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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Push Presents
A girl on the July 2011 board posted about it and I said I think they are stupid. Now I am getting the whole "well you must not have enough $ for one..."
What are your thoughts on them?
Linky if you are interested~
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/48295488.aspx
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Push Presents
What do you care if someone gets a gift from their SO/DH for giving birth? I suppose giving hints to your husband for what you want for your birthday is materialistic, as well?
Great idea
Mother's Day gift is totally different. I want something that has both kids birthstones on it after this one is born, but it wont be a push present. More like a b-day gift that I will pick out myself
I thought the baby was the present??
But I have to say my husband bought me a beautiful "mommy necklace" after Lucy was born...so maybe that was my push present. But I didn't request one at all.
If I wasn't on TB I wouldn't have known about 'push presents'. I didn't get one. I agree with you, kinda silly. And no, its not a money thing. My push present was getting to hold my baby, and maybe forever being able to say to my dh "your not the one that gave birth"
Either way, I guess its to each their own.
I think the term "push present" is stupid. I think expecting one or asking for one is stupid. I don't think a husband giving his wife a gift as a way to commerate the birth of their child is stupid. A few hours after each of my son's were born, DH surprised me (ok, I wasn't THAT surprised with #2) with earrings with each baby's birth stone. I love them, I cherish them.
We all want healthy babies. Of course I would never trade my kids for gem stones. Of course I don't think DH loves me or my children more than another husband who didn't buy one (I also don't think the fact that he did makes us materialistic or appreciate our babies less). But I can also appreciate the gift my DH gave me to celebrate.
I got a push present and loved getting one; they are really common in our area, so no one thought it was odd.
That being said, I don't understand why other people would care one way or another if I personally get a gift; I am not sitting here telling others that they are ridiculous if they don't get one, so why should I be told that I am stupid, or ridiculous or selfish for getting one?
I also cannot STAND the sanctimommies who say, "I dont need anything else, the baby is the present". Of course the baby is the best gift ever, but a push gift is not supposed to replace the baby; its supposed to be in RECOGNITION of the baby! A line like the one above is said with the intention of making new moms who receive a push gift feel like they are selfish for enjoying anything more than the new baby in their arms.
If DH had thought of it on his own and given me something I would have been very touched and grateful.
I didn't expect it or ask for one, and didn't receive one, which is perfectly fine with me.
Other couples can do whatever they want as far as gift giving. What the hell do I care?
Obviously, a healthy baby is the best gift; after spending 9 weeks in the NICU with my 3 pound preemie, all I would ever want for anyone is a healthy baby. However, I don't see anything wrong with someone's husband giving them a gift to commemorate the birth of their child.
I was thrilled to get a push gift the time, but wouldn't have thought less of DH in any way if he had chosen not to get me one; I would much rather have had a body that didn't fail me at 30 weeks and a healthy full term baby, than a pair of earrings.
I don't need it for recognition that I'm a woman and I can give birth. I don't need it at all but it was an amazing way for my DH to say "This is to commerate us, our new life, this new beginning, this family we're becoming. I love you for being my partner in this adventure we're beginning together."
Of course the baby was the gift. I made DH put my earrings in my ears because I wouldn't let DS go to do it myself. It wasn't like I threw him aside and started screaming "GIVE ME THE JEWELS!!!"
I agree with this- I guess everyone looks at it different.
Um, you did dumbarse.
Long-distance baby shower, remember?
That's more than DH bought me.
I'm considering getting knocked up just to get more jewelry. Gotta time it right since DH does birth stones. A May baby is getting induced early...because really, who wants emeralds when you can get diamonds?
I DO! But thats because I am a May baby and love my birth stone, hehe. Corri was due in May too (but she came in March, I am not even sure what March's birthstone is), so I am a tad biased towards emeralds.
I did not request anything, but dh did buy me some beautiful earrings with Preston's birthstone in them.
For Harrison, I got nada. :-(
He did get me a mother's necklace for my 1st Mother's Day and I am currently getting Harrison's birthstone put into it next to Preston's. I suppose that can be my gift this time around.
Oh and Harrison's birthstone is a diamond. LOL
That's why I didn't get one! I wasn't eligible because I didn't push!
I think if your SO goes out on his/her own and buys something nice to commemorate the birth of your baby then it's nice.
