations! I went through a loss over the summer, and I understand the anxiety. I have personally found a lot of comfort in prayer because it made me feel like I was doing something. And I also have just tried to appreciate each moment that I am pregnant and accepting that there is nothing I can do to affect the outcome of this pregnancy.

Also, try to remember that you are not at any higher risk for m/c just because you had one two years ago, and the odds are at least 75% that this will be a healthy baby. Those are good odds!

HTH. Just try and relax even though it is easier said than done, and stay busy so that you aren't constantly thinking about two years ago.

mrsdemarco · January 2011

Awe... I am going through the same thing... but keeping positive. 3 years ago i miscarried and I am currently 4 weeks prego and was rushed to the hospital the day after my positive test having a threatened miscarriage. But the bleeding stopped and I am feeling better.

I am trying not to think about miscarriage in general and keep visualizing a healthy baby growing in my womb. I am on bed rest right now with my legs on pillows in the air. But just take it easy. Don't do anything strenuous. Have your hubby help you as much as possible. Anytime you catch yourself thinking miscarriage change your thoughts to healthy baby. The more I am online searching baby websites the better I feel.

Also if it makes you feel better-google what to avoid when pregnant. You will be surprised at the foods that can cause miscarriages. You can do many things to help prevent a miscarriage. Do you like mushrooms or brazilian nuts? they have selenium which helps prevent miscarriages.

By doing things to prevent it may help ease your mind.

It is hard to do, not think of all the things that can go wrong, but by avoiding anything that shows, or discusses miscarriages you will ease your mind. One of my favorite movies is The time travelers wife. I started watching it on HBO today and recalled that the wife miscarries 3 times in the movie so I turned it off instead.

Its hard to when you feel you can't scream from the top of your lungs that you are pregnant because you want to get to the safe zone-it only makes you think more about losing the baby.. but you can't think that way.

SO avoid miscarriage topics, movies, tv shows, thoughts... etc..

look up ways to help prevent miscarriages to ease your mind

and your going to have a beautiful healthy happy baby in 8 months!!

Lots of prayers, luck and wishes to you!!

~~~ and heres some sticky baby dust headed your way!!!

JesykaC21 · January 2011

first off I'm sorry for your loss :-( I had a missed m/c a year before I got pg with DS so I completely understand where you are coming from!!! If you can, I would suggest getting a fetal heart doppler, I bought one when I was pg with DS and being able to hear his hb definitely helped. (a word of advice - usually you won't hear the hb until 10-12 weeks along with those) I really don't have any other advice than that, it's a hard thing to forget, even when baby is kicking away and everything! I'm not on TB too often, but please feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk Smile

Happy and Healthy 9 months to you!!

mdotm0904 · January 2011

i miscarried 4years ago. So trust me...the worry NEVER goes away! I'm 8weeks along (which is a bit further than I made it back then), but like someone said earlier, all you can do is take it day by day. You don't want to miss out on a wonderful time of your life by worrying too much. Celebrate each day that you wake up & ur still pregnant. And IF (which prayerfully it doesn't) that day comes....deal with it then. But life is full of too many uncertainties....live in the moment. H&H 9months

Kimbatron · January 2011

Thanks so much, ladies! I really do feel a bit better. Now I'm all misty (thanks, hormones!)

spinach · January 2011

I'm in the same boat too, chemical pregnancy at 5 weeks 1.5 years ago then went through fertility treatments after that. I take it day by day, i still think it's too good to be true because i was in between fertility treatments, we went on vacation and got preg when we got back. I'm trying to chill until my ultrasound appoint in two weeks to hear the heartbeat.

quezzo · January 2011

I've had two miscarriages in the last year as well. It sounds like none of us are alone here so hopefully that will help all of us stay positive.

Congratulations and don't forget to enjoy it!

exoh · January 2011

First of all, let me just say I am SO sorry for everyone's losses. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for all of you ladies. That being said, I just wanted the OP to know you are not alone. This is my first pregnancy. I have not miscarried before, and really have no reason to be overly concerned about miscarrying now, but I worry about it every day, anywayl. I think everyone else gave great advice, but it's hard to follow. I AM grateful that I am pregnant and I try to take it one day at a time, but that's easier said than done.

I just want you to know that you are not alone and I wish EVERYONE a happy and healthy nine months. I hope we all get healthy, happy, take-home babies!

ShawMich · January 2011

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I don't blame you. It's totally normal to worry what's going on inside when you know it's nothing you can control.

Just take it day by day. I hope you have a happy & healthy pregnancy!!!!!!! Good luck and God bless.

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