Babies: 3 - 6 Months

CIO night 1

First off, I'm not looking for criticism. I never thought I'd try CIO, but it's gotten to the point where DS is waking up 7 or 8 times a night and we're exhausted.

How long did your DC cry for the 1st night? We're going on 40 mins and it's breaking my heart to hear him cry. I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. I'm starting to feel like a bad mom and like I should just give it up. 

When would you call it quits? I keep reading about babies that it only took 20-45 mins, but I we've already surpassed the 20 min mark and I don't forsee him stopping at 45.

What to do?

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Re: CIO night 1

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  • Are you doing straight CIO or Ferberizing?  You might try Ferber...it's a bit gentler than just CIO.  You can google it real quick and adapt it to make it work for you. 
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  • I really think you should just go in there. 20 mins is too long to begin with, but 40? I'm sure he probably has a headache and could use some soothing.
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  • Yeah I would try the Ferber method.

     

    Good luck! 40 minutes is a long time.

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  • We dont CIO but from what I understand youre supposed to do small spurts of time 5 min then 7 min and lengthen it  to longer time periods and only to interfere with their self comforting if they are hysterical or continue to cry past whatever time you have decided is acceptable. Evie sometimes startles awake and cries when I check on her her eyes are still closed and if I turnher seahorse back on she is back out in 5 min or so GL
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  • I have heard that people start with 3, 5, 10, etc. minute increments. 40 mins sounds extremely too long to me. If he is still going at it, it sounds like he is just not ready.
  • Have you gone in and tried to settle him at all? If you haven't yet he might be too upset to calm down now. CIO isn't for me, and if you are crying then I don't think it's for you either. My LO wakes about 7 times a night too, it's tough. I read in "the no cry sleep solution" somebabies will cry for 2 hours before they actually get soo tired they can't cry anymore and fall asleep.

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  • I am not a CIO person, but think of it this way... if I cried for 40 min I'd feel like crap & have a giant headache & a swollen face.  Same for him, KWIM?

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  • 40 minutes is a little long IMO. I would probably have gone to him after 15. Like PP said, I'm sure he has a major headache and needs some love from his mama.
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  • Go google Ferber and try it that way instead. That's too long.
  • 40 mis is way to long to start. He def needs to be soothed. 
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  • We did Ferber and it took up to the 20th minute of soothing on the first night...but that's not straight crying the whole time. As PP's have said, get him, cuddle and try Ferber next time!
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  • He fell asleep at the 50 min mark. I did go in and comfort him (kiss, belly rub, i love you, seahorse), but didn't do 5 min increments because that just upsets him more. We decided to do the Weissbluth method instead of Ferber for that reason.

    I totally hear you guys that are opposed to it, that was me until recently when I started to research. I just hope that tomorrow night doesn't take as long.

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  • I did CIO with DS and it worked like a charm.  But I think he only cried for like 20 minutes for 3 nights and has slept from 7-7 for 2 years now!  I'm a firm believer in CIO but I guess 40 minutes is a bit long.  IMO, don't give up.  Also, when he cried I would go in at 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, 15 minutes, etc. I'd rub his back, calm him down and then walk out.  That way he knew he wasn't abandoned but also that I wasn't picking him up or anything.  Good luck!
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  • imageanmorgan32:

    He fell asleep at the 50 min mark. I did go in and comfort him (kiss, belly rub, i love you, seahorse), but didn't do 5 min increments because that just upsets him more. We decided to do the Weissbluth method instead of Ferber for that reason.

    I totally hear you guys that are opposed to it, that was me until recently when I started to research. I just hope that tomorrow night doesn't take as long.

    We did CIO with DS and he was the same way, going in just made him more pissed and made him cry harder.  I never wanted to do the extinction CIO but that's what worked for him.  The 2nd night was dramatically better and by the 4th night no noise from him.  He slept 7-7 from then on out.  He is still an awesome sleeper.  We will do some form with DD in a few weeks.  Its not for everyone, but it works.

  • I have done ferber with my 2 and just recently with ds#2 who is 4 months old. Short term pain long term gain for your whole family. It gets easier everyday. Just remember to be consistent. It is all about understanding sleep patterns and sleep associations.

     Ps...You are not doing anything wrong and you are a great mom I sure ;) Good luck!

     

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