Community› The Bump Message Boards› Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Discussion

No really, I am fine. (vent because my friends think i am a jerk)

KaLa2011KaLa2011
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Dear Co-Workers,

Every time you look at me with sad eyes and ask me if I am ok, I have to think about it. Please Stop. I appreciate your concern, but I am trying to make work a "safe place" where I DON'T have to think about it. So when I say "Yeah, I am ok" don't say "Are you sure?" or "Really?" because you don't want to know the real answer. I am NOT fine, I am destroyed on the inside and my brain keeps asking questions I will NEVER have an answer for, like "what could I have done different?" or "will i ever be able to have children?"  or "maybe I shouldn't have had that cup of coffee that morning"......

And friends, please understand that me saying my boss is pissing me off does not make me a bad person, I understand they are concerned, but I highly doubt if the tables were turned you would like to have to run to the bathroom crying a couple times a day at work because people are asking questions.

 

 

Love,

Kala.

 

(p.s-i had to put this somewhere so i don't flip out at work. thank you for your understanding. i think i am in the anger part of things today and i don't wanna blow up on anyone irl.) 

 

 

Report Reply to Post

Re: No really, I am fine. (vent because my friends think i am a jerk)

  • jr63_2020jr63_2020 member
    Sending you hugs. I know I've wondered about the same things you posted about (in my case, I took Advil). People just don't. Get. It.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • mom22labsmom22labs member
    I had the same exact feelings and questions.  You are in my T&P's today.
    BFP #1 10/05/10 (EDD 6/10/11) , natural m/c 11/24/10 BFP #2 1/20/12 (EDD 9/20/12) , natural m/c 3/3/12 BFP #3 10/09/12 (EDD 6/20/12), hoping third times a charm
    Report Reply
  • queenalexandraqueenalexandra
    Yo hit the nail on the head. I feel EXACTLY the same way. I find that this type of inquiry is more about the asker feeling like they will look uncaring if they don't approach us with the sympathetic look and questions about how we are doing. We aren't friends, so do they REALLY care how we feel?  Probably just enough to momentarily pity us, but not enough to occupy their thoughts all that much. I haven't gone back to work since last Thursday.  I'm absolutely dreading this. My office is choc full of people who feel important when they can somehow insert themselves into other people's tragedies. Mental note to self: in the future just be cheerful and kind to a co-worker who has recently experienced a loss. No questions necessary.
    Report Reply
  • ziggy23213ziggy23213 member
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. ((((Hugs)))) Do you have anyone at work you're closer to who you could ask to talk to everyone else about how hurtful it is?
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    BabyFruit Ticker

    4 losses: Natural m/c 8w 1/11, CP 12/11, CP 3/12, and our perfectly healthy baby girl Charlotte Grace, missed M/C 5/31/12 at 8w5d
    DX: Endo, heterozygous MTHFR, low progesterone
    Surprise unmedicated BFP 9/21/12!! Beta #1 9/22 (10 DPO) 46 Beta #2 9/24 (12 DPO) 226! Heartbeat 136 bpm at 7w! It's a BOY!  Theodore Joshua born 5/23/13 at 7:36am via c/s, 7lb13oz, 19.25in
    TTC#2 5/14, BFP 8/15/14!  Beta #1 16 (11 DPO), Beta #2 71 (14 DPO) Beta #3 164 (16 DPO) Beta #4 633 (21 DPO) Beta #5 1487 (23 DPO) Heartbeat 121 bpm at 6w6d!  EDD 4/25/15
    Report Reply
  • MegMeg0913MegMeg0913 member

    ~big hugs~

    Too many people don't understand that how hurtful the questions can be, but I am glad that you shared.  I totally understand how irritating this can be.

    I hope your day picks up soon! 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • KaLa2011KaLa2011

    my immediate supervisor (who is aware of what happened) informed me (i hadn't seen her since this all happened) that she may be pg.

    stfu. not quite sure why she decided this was a good time, but okkkkkkaaayy.

     thank god i am off today. have my f/u appointment, not even sure what to expect from it, hopefully no more u/s. i don't wanna have to see it.

     

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"