I made a big mistake yesterday

christyjolee · January 2011

I went to my first BMB (February) and took a peek. I haven't done that in months because I thought I had learned my lesson. I don't know what possessed me to do it.

The thing that brought me to my knees and made me so sad was that some of the women are having their babies already. So, theoretically I could have already had my baby. But, here I sit with an empty ute and a heavy heart.

I'm feeling so sad and hopeless today. Thank goodness I have you ladies to "talk" to.

Vent over

itsmegin · January 2011

(((HUGS)))

I am so sorry, I do that all the time too and I don't know why. It's like my brain is screaming at me not to, yet I still go over there, and by now almost all of my ladies have had their babies. It sucks to see where you could have been and where you should have been and feel so left behind and cheated out of what comes so easily to others.

It's not fair, it sucks, and I'm sorry you aren't still a Feb. Mom preparing to give birth next month.

LaraGaudess · January 2011

That totally sucks. Don't beat yourself up though, we all do it and get burned from time to time. That's where we come in handy! Talk away {{{HUGS}}}}

martinimomma · January 2011

Oh Buddy, I am so sorry. ((Ridiculously Squishy Buddy Hugs)) and a reminder **gentle hand smack** to stay away from the February BMB.

For you are a TTCAL Super Woman, and it is Kryptonite.

Stay strong. We (and particularly smallfry and I) are here for you!

PM or email me any time. Please. You are not alone!

itsmegin · January 2011

sandyd:
Oh Buddy, I am so sorry. ((Ridiculously Squishy Buddy Hugs)) and a reminder **gentle hand smack** to stay away from the February BMB.

For you are a TTCAL Super Woman, and it is Kryptonite.

Stay strong. We (and particularly smallfry and I) are here for you!

PM or email me any time. Please. You are not alone!

LOVE. So true!

Froggy76 · January 2011

Awww... I'm so sorry. I can't help but look at my BMB several days a week. I can see how it's only going to get more painful as time goes on.

EclairAngst · January 2011

I know. The BMB temptation is so strong, especially now (I was a Feb too). One of my FB friends had the same EDD as me and had her baby last weekend.

:::stab stab stab:::

Rawr08 · January 2011

*hugs* I am sorry you are feeling like this.

alexa08 · January 2011

Big ((hugs)). I find that even looking at the Oct.11 board is making me upset.

cflocco · January 2011

I do the same thing to myself even though I know it upsets me. I actually went on today right before reading this post. I'm so sorry you are feeling so down. I think we all have those days. {{{{Hugs}}}}

baloneydisc · January 2011

I'm sorry hun ((hugs)). I randomly check my BMB too and it just makes me so sad. I always tell myself I won't go back, but I do. Just remember we're here for you and we understand.

smalltowngirl99 · January 2011

((hugs)) I'm sorry... I dont know why we do things like this to ourselves. I hope you get your take home baby soon!

smallfry5909 · January 2011

Huge buddy (((HUGS))).

February is my birth month board too, and I lurk there all the time. I am so jealous of their big bellies and that some of them have already had their babies. Jack would have been here in 5 days. So sad

I hope we get to join another BMB really soon.

hopefulelise · January 2011

((hugs)) I hate that looking at the BMB makes us feel that way. I'm sorry, but yes, you definitely have us!

christyjolee · January 2011

Thanks so much, ladies. It truly does make me feel better to read your comments. I would never have gotten through the last several months without you all.

To my buddies - becoming buddies with you guys was one of the best things ever. You are the greatest!! I hope I am as supportive to you guys as you are to me.

Big ((hugs)) to all! Left Hug Right Hug

mandy6418 · January 2011

I'm so sorry. I sometimes find myself going to the Sept 2010 board and thinking that I should a 4 month old right now. It stings. I don't know why we do it to ourselves, but we all do it so we can't be that crazy.

Tapatio · January 2011

I'm so sorry ((big hugs)). I checked out the BMB for December a few days before my EDD. Some of those girls had already given birth and had newborn pics in their siggy. It broke my heart Broken Heart

. I'm so thankful we have this board too ((extra hugs)).

brenn · January 2011

Hugs! I don't know why we do that - I do it too. I go and look at the pictures on HDBD and think that is how I would have looked with my belly popping. WTF is wrong with me?? I told my husband I did that and he just about died; couldn't believe I would torture myself that way.

mizdiz444 · January 2011

(((hugs)))

I haven't been able to bring myself to go back to the July2011 board.

jertie · January 2011

Ugh. I'm so sorry. That is very hard to see. You can see your hand moving the mouse to the board and yelling inside your head "No!!!!", but your hand doesn't listen and "clicky". Ouch. I don't know why we do this, but we do and it hurts horribly. I hope that you're on a BMB soon!

Laurakat81 · January 2011

I'm sorry. I think we've all done that at some point. I know I have. It is hard to be there and see everyone all so happy and cheerful. It always makes me feel like such a failure.

MommyandKate · January 2011

I'm sorry. The only PG board that I like is PGAL- that one makes me feel happier, but never the BMBs and their "should I buy a crib yet? OMG baby shower drama! can I eat lunchmeat?" nonsense.

julesjb · January 2011

February was my first BMB too and I am feeling very similar emotions. I should be 36 weeks and it crushes me. Huge ((hugs)) for better tomorrows

AmorXAeterna · January 2011

::HUGS::

I avoid my bmb like the plague, it's too depressing.

HadleyS · January 2011

(((big hugs))) We are here for you during this difficult time. Many of us are guilty of looking at our former BMBs. Special thoughts and prayers for you, you have your TTCAL friends here to comfort you, so I hope you stick to boards like this for now.

psumel13 · January 2011

I did that a few days ago too and it stinks! Its like a gut punch when you realize what could have been! (((BIG HUGS))))

ChristinaCT · January 2011

Oh that is the worst!! ((HUGS!!!))) Hang in there girl. I just slapped my own hand for going over to the BMB. I hate not being in "the club", but looking back isn't helping any of us. I am sorry you had to see something that made the sadness creep back up.

nikki04vb · January 2011

I'm so sorry... I've visited my board also... very painful. You just stay here with us and look forward to your future and all the great things coming your way.

CashewsMommy · January 2011

(((hugs))) I am so sorry hun!

rachelann143 · January 2011

Although my loss was only a month ago, I don't have to go online to be reminded of everyone's healthy pregnancies. Two of my closest friends have the same EDD as I had. Torn between happiness for those close to you and pain for what could have been.

I understand if you feel drawn to check it...

kmount · January 2011

((hugs)) stay away from there in the future

KristinBost · January 2011

I'm so sorry girl. I know that I was starting to do better than right after everything, and emotionally...I have gotten worst right around this time. Everyone I was excited to be pregnant with are all having their babies, and I just keep thinking and mourning the loss of mine Trying to stay positive can be hard sometimes when we have those reminders. And when you get pregnant you think of the time you will have it and all the exciting things you will have your baby here for ...like easter, and summer vacation, etc. It's just hard knowing that time that you were once very excited for...will not be the same I feel crazy sometimes when I get so emotional, and feel like no one in my life understands. But it is so comforting to know there are other ppl out there that experience all these feelings that I am.

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