Three under two??? omg-suprise bfp

daisybride78 · January 2011

Hi ladies. So to say that I have been freaking out all week is an understatement. Last week I was thinking that my period was pretty late, but then couldn't really remember when my last period was (December and January were insanely crazy between christmas and the boys' first bday). I joked to my DH that I might be pregnant, but that I was sure that I probably wasn't because for heaven's sake, I'm INFERTILE! I did four IUI's and an IVF and tried for over a year to get pregnant on my own unsucessfully. And guess how many times DH and I had sex last month? ONCE! Once frickin time. So, I took a pregnancy test on Friday night and two lines showed up so incredibly fast. I totally freaked. I mean, DH and I have always wanted another child, but not for awhile. And I certainly never thought I would have 3 under 2. I have my first OB appointment tomorrow morning, but I talked to the nurse on Monday and she estimates that I am about 8 weeks along. I feel so dumb that I went so long without thinking that I might be pregnant.

I am slowly coming to terms with all of this, but I just have this heavy feeling of guilt that I am not going to be able to give my boys enough attention. I mean, they will only be 20 months when this baby comes! And I was so sick for the first trimester and the beginning of the second trimester last time and I don't want to be sick and not be able to fully be there for Henry and Joey. Also, our financial situation is not the greatest right now. I just keep thinking how much more money we're going to have to spend. We were going to buy a minivan next year, but we were going to save for another whole year. Now we'll need one before we know it!

I know we are blessed. And I know that this happens all the time. I just never thought it would happen to us. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Please no flames. I know there are so many women out there who would kill for a surprise bfp. I am not taking it for granted. I am just scared. Anyone out there with 3 under two, or with one on the way and twins? Any advice? Am I destined to forever have mommy guilt?

Thanks ladies!

pea-kay · January 2011

awww, congrats! if it makes you feel any better, my friend with quads (through IVF) got pg with a surprise baby and for a few months had FIVE under two. hee hee!

you can do it!

VaFirecracker · January 2011

My son just turned 2 Jan 13th. My girls are 6 weeks old. I have no advice, I'm just here to commiserate. I was so worried about my son, especially because I was sick for most of my pregnancy, but he has been so resilient. I really think he has been adjusting well. Anyway, just wanted you to know you aren't alone!

BelleBaby · January 2011

Freak out as much as you'd like. I have two 20 month olds right now and I can't imagine throwing a newborn into the mix. Plus, those 20 month olds were IVF babies, so I DREAM about a surprise BFP.

The initial shock will wear off and you'll figure things out. I've seen several moms on these boards with 3u2, so it's doable.

Congrats. This is a wonderful thing. And your boys will love being big brothers.

hopeful34 · January 2011

OMG that is my biggest fear right now. I went on BC but i have horrible headaches and will prob come of it. BUT i will crap if i did get pregnant right now. I'm 37 so i guess now is as good a time as any lol but OMG i just don't know what i'd do.

it's so funny...i spent 5 yrs trying to get pregnant with 6 iui's and 2 ivf's and nothing...now i'm actually worried about getting pregnant. ugh! A vicious cycle.

Congrats to you though. i'm sure after a while the shock will wear off and you'll be thinking "I guess my body works afterall!!!" lol...Congrats

volgirl123 · January 2011

I had 3U2 until December. It's a ton of work and still is but it's getting to be so much fun to watch the interactions between all of them. It's going to be a wild ride bit I love having them so close. You will too!

clarku2000 · January 2011

Wow, that's a big shock! After a little bit of time to adjust, I'm sure you'll be able to enjoy it. On the bright side, maybe you'll pass all the sickness--you're almost through the 1st trimester

google123 · January 2011

Congratulations on the bfp! I think it's a wonderful positive story to hear that women can get pregnant naturally even if they were 'infertile'.

Rangergal9 · January 2011

I was so happy when I got my BFP with the twins, but then totally freaked out when I found out it was twins! I was going to have 3 under 2! Granted you are the opposite of me having the twins first, but it has been manageable. I don't know how different it would be with two toddlers and only one baby as I am used to one toddler and two babies. I am sure you will do fine. Hopefully your twins will be able to play together and keep one another occupied while you spend time with the baby. COngrats and you'll be fine!

laceymb · January 2011

Congratulations! You will figure it all out. And as for the guilt you feel about adding another and not having enough time for your boys, I think that is something every mother goes through when they add another child to the family. I think you will find though that while it might be difficult at times they will love having a little brother or sister.

srh08.05.06 · January 2011

I have no advice, but just wanted to say I would totally feel the same way if I got a surprise bfp. I'm sure as time passes, you will have time to get past the worrying and start getting more and more excited for another LO. Although this came sooner than you expected, I guess you can look on the bright side that you won't have to go through IF treatments again to get your third And once you pass some of the hard phases, I'm sure it will be nice to have them close in age. Congrats!

janjag · January 2011

Congrats again!! It has really taken me a long time to process adding a "surpise" baby after being so infertile. Just give yourself time. At least you were planning on the minivan. We are going to try using our Volvo wagon with 3 across (I think I have an irrational love for that car). Plus our other car just had to be replaced, so I'm trying to avoid the increased expense.

