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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Help. I can't spend another night crying.
My LO is 11days old and we are having a rough time at night. The days are good she sleeps and eats and hardly ever cries, the nights are total opposite. She eats and then cries and will not go to sleep then wants to eat again after 45minutes to an hour. It's super rough on my husband and I, he has had off work since she was born but goes back to work tomorrow. I am going to feel like I need to stay up with LO instead of getting his help like I have been. It seems like the only way she will sleep is if one of us holds her, and the 5 minutes after we put her down in her bassinet she cries.
This is my ramble but it's really hard on us and I usually end up crying because I feel so helpless.
I'm not sure what I'm asking..just some support probably.
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Re: Help. I can't spend another night crying.
Camryn Grace ~ July 6th, 2009 ~ 7lbs 9oz, 20.5"
Brayden Richard Drew ~ December 20, 2010~7lbs 9oz, 20"
I had the same problem with DS1. We eventually began bedsharing. Bed sharing can be done safely. Your LO is still trying to get used to being outside the womb. Get sleep anyway you can. If LO will sleep in the swing, bouncer, stroller, etc, let them. You cannot create bad habits this early. In the beginning babies eat more frequently too. If you are nursing, try the side-lying position and fall back to sleep yourself.
Know you are not alone. When I was on 0-3 the first time around, there were a ton of us that would be on the board at all times of the night because we all had terrible sleepers. Sleep when you can.
GL and HTH
Sometimes I would put baby in her swing. I would have it face me and I would sleep on the couch, while she slept in her swing. It's hard when they are so young - it does get better
Trust your instincts - everyone will give you advice you will find out what works best for you and your baby
I just wanted to pop in and say that my first was like that.
I want you to know that it gets SO much better.
It really does. The other posters gave good advice.
*hugs* I know how you feel. The first 2 weeks were the worst for us. We ended up sleeping with LO on the couch mostly just so that we could get some rest. He still doesn't like to go down in his PnP very often so we purchased a Rock and Play Sleeper which is the only place he sleeps in consistently at night (even though it's only for 2-2.5 hours at a time usually, at least that's 2 hours I can sleep on my own, lol). There are still nights he sleeps with me for a good chunk of the night - and that's when I get the best stretches of sleep out of him, of course (3-4 hours compared to 2 when he's sleeping on his own). At this point, it's just survival mode. Like PP have said, your LO's still getting used to being outside the womb and may just need the comfort of being with you.
I finally had to tell myself that it was okay to have him sleep on my chest all night if that was all he seemed to want to do. That it's okay to spend all day on the couch and not get dressed until 4 p.m. because he's fussy and won't go down for sleep anywhere else. If I'm still doing this on a daily basis when he's 9 months old, that will be a problem, but for now it's what he needs to feel comforted because he's still so new to this world.
It will get better...from 2 weeks until now (5 weeks) things have fallen into place a lot more. We're still FAR from where I'd like us to be but it feels a little less daunting so I know it can only get better from here on out.
Aw yes I feel you. You are not alone, though being up in the middle of the night with a crying baby feels like the loneliest time in the world. I don't know if it will help at all, but DD was just like your LO - only slept when held, was great during the day and a terror at night. I literally cried everyday once the sun went down and would just want to go hide and not deal with it. I think that for the first 3 weeks or so I averaged 3 hours of sleep per night and it was hell. We tried everything except bedsharing/co-sleeping because I wasn't comfortable with that. I know how long the days are when you're sleep deprived, and how much longer it can feel when DH goes back to work (cried about that too).
What helped for us was putting DD on an incline like someone else suggested - I was super anti anything "out of the ordinary" like sleeping in a swing, bouncer, or car seat, but honey, do whatever you can for sleep. haha. In fact, DD is still sleeping in her car seat (but she has reflux also...something to ask the doctor about if LO is having trouble sleeping on her back). But yes - 11 days is still brand new and baby isn't used to the world yet. People always said this to me and I never believed them, but it DOES get better. I promise. In the mean time, let yourself cry if you need to, sleep when you can, let the house work go.
Anyway I'm rambling but I read posts like yours and my heart just goes out because I remember how desperate/upset/frustrated I was for those first few weeks. Something that helped me during the nights was thinking that there were literally thousands of other mothers up with their babies at that time, and the fact that though its hard, you are teaching LO that you will always be there for them. You can message me if you want
Good luck!
My LO did the same thing! Ugh, it was awful, so hard on all 3 of us. I will say the first day DH went back to work was the worst. It got better after that. For us, we realized DD likes to be snuggled while she sleeps so we bought the Fisher Price Rock N'Play Sleeper which has an incline and is much more snug than her pack & play (where she was sleeping next to our bed). When she's in there, we always swaddle and she'll now sleep a 3 1/2 hour stretch in there at night. During the day when she needs a nap, rather than swaddle, I'll wear her in a sling. She loves that and I can get a lot done - everything except cooking on the stove pretty much.
Regarding a day on your own: I've learned to let LO do her thing and not get stressed about when she's sleeping or not or whether I've even brushed my teeth. Hang in there and know that it does get better!!
DD had the same problem. She has been sleeping in the Fisher Price Soothing Sounds Glider. That had been doing wonders. When she was in the hospital at 2 weeks old for Broncilitus they had her sleeping in a swing and that worked well too.
We are just not transitioning her back to her crib and things are working out.
Also even though it is very tempting try not to hold your baby everytime it goes to sleep during the day or else the baby will expect you to hold him at night. I cried the first couple of times I had the kids sleep during the day without me holding them but it gets better. and it makes the cuddle times that much better.
DS is 6 weeks old now but was the exact same for the first 2 weeks, and then started to taper off. The biggest thing that helped us to turn the corner was keeping DS awake as much as possible during the day and then at night, sleeping in his car seat! After a couple of days of that, he got his days/nights switched around. The car seat thing was just what worked for him - he wanted to be inclined and cozy, and that was the next best thing to our arms! (There are plenty of arguments against car seat sleeping, so to each their own!) We just recently got the Fisher Price Rock & Play for sleeping and he seems to like that enough, so he's out of his car seat now. We also started the 5 S's too and it works great.
Thinking back to those nights makes me cringe. It is so challenging, but it does get better, even if it seems so far away that you'll have a night with at least some rest!