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School-Aged Children
aries21
member
Are your kids close in age? What was the most difficult part ?
aries21
member
a lot of people recommend having one kid after another so they have a small age difference.. about 1-2 years or so. it seems so difficult but i only know the baby stage.. does it get more difficult as they get older? i know its financially a lot but what about the rest? thanks!
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Re: Are your kids close in age? What was the most difficult part ?
My kids are 2 yrs 2 mos apart (they are 5 and 7). It was tough for the first two-ish years, not going to lie. It felt like a three ring circus around here. At this age, the biggest challenge is that they fuel each other. It is hard getting out the door in the morning because the two of them just dink around and mess with each other the whole time that nothing really gets accomplished. They are really close but my oldest is exceptionally intelligent (book smart type and not that my little one isn't just in a way different way) and is a very well liked kid where as my little one is a little devilish and kind of a comedian. Since they are both boys and so close together, my youngest got a lot of "Oh you're Logan's little brother" and the expectation that he was going to be just like him. They are now in different schools and I love the schools they are both in. They get to be themselves which has been awesome. My youngest has done so well not being in his brother's shadow. Oh and they fight ALL. THE. TIME. I need referee stripes. But the also have a relationship that is closer than I will ever have with either of them. It is remarkable how close they are.
Gawd... I just realized I will have two kids in college at the same time for two years minimum. EEEEKKKK. That's gonna be expensive.
I had 3 kids in 3 years/5 days.
its was hard when they were little, but I don't really remember thinking "this is hard"...you just do it...then it gets easier and you think "how did I ever: carry 2 kids at the same time, push a double stroller and carry one kid, deal with sleepless nights when an older one was sick and the baby got up 3 times" etc, etc. You just do it because you have to and you dont' really think about it.
As far as college, we are saving, so it wouldn't matter if they were 15 months apart or 15 years apart....they each will have however much we are saving for them and we will help as much as possible. And as far as moving day...I can't see how that would be an issue either....one one would be the youngest going to college the first time, right? So that would be the one we help. The rest are big enough that they don't need mommy and daddy there. My parents never helped me, not even the first day I started college.
My ONLY concern is with my girls being so close...15 months apart. You know how they say everyone is good at something...well its not so evenly distributed between my girls....and I'm not trying to sound braggy when saying this. My older one is pretty. She has this gorgeous shade of red hair that isn't orange or strawberry, its more auburn. Combined with the biggest pale blue eyes. She gets comments OFTEN about her looks....mostly her hair and eyes. She will never be hurting in the looks department....but looks are.....JUST looks...My middle DD is cute, but nothing stand outish...in fact she went through a phase for a good 2 years where she hated her hair and wouldn't let me brush it because she realized how she NEVER gets comments on her hair and her sis does. BUT--middle DD has the athletics AND smarts. She reads at the same level as her older sister, is doing math on the same level...they could literally be in the same grade. Plus she's just SUPER good at the athletics. My oldest can see this and realizes that she isn't as smart as her sister (and she's NOT dumb...at all) Anyways, I can just see this will lead to some jealousy and resentment in the teenage years..I know how girls can be! So I worry about it...often. But hopefully they will both know that I love them equally and that they are happy with who they are.
I initially wanted my kids about 3 years apart, but they're actually almost exactly 4 years apart. I know that a 2 year spread is incredibly popular, but I really did not want to have a new baby right when my first child was at a pretty difficult stage.
I have to say that I loved the 4 year spread. Here are my thoughts:
Pros: lots of one on one time with both kids when they're toddlers/preschoolers, not so far apart that they can't play when they're a bit older, never 2 in diapers, each kid has separate friends and interests and they can support each other with little competition.
Cons (compared to 2 year gap): lengthens the time when you have a child below preschool age, kids don't really become playmates until the youngest is 3 or 4, kids are in different stages of life for most of their childhood.
Really, you'll find the bright side in whatever plan you choose. Most people I talk to don't spend a lot of time regretting their family planning!