Success after IF

How often are you in touch w/ your DH/SO during the day?

DH & I both have desk jobs and we email all day long.  Even after 8.5 years together!  I mean, they're not love notes or anything (usually), just chatting about whatever, sending links to interesting articles, etc (yeah, I have a lot of down time. :).  If we are apart on a weekend, like when DH has a gig out of town, we text.  We're not ones to talk on the phone much, though.

My sister & her partner talk on the phone constantly.  I mean, if they're apart even for a short time - say b/c one of them is at the store - one of them will inevitably call the other.  And it's always about logistical stuff and decision-making (and they are not short phone calls). 
ETA: actually, we're often in touch when one of us is at the store too, but usually just a quick text if we think of something to add to the shopping list or whatever.

I know many people have jobs that don't allow you to be in touch much during the work day, but I'm just curious how often you communicate with your DH/SO when you're apart.  Are you happy with the amount of contact?  Do you wish for more?  Or less?  And through what medium do you communicate?

Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
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Re: How often are you in touch w/ your DH/SO during the day?

  • We both have desk jobs and are both on gchat with one another the entire work day. If we go more than an hour or so without chatting it's rare. If I'm home and he's at work, we email regularly and I probably call him at least twice. We're not usually apart other than that (we even commute together).
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  • Before having Hayden when I worked full time as a teacher we wuold text. I would text DH when I had the chance during the day and he would text me in return. It would be 2 or 3 texts a day usually.

    After having Hayden once I began only working p/t, we call. I call him when I get up in the morning and then he will call me after lunch and when he is on his way home. If I need something by some chance, I will text him usually. He will randomly text me thoughout the day if he is bored in a meeting or something.

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  • I'd say I email him at least twice a day, text him maybe once, and call him when my day is over. Not sure how all of that will go once he starts his new job. He doesn't really know what it entails yet.

    I email my mom and sister probably 3 times a day!

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  • All day.  More texts, but calls too.  He sends me pics if he sees something funny or weird.  I send him pics of the baby because he misses him.
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  • I am a SAHM and DH has a desk job but he is really busy at work so he calls me every day during lunch.  The only other times we talk are if one of us has a question for the other that can't wait or sometimes we'll pass along info via email.  Honestly, I dont have much to talk about during the day.  It is the same thing over and over and he is too busy to just chat.
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  • I'm at home, but I have a BB.  So we text or email things that we don't need an immediate response for.  We also talk on the phone - rather quick conversations - several times a day.

    Funny...the last "argument" we got into was about this.  (I don't know if you can even call it an argument.)  He knew that I was having a rather bad day a few weeks ago and he didn't call all day to check in.  Even after I left him a message.  He was just super busy at work.  But it wouldn't have killed him to call for a minute.

    Allison
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  • imageschmoodle:
    We both have desk jobs and are both on gchat with one another the entire work day. If we go more than an hour or so without chatting it's rare. If I'm home and he's at work, we email regularly and I probably call him at least twice. We're not usually apart other than that (we even commute together).
      this exactly :)  I love our commutes..its our goofy alone time.  I really missed it during maternity leave!
  • Typically, we'll talk once a day.  DH is a cop and has rotating shifts.  If he's on midnights, obviously we won't talk.  My job works with local police departments and with kids that commit crimes (and their families) so sometimes, ok, lots of times, I'll call him with a question about the law or police related question.  Often, we'll text.  Last week, he kept sending me pictures of his butt which he bruised BADLY when he fell off of the roof and landed on his butt. 
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  • we speak every single night (and we're separated!)

    during the day we never spoke unless it was an emergency.

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  • We also have desk jobs, but we communicate only through phone maybe 1-2x during the day. We usually have a reason for calling, but sometimes call just b/c. Our convos normally last btwn 10-20 min. Only occasionally we'll chat on g-chat if we are both signed on. We text a lot when one of us is out though - normally about DD. The amount of texting has def increased since she arrived.

    It's enough contact for me. I see him every night, so I can go a few hours w/no contact.

  • When DH is working out of town we call each other first thing in the morning. He calls me again at lunch and when he's leaving the office. We text in between phone calls. We talk for 10 minutes or so in the evening before going to bed. If he's working in town at his office we text during the day and he always calls to let ne know when he's on his way home. When he works from home I still send him texts if he's in his office and I'm downstairs. Lol!

    Clomid M/C 8 weeks 2/08 *IVF #1-DD born 3/09
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  • Several times a day, via phone, email, or text. He has a very busy desk job and is right down the hall from the CEO, so they are always quick convos. But I like to update him on our day : ) example: (a phone call) Oh my gosh...Paige just ate the best lunch! His response: thanks for the update. I didn't really need to know that.
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  • imageLVBlvd:
    I like to update him on our day : ) example: (a phone call) Oh my gosh...Paige just ate the best lunch! His response: thanks for the update. I didn't really need to know that.

    LOL I totally do this on my days home w/ Toodle. Last week I called to tell him that he was eating his 3rd banana of the day. Granted, my DH wasn't particularly busy, but still kinda funny.

    *** It's funny because I'm fat ***
  • My DH and I work together.  My desk is downstairs and his is upstairs.  I see him several times a day and we have a daily meeting we are in together.  We still email each other throughout the day.  It's usually about dinner that night or plans for the weekend, stuff like that.  I think it's funny we email as much as we do when we could literally just get up and go talk to each other. 

    We're both pretty busy at work though so we really don't talk very much.  

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  • I am a SHAM so I am available depending on whats going on that day. I think it depends on the day how much I talk to DH. If he has lots of meetings which he has had lately, I usually just wait for him to call me when he has a chance. His schedule is changing again now that it's the off season and DH has sort of gotten a promotion so I am not sure how this is all going to work..we do TEXT some..not usually email. 

    We are also kind of crazy in that we talk probably 3 4x a day depending on whats going on with him.  And like you it's about either things that are coming up at work, logistical stuff with Jake, his crazy Mother, Sister..ect...

    My girlfriends are always surprised by how often we chat!

  • DH is gone before any of us wake up in the morning. Normally if he doesn't hear from me by say 9am he calls. We probably email and text back and forth all day. He always calls before he leaves to come home to check and see if I needed to stop anywhere to pick up stuff.
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  • Not really that much. We both work desk jobs but we only email, text, call when we need to. We do occasionally BS back and forth but only maybe a couple of times a week. We are NOT phone talkers with anyone, let alone each other, so we only call each other if we HAVE to get in touch and can't be reached by other means, LOL.
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  • imagemarcuej:

    My DH and I work together.  My desk is downstairs and his is upstairs. 

    Neat!  What do you do?

    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

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  • Not much.  It didn't change much between me SAH or working either.  We usually talk once a day around lunch/early afternoon just to say hi and how the day is going.  I bet most conversations are less than 5 minutes.  He always calls when he is leaving work (or I call him when I leave) just to touch base and usual plan dinner.

    We'll text or email if we just have a quick question - but not too often.

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  • Dh comes home everyday for lunch so we see him then, but we don't really feel the need to constantly be in touch. He is really busy at work most of the time and sometimes we call and text each other, usually to drop a little love note or me send a pic of Maya to him. We are not big phone talkers, and usually just text. We do FB a lot to each other a lot with comments on our status though.
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  • During the work day, usually just if something interesting happens or we need to tell the other something.  I receive well over 100 emails a day at my job, so the last thing I want to do is add much more to that list!  We do see each other every night and all weekend, though; I rarely travel for work and he never does.
                                  

      
                                   
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