Community› The Bump Message Boards› TTC After a Loss
TTC After a Loss
New Discussion

disagreement about when to TTC Again?

Jered&GenaJered&Gena member
in TTC After a Loss

Any one else disagreeing with the hubby about when to try again?

I waited a year and a half because my  hubby wouldnt let us try, we M/C 2 weeks ago now he wants to wait a year?!

Im very hurt and angry over this.

Any one else going through the same thing?

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: disagreement about when to TTC Again?

  • tiffany119tiffany119 member
    Does he say why he wants to wait another year? I'm sorry you're going through this.. I hope you two can come to a mutual timeframe!
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Jered&GenaJered&Gena member
    The economy! and the strengthen out marriage, but the bigest problem in our marriage is this! I dont get it!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • PachitaPachita member

    It took a while to convince hubby to TTC.  We've been married for almost 4 years and he kept making excuses, like he wanted to get tenure first from his job among other reasons.  Thankfully, a year later, he has come around.  Have you  spoken to him about the reason(s) why he wants to wait a year?  Maybe he's scared and just needs to be reassured and informed.

    GL!

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cfe4e" alt=" BabyFetus Ticker" border="0"  /></a>


    Report Reply
  • GaberinosGaberinos
    I am sorry your DH is being stubborn. I know that when DH and I first got married he was really wanting to wait, and then we got a surprise pregnancy. After the shock wore off he was very excited and was more willing to try again after the loss. Now he is really wanting to be a Daddy and gets excited when there is even the remote possibly that I could be pregnant (although it hasn't came true for us yet). I am sure your DH could just be a little worried that something may go wrong or have some anxiety he is just trying to cover up. I would just talk to him and find out his reasons for wanting to wait. Good luck!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • tiffany119tiffany119 member

    There will never be a "right time" to TTC..something will always come up, something will always fail to be perfect. The right time comes when you both know you want to be parents. Everything else will fall into place as long as we're not foolish with our decisions (ie finances).

    Best of luck to you, I really hope you find peace with whatever decision you make. Big hugs

    Report Reply
  • LilMaggsLilMaggs member
    imageSweetTurnip:

    Sort of. We had a surprise BFP about a year or so before our planned "start talking about TTC" time. After we had our M/C, I was really hoping we could start trying then and DH was not ready. We waited (planned on waiting a year from our M/C) and we ended up deciding a couple months early that we were both ready last month. It was SO hard to wait, but looking back I'm (mostly) glad we did. The difference in DH's attitude and readiness is so distinct! It makes me really happy to see him so excited now, and it wouldn't have been like that before.

    I hope you guys can keep talking about it and come to a decision that makes you both happy. I'm sorry that you're even in this situation.

    I like this post for a lot of reasons.  As hard as it is to wait, if he's not ready, you're not ready. You two are in this together, and need to be on the same page.  If you feel this is the biggest problem in your marriage, and your hubby is wanting to work on your marriage, pushing him into something he's not ready for will only add to the stress.  Have you talked to him about what he's concerned about with your marriage?  Maybe couples counseling would help you work through those issues faster so you can get back to TTC quicker. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • twistedmetaltwistedmetal
    my husband was definitely not into the idea of starting ttc, but with my medical history, i can usually convince him to do what i want.  besides, i told him its not always easy.
    image image image Gif Created on Make A Gif
    M/C 10wk 3d EDD: 2011 march 4 C/P EDD: 2011 september 11
    Report Reply
  • asltrouble94asltrouble94
    My DH was making excuses after our m/c about when to try or even to try again.  After I got really upset, he finally decided to talk.  It ended up he was scared that something would happen to me and he didn't want to go throught that pain again.  Obviously we're ttcal.
    #1 Born 10/26/01 - Lindsey Nichole #2 Born 7/14/05 - Kylie Marie #3 BFP 6/16/10, u/s 8/17/10 @ 13 wks 1d, measured 7 wks, 5 d D&E 8/19/10 #4 BFP 12/19/10 - CP 12/25/10 #5 BFP 4/25/11 - Please stick Little One! TTCAL buddies with luckymrs., mandy6418, olivia_eve (BFP), AshB62, Ann003, Ryan&Kristin062009 (BFP), Shaka114, and Angeleyes5604. BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • opalloveropallover

    First, I am so sorry for your losses. (((hugs)))

    Could it be that he's taking this harder than you expected? Maybe he is truely torn up about your loss? It sounds like he is very empathetic. Which is good, considering the other side is not so fun. My cousin had several m/c and her husband was less than helpful [the day of her d&c she asked him to hold her and he told her no, he was going to watch t.v. - sad.]

    I can't tell you how to feel but you might have a few more conversations with him. Maybe ask him some probing questions about why he is frightened or wants to wait. Then also bring up why you are excited to move forward?

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope peace comes soon to your heart.

    Report Reply
  • opalloveropallover
    imageben&tiffanyneff:

    There will never be a "right time" to TTC..something will always come up, something will always fail to be perfect. The right time comes when you both know you want to be parents. Everything else will fall into place as long as we're not foolish with our decisions (ie finances).

    Best of luck to you, I really hope you find peace with whatever decision you make. Big hugs

    This also! I had a friend tell me this which totally put it in a different light for me as I was scared to start the whole process.

    Report Reply
  • inlovewithBinlovewithB

    imageJered&Gena:
    The economy! and the strengthen out marriage, but the bigest problem in our marriage is this! I dont get it!

    IMHO: If YH thinks that you need to strengthen your marriage it may be worth getting a little deeper. If he is feeling underlying issues TTC will only make those worse. Would he consider seeing a counselor to try and make sure you are both on the same page? Sometimes it helps to have someone else "moderate" the conversation. GL! 

    June 2010-Lap
    b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
    b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
    IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
    b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome :)

    Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
    Homestudy 7/19/2011
    IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
    We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
    IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frostiesLilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • jertiejertie member
    When we got married I was the one that didn't want children.  We waited for 4 years before trying and we were successful right away.  However, after our loss, we were told to wait 2 cycles before TTC - at which point DH sort of backed off and was really unsure about going through all of that again.  We finally sat down, talked it out and we picked a date that worked for both of us.  I would recommend maybe sitting down with your H and do the same.  Even if you don't pick a specific date, maybe set a date in the future to talk about it again.  This helps, especially when emotions are pretty raw still.  GL!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Siggy Warning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"