But, if a woman actually asks for something I think it's silly. IMO, it's like getting a present on someone else's birthday (because it IS someone else's Birth Day). It just isn't right.
But, what do I know. I'm pretty classless.
Good point Star
I see Mother's Day gifts as more of a "thank you for being a great mom" gift rather than a "commemorating the birth" gift. We didn't really do Mother's Day gifts this past year, DH just got me a card, and that was fine with me.
As for c-section moms and adoptive moms, I don't see why they should be excluded. They should still be able to receive a gift commemorating their beginning (or continuation, for second time moms) of motherhood. I had an emergency c-section, so I didn't push...which is why I see the gift as a commemoration of my entry into motherhood.
I think the whole "push present" is silly. But in my case, my DH had a very difficult time during my pregnancy and labor as well. I spent 26wks on bedrest, during which my H had to do all the housework, cooking, driving, laundry, ect. He took wonderful care of me. I was also admitted to the hospital multiple times to have the baby and then sent home. The labor was horrible and frightening. He was strong, supportive and amazing through it all.
We both deserved a gift. We got one. Her name is Livy and she's awesome. :-) Her sparkling eyes, huge grin and hugs are better than all the diamonds in the world.
I don't have anything against people who get push presents. I just had absolutly no need for one. By the time Livy was born, all that was on our minds was relief and a need for sleep. :-) My H going and getting me something was very far from our minds!
That said, this time I will drop a hint to my H that I would like some nice flowers to brighten up the hospital room. Last time we were all just to drained to even think of it.
Bwhwhahahahaha!
Can I make a confession?
Seeing the words "push present" on TB makes me giddy. I love when people care so much about something that matters so little.
Hilarious!
I didn't get any kind of push gift from DH, which I was surprised about considering it's kind of a tradition in his family. I didn't mind one bit. However, I found a strand of 4 pearls in our safe this weekend (I never go in there normally but needed to get DD's SS card) and when I asked him about it, he said it was a gift he wanted to give our daughter for her 1st birthday (4 = April) and he would add one every birthday until she was 18. Now THAT makes me swoon.
With that said, I think push gifts are a very considerate way of recognizing another addition to the family. And, well, we're the ones that do the work, so why not recognize that as well? I find it odd that anyone would have a problem (or think it's strange) that someone else would want to do that for their wife.
And, yes, the baby is enough of a gift. That opinion is probably felt by most mothers.
It works for us. I don't see the harm in him asking if I'd like something, I give him a general idea, then he works on the specifics. Like, I mentioned I wanted a nice diaper bag, and he picked out the brand and color.
Seriously though - if people accept gifts for their birthdays yet bash on women who accept a gift for giving birth, it seems very hypocritical to me. Maybe they should take their birthday gifts and give them to their parents for going to the effort of raising them
I think the are absurd. I never heard of the concept anywhere except for on this site.
A healthy baby is the only present I could dream of wanting!
I agree with this.
For both of the Christmases while I was pregnant, DH got me a necklace and earring set with each of the girls' birthstones. This was before they were even born, so I don't think I can call them push presents.
I think he's awesome for doing that. But I would never ask, or assume that he'd get me jewelry just b/c I'm having our babies.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
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I got a Push Present. I conned DH into buying a car for me. Considering how much that damn thing was used driving the 2 hours to and from the NICU after DD was born, I think it was a great gift.
I have no issues with husbands showing love and appreciation through gifts, as long as that's no the only way they do so.
I got a push present (I hate that term). I agree with pp that it is not so much about the act of pushing, but it is about commemorating a new life into the world and the long term work it took to get there. I did the lion share of that work (pregnancy, IF treatments, birth, breastfeeding), so I don't see why it is a problem for it to be recognized. Of course the healthy baby is a gift, but it goes without saying that is the best gift of all.
In my eyes, Mothers' Day is different. That is supposed to be a gift from the child to his/her mother. Obviously, our LO are too small right now, so DH will "cover" for DS for a few years. Once he is old enough, though, I am looking forward to handprints, photo frames, and homemade gifts on Mothers' Day. The push present is from the DH to his wife. I did not ask for the present, but it is common around my family and friends, so I would have been disappointed if I didn't get one. We are big of gifts, though, because we don't buy things we don't need during the rest of the year.