eating

hthomas02 · January 2011

so what is your stance on when the kids won't eat? typically breakfast and lunch are easy (typically) but dinner, omg. so what do you do when they refuse to eat? I feel like Finn is old enough now that he definitely has to try at least one bite of everything, but that is harder to do with Riley. and what if they won't eat anything. do you just let them go to bed without dinner? do you make them stay at the table until they eat at least one bite? or do you cave and fix them something that they will eat? like I said, we typically make them try at least one bite. but like right now I feel awful because Finn is going through a growth spurt (3 pb&j sandwiches and a whole apple and a cheesestick for lunch) so I hate him not eating but I feel like I can't cave (which I'm not). and is Riley too young for this tactic (he'll be 2 next week, and Finn is 3.5).

KT&John · January 2011

Woah..3 PB&J sandwiches..that is impressive!

We seem to go through cycles of the non-eating at supper with Cadence. I have done all of the things you mentioned even caving in at times Embarrassed

I have not tried this yet, because C is eating everything in site right now, but I was Huluing Super Nanny this weekend and she said to give them 30 minutes max. That is as long as it should take for them to eat their food. If they are not finished in that time frame, and are not eating, you pick the plate up and they wait for the next meal. I plan to do this next time we run into this issue.

Good luck!

andrea922 · January 2011

Ahhh, welcome to my life! Finlay has never eaten 3 pb&j sandwiches total in his life. Seriously.

Okay, so we never make him something else, but we generally don't give him stuff we know he won't touch either. We may do that a few times a week at dinner, but breakfast and lunch is *usually* stuff he likes, and usually at dinner there is something he likes. The problem is that usually for him means he could scarf down 2 hot dogs one day, and not touch them again for weeks. We give him a certain amount of time, he has to sit till we are all done, and then he gets down if he hasn't touched anything. He has never starved. The next day he typically makes up for it, but we are mean and have learned we can't cave to his pickiness.

MrsL1022 · January 2011

Like you breakfast and lunch are easy but dinner can be tough some nights. There have been a few nights where he won't eat anything so he has a cup of milk at bedtime and eats a bigger breakfast the next day. I never make him something in addition to what has been served and once to make a point when he didn't touch the dinner I made, I reheated it for breakfast. Since then he has been ok about eating the meal that has been put in front of him. If he doesn't want to eat at mealtime I don't force it but then there are no snacks in between.

FWIW if Finn ate 3 PB&J sandwiches, apple and cheese stick he probably has plenty of food in his system if he eats one meal like that a day so I wouldn't stress if he eats larger meals and then isn't hungry for the next meal.

DzsGirl · January 2011

Both of my boys have gone thru stages like that. Like Lauren mentioned, when they do we scale back/cut off snacks and give water to drink at dinner instead of milk. Both boys are given what we eat at dinner, and they have the option to eat it or not. I do not cook anything else, and they are expected to sit at the dinner table until everyone is finished. I was worried about Reid for a while, he would eat a GREAT breakfast, and "ok" lunch and nothing for dinner. I asked his Pedi about it and he said totally normal and if he gets hungry he will eat, so that's what we stick by.

slwprincess · January 2011

Honestly, I stick to my guns most of the time. My mom and MIL will cave and give him whatever he wants but I try really hard to only offer one meal and if he doesn't eat it... then yes, he has gone to bed hungry. And the next morning he pigs out at breakfast. In fact, just last week, he only ate dinner 1 night the whole week! I was feeling super guilty too. But then this week he has been eating so well that now I'm glad that I stuck with it. Our biggest problem is that he wants a "butt sammich" for every meal. Unfortunately, he can't have peanut butter at school so I do occasionally make him one for dinner if DH and I are having something that he doesn't eat (like last nights chili).

doctryan · January 2011

We are similar to most previous pp's. We only make one meal for both boys and they are 18 months and 3 1/2. We never hold back food because they don't like it. They get fish on their plate 1x a week. Both of them don't like it but we keep trying. I read somewhere they have to try something 10 times to develop a taste for it. On the other hand, we always make sure there is one thing they will like. Usually it is something like yogurt, fruit or applesauce, but on occassion it is fries or something like that. If we know they won't like the bulk of the meal, we hold back that item until they try one bite of everything. But we don't spend the whole time pushing them on it. We ask every 5 minutes if they want the item and then ask if they have tried their bite. If we get to the end of dinner and they haven't tried the food then all bets are off and dinner is done. DH and I have a deal that we never yell or threaten at dinner. No one gets in trouble for not eating or not trying something, but you just don't get dinner.