CL is a very good friend these days

Guilt is getting a tiny bit less as time goes on. Maybe part of it is letting go of seeing them as my babies and letting them grow up more and take on a BIG sis roll. I make an effort to see friends with small babies now. lol. I want practice holding them while my girls are around, and to see how they react to baby. There WILL be some interesting moments, I'm sure.

MamaCrystal · January 2011

Congratulations! You'll be okay : )

Temp6313048411121614 · January 2011

Congrats! Anyone that flames you can kiss my butt, I would assume there'd be a HUGE shock and adjustment period. Not like you said you didn't want this surprise baby and were going to terminate. It's awesome that you're going to have another baby so close to your twins age. I didn't have 3 under 2, DS1 was 27m when our twins were born. He loves his brothers so much and I'm sure your boys will love their new brother/sister just as much. FYI, you WILL be taking attention away from your twins, but they're so small they'll never remember, they'll only remember that they had a sibling and wont' remember how anything was before that. You've already gone through the hard twin pg, now you can experience a singleton pg can be (or maybe it's twins again Stick out tongue

).

atc282 · January 2011

Congrats!!! I know it's shocking but it will all work out great and vibes you have an easy, breezy pg! As others posted, this gives hope to those who are labeled infertile.

Your guys will make awesome big brothers and I wish you only the best!! Hope you have zero morning sickness!!

#6 · January 2011

First of all Congrats! Secondly, its a guge shock. You have the right to feel any way you want. Shocked, scared, guilty....once you are holding that sweet baby in your arms it goes away. Mostly because you are so busy with 3 little ones, but also because you are so in love you just make it work. I had 3 under 13 MONTNS when my girls were born. Landon was still rear facing, not walking, and had just turned 1 11days before my csection. He started walking the week we were in the hospital so we came home to a newly toddleling 1yr old with two tiny babies. It was ummm....interesting for the first few weeks but nothing horrible. Dont feel guilty. Your boys will grow up never remembering a day without their younger sibling. They will also have each other to play with while you are busy with the baby. It will be an adjustment but you will do awesome!

nolachick11 · January 2011

Don't have any advice, but wanted to say Congrats!!

MrsAmyB · January 2011

Congratulations! I know it can be a huge shock, but I found that working through the logistics slowly, you will find a way to make it all work.

We only had sex ONCE in the month of October and I concieved triplets...with MFI and on our own. I know your situation is a little different than mine though.

I felt the same about giving attention. Some days I don't do so well and she lets me know. It just gives me a kick in the pants to do better. I can say I wasn't sick at all with a singleton but REALLY sick with triplets (unknowingly), so you may get lucky!

We, too, are still looking at the fincancial aspects of this many kids. Mommies will always have guilt, but I guarantee that one day it will all click and you will know it was meant to be. For me, it was when we try to have "Megan day" with my oldest and she gets so upset that he babies aren't with us. She told us "But mommy, THEY are my family!" Aww.

browneyedgrl4282 · January 2011

Congrats! My little guy was born 2 weeks after my twins turned 1!!! It really isn't bad at alll! I really believe once you can handle two at once, adding to it is a walk in the park. We started with 2 and have do not know any better!

robinsokj · January 2011

Congrats!

I'm going to go hide my vagina now.

daisybride78 · January 2011

robinsokj:
Congrats!
I'm going to go hide my vagina now.

LOL! You're too funny!

Thanks for all the congrats and advice ladies. I had my first u/s this morning and everything looks great. Looks like I am about 7 weeks and 3 days along. Everyday I have been more rational about it. I know I can do it! And, if its a girl, how awesome will it be for her to have 2 big brothers so close in age!

LakeGenevaBride · January 2011

MrsAmyB:
We only had sex ONCE in the month of October and I concieved triplets...with MFI and on our own.

I think what she is trying to say is maybe you conceived triplets

Joking aside, congratulations. I would love a surprise BFP, but if it actually happened I would probably be freaking out too (and my DH would wonder who the father is, hee hee hee).

amanda31H · January 2011

Congratulations!!! I'd be freaking out too, don't worry. Remember that every pregnancy is different, so your body may take this one like a champ! Big Smile

togagirl · January 2011

I was there too! IVF and infertile and then SURPRISE. I swear we only did it once that month and it was because it was DH's birthday! My twins were only 15 months when Brendan was born.

I won't lie, it is tough. But it is also wonderful. And you find a way to make it all work (even financially). And the most amazing part is the different relationship I have with each of my kids. I wouldn't trade it for the world!

My best advice is just to get the older kids on as strict a schedule as you can before the baby comes. This makes it so much easier to fit a new one it to the mix and for people to come help you.

Feel free to e-mail me at brigette06 at hotmail if you need some advice.

Want a personalized experience?

Three under two??? omg-suprise bfp

Re: Three under two??? omg-suprise bfp

Choose Another Board

Search Boards