My dd is dating
She told me the other morning
DD: mom, I have these pictures in my head. I always see Justin's face
Me: Who's Justin
DD: Oh, this boy I'm dating
Me: (shocked face) Is he in your class? what do you do when your 'dating'
DD: oh, play, talk about stuff, like what we're having for dinner. I want to kiss him
Me: Are you sure you want to kiss Justin?
DD: don't worry mom, I'm not gonna get cooties, I'm only gonna kiss him on the cheek.
lol well the next day she told me he broke up with her b/c he said he didn't love her anymore. Then she said she wanted to wear a dress so that she could look pretty to get a new boyfriend. She just turned 6 and is in kindergarten. I was absolutely boy crazy growing up but I'm pretty sure I started late elementary/ early middle school. Did your kids do this early on or are you going through this now? I feel like I don't have any profound words to tell her, I just listen to her.
Re: My dd is dating
Your post is very cute.
In one sense, I don't think you have anything to worry about. She's not "dating" and she's not "boy crazy." She's experimenting with the idea of boys and girls and gender identity. She's experimenting with how to relate to different people. Trying to understand this stuff is totally normal for kids this age.
On the other hand, I think it's a good time to emphasize that there are lots of ways besides wearing pretty dresses and looking nice to get boys (or other little girls, for that matter) to like you. You can be a nice, kind person. You can be a good friend. You can be smart. You can be a fun playmate, etc. As the mom of a girl, one thing I want my daughter to know is that that kind of boy (or later, man) who is going to be a good boyfriend is going to like her for more than her looks.
Also, it would probably be a good time to reinforce the idea of keeping self to self, that only mom and the doctor should see or touch your privates, and that kissing is really an activity that people do in private -- not in school or on the playground.
FWIW, my son had two different "girlfriends" who were in his class at preschool when he was 5. They were just the two girls he liked the most out of the class. He liked them because they were the only two girls who were interested in Pokemon. So far in kindergarten, he does have on girl in his "inner circle" of close friends, but he's never referred to her as his "girlfriend." We just emphasized the importance of being a good person and a good friend and congratulated him for being able to play with both boys and girls at school.
Yes he is real. She pointed him out in the class picture.
My guess is that you're probably not the only person who is talking about this subject with her. She may have a friend at school who thinks it's "cool" to have a boyfriend, or to "chase boys and kiss them." I had a friend who had two much older sisters when I was in elementary school. A lot of wacky stuff about boys and sex got passed along to me through my friend from her older sisters. I'm sure my parents were horrified that I was being introduced to concepts like "french kissing" and "hitting a homerun" at age 6 by this kind of neighborhood lore.
Still, at this age, you and her dad are going to be the biggest influences on her. If you say that it's nice to have good friends who are both boys and girls, and that it's more important to be a good person on the inside than a pretty person on the outside, she'll hear that loud and clear, as long as you're living that message and not just giving lip service to it.
Yes, it's shocking what they are already learning just in kindergarten. My son came home with a "shared" girlfriend between him and his best buddy in kindergarten.
This year, in 1st grade, he realizes that it's not really appropriate to have a girlfriend so young and it's something that can wait until the future. That's what his teacher explained to the class.
That's comforting! I'm hoping that is what this is. I can deal with it in a few years but not quite yet.
That's cute that she thought she was dating. My daughter is in 3rd grade and has no interest in dating. I volunteer in the classroom and haven't seen any of the kids act like they liked each other. The girls all hang out together. The boys all hang out together. They interact... but, their interests are different.
I do remember, back in 1st grade, one of the moms talking about her daughter writing "Love notes" to a boy. The boy wrote them to her daughter, too. She seemed to encourage it. Hmm, don't know what happened.... they'll have to wait a few more years to get married.
Newlyweds since 2007