Dh's job SUCKS!

oct92004bride · January 2011

He works on average 80 or more hours a week. He makes fairly good money but doesn't get overtime and has a crappy quality of life! I also work full time too but my hours aren't bad- I'm a teacher. He didn't see DD yesterday he left before she was awake and home after she was asleep. He went in to work today again before she was awake and is staying at work tonight because of the big snow storm that is coming. So that's 3 days he won't see her-WTH!

That's 3 days with no help for me either. He is supposed to have an interview next week for a new job that would mean less hours but also a paycut. At this point I don't even care about the paycut. I am so tired of doing everything myself. He said he would quite and stay home with DD and we could sell our house and move. Um no, we just moved here 2 years ago and I like it but I hate him working all these freakin hours! I know I should be happy he even has a job and doesn't have to work on weekends I just feel bad for DD he doesn't see him often during the week. She's only little once. Ugh and to think I want another, I should have my head examined. Any thoughts on how to deal or cope with this? I just don't see this ever changing but I know it could always be worse. Thanks for letting me vent

Kristin&Frank · January 2011

If you ask me, that amount of stress isn't worth anything.

LisaMarisa · January 2011

I feel your pain. My DH only sees DS for an hour or less a day and there are definitely days when he doesnt see him at all. I am a SAHM so I really need the help by the end of the day and it can be really frustrating and exhausting - especially with another baby on the way! But the job he has pays well, he gets a big bonus every year and there is lots of room for him to grow so getting a new job is not an option. It is almost an hour away so we are moving closer to cut his commute in half which should give him a little more time at home. Unfortunately, this is just how it has to be for us to live comfortably.

My DH offers to be a SAHD all the time too! Luckily, I am able to say that I would never be able to find a job where I would make as much money as he does so it's not an option.

oct92004bride · January 2011

Yeah I know if he stayed home and I worked I would resent that. I also make a lot less so it wouldn't make sense,

emmyloustu · January 2011

We have so been in your shoes and I HATED it. Sure, I liked the $$$ and the perks, but the stress was unreal. When Eliza was born, DH made the decision that it wasn't worth it anymore. We significantly downsized our lifestyle, left maryland and moved back to our hometown and he took a job that has predictable hours (40-50 per week, plus 3 weeks vacay which was UNHEARD of in his last job) and a solid salary but not nearly the income potential he had. We have never been happier. We were just saying last night he wouldn't trade being home for dinner every night for anything - even the Superbowl Trip that his old colleagues are gearing up for, on the company! I suspect that one stings a little in reality though

MonkeysGirl05 · January 2011

I feel your pain. My DH travels A LOT for work. In fact, he is out of town M-F this week. I also work full time. I'm torn because he does bring home a nice paycheck and gets good benifits. I know he doesn't like being away from us so often, but sometimes I feel like he could do a better job controlling the amout of time he spends on the road. I don't want to make him feel worse when he travels, but I get tired of doing everything by myself. In preparation for this week, I cooked all our dinners for the week on Sunday. That is a big time saver. I also just let some things go when he isn't home; the biggest thing is I just don't pick up around the house. I leave that for the weekends when DH is around to help. We're also talking about trying for #2 and I'll admit to being hesitant because I don't know if I can do it all by myself with 2 kids. Henry and I have our little schedule that works for us, but throwing an infant into the mix would make my life chaotic.

charmcitygirl · January 2011

It sounds like your DH and my DH are living similar lives. Its hard to be at home with Jacob all day - from about 8am until the end of the day. There are plenty of days that DH only sees Jacob for a bit in the morning (while he's getting ready for work) and then not until the next morning. And he's been working weekends too!

I do get resentful sometimes of him not being around a lot. And while I like the money, I would like for some kind of a compromise between working all the time and making loads of money and making less money and being at home a bit more.

Its so sad. DH is traveling right now (I know you know that) and Jacob was yelling "Dada" from his crib this morning. When I went in there and told him that Dada wasn't here, he was definitely disappointed. He better be able to get home tonight! He has a job interview tomorrow morning!

oct92004bride · January 2011

Allison good luck, hope he gets the job

I just feel like he (my dh) should draw the line somewhere. His company so takes advantage of people and I don't know why he puts up with it? There is no way in h$%# I would work for a company like that! I know he doesn't like being at work so long either I just wish he would try harder at finding something else or tell them if he doesn't cut his hours back he's leaving. I don't stay home, we don't have a fancy house or car, he does get 3 weeks vacation, he takes one week after christmas and the other 2 we travel to nearby states nothing fancy again. He does have a company car and they pay for his cell phone but other then that there aren't any perks. We hardly ever go out to eat, We don't have a cleaning person, I don't have a gym memborship. I just don't see the frikkin point in working so much. I also think he has workaholic tendancies but not sure how much is forced on him??? I'm just SO tired of it all but he can't up and quit either that's just to scary to me and I think its common sense 101 that you have a job lined up before quitting the one you have but it's also hard to find a new one when you work so much

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