skipping a baby shower...

hootie123 · January 2011

I know I'm not alone in this - but I need some reassurance. I got an invite to my cousins baby shower -I am not sure I can handle being there. At Christmas - someone gave her a onesie and I had to walk away so I wouldn't start crying. So I do not think I am going to be able to make it through the entire thing w/o crying. So I talked to my sister about it - and she completely agrees with me that it is ok to skip the shower, considering what I am going through.

I feel guilty since I love my family - and I am not the type to not go to family events. Only my sister and mom know that I am going through some IF treatments - also I'm not sure what my reason should be as to why I am not there. I guess I should just have them say I couldn't be there - but I know someone will ask what I am doing. I also think that if I do go - I will definitely get asked the question about why I am not pregnant yet - so thats another reason not to go.

I just hate how IF is determining how to live my life.... Has anyone else been through this - did you skip a baby shower or go and regret it or was it ok?

TIA!

Ya Never Know · January 2011

I went to one for a friend, and getting there was the hardest part. Once I was there, I had fun. It was hard, but I think I would have been angry with myself if I didn't attend. I guess it just depends on who's baby shower it is. Had it been a shower for someone who I wasn't close to, I probably wouldn't have gone. I understand how you feel though, and if it really bothers you that much, then it's probably best just not to subject yourself.

jiffy-pop · January 2011

IF definately causes something I like to call...hermitism. Hermitism means that you lock yourself up at home like a hermit crab, afraid to go anywhere (especially to things like baby showers) because you're afraid you will see cute babies or cute pregnant ladies, or cute baby stuff....heck, even cute puppies do it for me! lol

IF definately isolates you.

Ya Never Know · January 2011

jiffy-pop:
IF definately causes something I like to call...hermitism. Hermitism means that you lock yourself up at home like a hermit crab, afraid to go anywhere (especially to things like baby showers) because you're afraid you will see cute babies or cute pregnant ladies, or cute baby stuff....heck, even cute puppies do it for me! lol
IF definately isolates you.

Hermitism. I like it.

ondjima · January 2011

Skip it. Go to the mall or the movies and do something fun instead. The last shower I went to was horrible. I was the ONLY person in the room who did not have any kids. I had to spend 3 hours listening to birth stories, playing ridiculously stupid games, forcing out oohs and aaahs to expensive baby clothes, and judging my friend for having so many showers. She had more gifts than she knew what to do with. I know that a boatload of her stuff was shipped off to the thrift store unopened. Who needs the stress. My vote is definitely skip it! In fact if I ever do get KU I might skip my own shower too

c&n06 · January 2011

Ya Never Know:
jiffy-pop:

IF definately causes something I like to call...hermitism. Hermitism means that you lock yourself up at home like a hermit crab, afraid to go anywhere (especially to things like baby showers) because you're afraid you will see cute babies or cute pregnant ladies, or cute baby stuff....heck, even cute puppies do it for me! lol

IF definately isolates you.

Hermitism. I like it.

I agree

Mye · January 2011

if you will be sad the whole time, then dont do it

jessican08 · January 2011

I just had to decline a 1st birthday party for friends of ours. I hated to do it but I know it was the right decision. I didn't want to break out in tears on such a special day for their family. I went to a 1st birthday party last year and it was tough because I was literally the ONLY one there who was childless and/or not pregnant. I had nothing to contribute to the conversations (all baby/child/labor/PG centered) and I felt like an alien. I know some ladies are incredibly strong and can tough it out but I'm not one of them unfortunately:(

MrsVo · January 2011

ondjima:
Skip it. Go to the mall or the movies and do something fun instead. The last shower I went to was horrible. I was the ONLY person in the room who did not have any kids. I had to spend 3 hours listening to birth stories, playing ridiculously stupid games, forcing out oohs and aaahs to expensive baby clothes, and judging my friend for having so many showers. She had more gifts than she knew what to do with. I know that a boatload of her stuff was shipped off to the thrift store unopened. Who needs the stress. My vote is definitely skip it! In fact if I ever do get KU I might skip my own shower too

I totally agree with this. I hate showers. My bridal shower was torture and basically done for my mother who "had bought things for everyone in the church for years and now it was our turn." Ugghhh.

renee3n2008 · January 2011

I say don't go! I have a shower in February and I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I have no plans of going but I know DH will get pissed if I don't go. He's all about trying not to let our social lives get affected because of what we are going though. I on the other hand would like to be a part of the (in the words of Jiffy) Hermitism group. I don't want to deal with everyone else?s happiness. I'm sure one day I might regret not going but for now I'm a happier person at home.

krysiahamaty · January 2011

I have skipped 4 baby showers. The only one I went to was my best friend's. Don't feel guilty. Don't put yourself through hell.

apaige25 · January 2011

I skipped both of my cousins showers last year because I was really mad that they accidently got pg before I could get pg by trying. I still sent a gift with my mom and I told her to make something up. So the first time was that I had to work, and the second one was that I had been out of town all weekend and needed to go home to feed the cat.

BBColt78 · January 2011

I skipped many baby showers. In fact, I skipped showers after my BFP with IVF. I notice that many girls on PAIF skip showers, especially in the beginning.

Do not feel badly. I never regreted not going to a shower. Instead, play my shower game: go online and buy something off the registry as quick as you can. Have it sent directly to her house and see how much time has passed. Can you beat my 8 minutes?

Hang in there

shootingstart · January 2011

I have skipped two in the last year (DH's counsin, and a wife of his friend). I could not find it in myself to get through the day. Do what makes YOU happy. We have to deal with enough misery on the IF journey - if you think it is going to stir up sadness, you owe it to yourself to skip it. Those who know what you are going through will understand, and if they don't, to heck with 'em.

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