Our kids are good eaters. Couldn't tell you if we are responsible for any of it, so take all this with a grain of salt.

K&P414 · January 2011

I gave up the cereal fight and let them eat crap for breakfast so I tend to try and make up for it at dinner time. I try to make sure whatever I have for dinner is going to be something they'll eat and give appropriate portions that I expect them to eat. I'll encourage (aka nag) them to eat it for a few mintues but eventually I'll say "Okay, you've got 2 minutes and them I'm cleaing the table. Eat or don't eat but this is your last chance." And then stick to it. If they tell me at bedtime they are hungry or want a snack I'll give them something dumb like a saltine cracker. If they are hungry, they'll eat it!

That.Just.Happened · January 2011

KT&John:
I have not tried this yet, because C is eating everything in site right now, but I was Huluing Super Nanny this weekend and she said to give them 30 minutes max. That is as long as it should take for them to eat their food. If they are not finished in that time frame, and are not eating, you pick the plate up and they wait for the next meal. I plan to do this next time we run into this issue.
Good luck!

FWIW, this works great with dogs

I have a friend who does pretty much what everyone else is recommending, but then if they are hungry at bedtime, she will offer them a banana. And only a banana. That is their only choice. If they are really hungry they will eat it. If they are just stalling, they won't. But they know it isn't up for discussion and they aren't going to be able to get anything else out of her other than a banana, regardless of if they ate their dinner or not. She said it has really cut down on the whining & stalling at bedtime since they know from the get-go that they will only have one option.

Mrs Manners · January 2011

I try to have at least one non-new thing that I know he'll typically eat. Then I put some of whatever we are having and his plate. I never comment on his food unless he asks me a question like "What's that?". I never try to get him to eat a bite. I continue to offer things he doesn't like over and over (just by putting it on his plate without discussion). I look at it as my job to provide him something healthy to eat and it's his job to decide what and how much (if any) to eat. As a result of making it a non-issue, he's never tried to make eating one of his areas of power struggle. I also notice he'll have two big meals per day and a third where he'll eat like a bird. Oh...and I do not fix separate meals for him. The only variation I do is that I know he prefers the texture of certain veggies raw (bell peppers and carrots for example) so I serve his raw and ours cooked. Eta: he eats primal ate home like dh and I (no grains, no legumes, no sugars...only meat, veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, eggs, good fats and seafood). He just expects that because that's what he's always offered here so he never asks for junk.

maykat · January 2011

omg--Alec just ate 2 PBJs tonight, Aerin ate a whole one which is a record for us.

My kids have turned into really picky eaters and it's usually dinner that we have a battle with. I don't make them eat everything or try everthing on their plate, but if they are hungry after dinner, their only option is dinner. We do treats after dinner--Aerin never gets one because she never eats, but Alec can have a treat only if he has tried a bit of everything on his plate. He has to try the vegetables and get one swallow down--puking doesn't count:)

I don't even know why I serve veggies, neither will eat any. I do try and give them one item at meal time that I know they will eat.

mrsd0907 · January 2011

I asked our pedi about this issue because right at a year old Derek started getting really picky or just not eating, especially at lunch or dinner. He'd be starving at breakfast though and eat a ton. The pedi said what everyone else has, that they'll eat when they're hungry and if he's eating enough the rest of the day he was fine. We try to get him to eat at each meal, at least some veggies and fruits, but if he doesn't eat then he doesn't get another option. We're having issues with meat right now because he doesn't seem to like anything but chicken nuggets but we still try everything else every time we have it and if he doesn't eat it then we try every few minutes anyway but don't force him to eat it. I'd say if they're not eating what you're offering, just let them go if they're eating ok the rest of the day.

Pecswife · January 2011

Pretty much my Pedi says the same thing. They get what they need but keep offering the food. We grew up in an era where our parents made us eat everything off our plate. They made us feel guilty if we didn't ... my moms line "There are kids starving out there and you are here wasting food!". My MIL was the same way with her boys.. but worse. She made them eat it even if they hated the stuff.

Now docs say we shouldn't force our kids... that this leads to obesity by them thinking that they need to eat everything that is in front of them.

I beat my head against the wall sometimes. Sometimes I give them colored plastic forks and spoons and they love that and want to eat. Sometimes Nkosi makes a game out of eating. Sometimes despite it all, they dont eat their food and when they go bed and cry that they are hungry they get a slice of bread. Simple.

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