Question about 1st b-day invite etiquette

BeccaLandes · January 2011

I am planning my boys' first birthday, and think we are inviting about 20 families/couples (so probably about 40-50 people). I am not comfortable with that many gifts for the boys-- we still haven't opened all the toys they got for Christmas, and they are not yet at an age where they're aware of things like "presents."

In addition, people have been so generous already-- taking care of me while I was on bed rest, gifts at my shower, gifts at their bris, helping me take care of them, etc.

I want to put something on the invitation like, "No gifts please, but if you would like to honor their birthday, please make a donation to March of Dimes." (with better wording)

My husband thinks that's tacky. What do you think?

Mrs.OL · January 2011

I don't think it's "tacky," but I'd still show up with something! I can't show up to a child's birthday party without a gift even if its just a few books or something. Sorry!

fallbride110406 · January 2011

I thought about putting something on the map I'm enclosing saying, "Gifts are not necessary. In lieu of gifts, donations can be made to the March of Dimes, a charity supporting premature babies and their families."

I'm not really sure how to work it either, but that's the best I've come up with.

preheatedoven · January 2011

For our LOs' birthday party we said "No gifts please, your presence is present enough" on the invite. I would say that 99% of people still brought a gift. Though, hopefully if you give them the option to make a donation they will do that if they feel like they need to do some sort of gift.

kittylove · January 2011

If you really don't want gifts we had a friend ask for no gifts and then state that all gifts would be going to toys for tots (or you could do your local hospital or other kids charity). She said she got very few gifts compared to other times people say no gifts and then people bring things anyway.

dundasgirl · January 2011

I understand what you are saying about the gifts. We felt the same way, then almost everyone still brought gifts and those that didn't felt bad.

Personally I wouldn't write anything on the card about no gifts. I would spread the word around about March of Dimes or tell people to get the babies some books. You can never have enough books and they are expensive!

Great idea about the March of Dimes too.

choco_lab · January 2011

kittylove:
If you really don't want gifts we had a friend ask for no gifts and then state that all gifts would be going to toys for tots (or you could do your local hospital or other kids charity). She said she got very few gifts compared to other times people say no gifts and then people bring things anyway.

I understand where you are coming from. But I think people will bring gifts anyways and then the people that did what you asked feel like jerks for not bringing something. I like this idea in the respect that if you get stuff that you don't want to keep.. donate it. I'm sure there's a shelter or charity that could use it.

DavezWife · January 2011

we did the "your presence is presents enough" thing b/c we did an open house idea with the neighborhood, her daycare, etc. just to meet/see some people as long as we were having a party. some showed up with lil' something for Ava, others nothing. Fine by us.

I like your MOD idea, too.

EastCoastBride · January 2011

choco_lab:

kittylove:
If you really don't want gifts we had a friend ask for no gifts and then state that all gifts would be going to toys for tots (or you could do your local hospital or other kids charity). She said she got very few gifts compared to other times people say no gifts and then people bring things anyway.

I understand where you are coming from. But I think people will bring gifts anyways and then the people that did what you asked feel like jerks for not bringing something. I like this idea in the respect that if you get stuff that you don't want to keep.. donate it. I'm sure there's a shelter or charity that could use it.

I think the point is that when this woman said they would be donated, people actually finally did what she wanted - they didn't give anything!

CHI-06 · January 2011

We are doing that... I am enclosing a seperate note with the invite. I am going to write something about how lucky our little girl is to have so much in her life and how there are little kids out there that are not as fortunate... we are asking for donations to the childrens hospital and may find an exmaple story off their website to include. I am hoping it touches them enough that they listen. I am going to put that we will tally the donations and announce at the party how much we have raised for kids in need. I am sure she will still get some gifts but it should at least cut down on the number and raise money for a good cause instead. I don't see how that is tacky. I do thinking telling people if they bring a gift it will go to toys for tots is a bit tacky...

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