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Toddler wandering into our bed

pandabearloverpandabearlover
in Success after IF

I think I know the answer to this, but...

Betsy, our 3 yr old, has been coming into our bed in the middle of the night for a while now. We just moved and she's been going through a lot of upheaval in the past couple months so we just let her get in with us and she goes right back to sleep (and we are tired too and this is easiest).  

But, now that we are moving into our permanent home next week, we want her to start sleeping all night in her own bed, especially because she will be sharing with her sister once the little guy gets here.  I know I have created a bad habit and will have to work hard to get her to give it up.  

Any advice?  Our plan is just to put her back in her bed as soon as we hear her walking around-not even let her get into our bed.   Is there anything else we can do?  I don't want to gate her in-we've tried that and it just leads to screaming matches and then all of us are awake forever.

Thanks! 

Momma to 2 sweet girls here on earth and a precious baby boy in heaven
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Re: Toddler wandering into our bed

  • brideinOCbrideinOC
    A friend of mine allowed their son until he was five and the attachment really became out of control.  She gave him five objects and each time he came to their bed, he lost one.  At the end of whatever period of time she gave him (maybe a week), if he had so many left, he got a big reward.  I think the first reward was a real biggie, then each week after was a reward, too.  I don't think it took too long for sleeping in his bed to become a habit.  Sorry that's sort of sketchy with the time frame and details, but that's the gist of it. 
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  • brideinOCbrideinOC
    I do know that she was also very comforting and gave him a few little extra chances, like "you don't want to lose one of your objects, do you?  Remember, if you have # we'll get to go __________."  And they made a big deal when he got that first biggie reward. 
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  • bmf8140bmf8140 member
    I'm in the same situation, so I'm anxious to hear ideas. I've been doing the same (not letting him get in and taking him right back to his bed) BUT with us, he has to have one of us lie with him until he's asleep. We need to get him over that real soon!
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  • muppet.fanmuppet.fan member
    No advice, but I spent a good year on the floor in my parents' room. I would start out in my bed, wake up, drag my pillow and sleeping bag into their room and sleep on the floor. I'm guessing I was probably 4-5 years old and I honestly don't remember my mom ever saying anything about it. I'll have to ask her! But I think I just stopped on my own. Probably not any help to your situation, sorry! :)
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  • CMM05CMM05 member

    I would do exactly what you said: turn her around before she even gets near your door. It is going to take a few days and you will be exhausted, but it is best for all of you.

    The only thing I can think of to help is to let her help pick out things for her new room.

    We just moved about a month ago and we brought DS1 over the new house whenever we could. We made a big deal about his "big" new room and his new "big" boy bed (we bought him a full sized bed and it was his first bed). We also let him pick out some night lights and he helped put away his clothes.

    GL!

     

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