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Mouseygail
member
Ugh..I shouldn't have read Parents mag..
Mouseygail
member
Now I am second guessing myself and filled with dread. There was this stupid article about windows of opportunity to do something before you mess up your kid forever...(ok, so maybe it was just "its much easier to do it in this time frame") and we are pretty much at the end of the "you'd better sleep train now or never" window (they said 4-6 months). And that you should leave your baby overnight by 9 months if you want to do that.
I think I might puke.
I know, i know...trust my gut, yadda yadda... but DH has been harping on both of these things for a while now.
Funny, getting him to sleep through the night most of the time would make it much much easier to leave him overnight. He won't take bottles except at daycare and often at night, he won't go back to bed without nursing first (so I'm pretty positive that a bottle from grandma wouldn't cut it if he woke up hungry).
I'm probably rambling...but man..I read those two things and my stomach just DROPPED. I don't want to have a horrible sleeper for years and years, but he just seems so tiny to sleep train. sigh.
So..I guess I should pull my head out of the sand and at least read about some sleep training methods...suggestions? Thanks! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ugh..I shouldn't have read Parents mag..
Bah! Take it all with a grain of salt. Trust your gut and do what feels right to you. We never sleep trained and E SSTN 90% of the time. I do still rock her to sleep while she drinks her bottle, but we will be working on that over the next few months. I have not left her overnight yet and I NEVER would have before 9mo. Again, it's something we are working on before the baby comes so she can stay with my mom or have my mom stay here when I'm in the hospital.
I like Parents mag, but it is very mainstream on some of these issues and I am way more crunchy.
Good luck!
From my experience and the experience of many of my mom friends I'd say that it's true that the earlier you do those things the easier it will be on you and on the baby. However...we sleep trained Henry at 10 months and it was super easy and super fast. The key, I think, is to do it before they are able to stand in the crib and call your name. Most parents can't handle that...I know I wouldn't be able to.
As for leaving them overnight, we started doing that around 11 months and have had no issues. He's only stayed with my MIL and she has to rock him to sleep, but that's what she prefers, anyway, and it's fine with me.
Bottom line...I do think with most children it's better to start earlier rather than later, but I think their timelines might be a tad on the early side. At least in my experience.
ETA: Just wanted to add that, like desabean, we didn't sleep train until I was done nursing. Henry woke to nurse at least once a night every, single night until he was weaned to formula at eight months. At that point I wasn't ready to sleep train him because I felt like he still needed that session. Once he was on formula full-time he started randomly STTN on some nights, and that's when I felt he was ready.
LOL! I didn't see that line until I reread your post and of course I told you to trust your gut. Sorry!!
Come up to MI and hang out with me for a night- you'd forget all about Jones and if he's sleeping!
If he really wanted to eat in the middle of the night he'd take a bottle from grandma- she doesn't smell like you. I'm sorry... it is tough but once you do it- you just want more!!!!
Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin.
I am sure you can still sleep train after 9 months. I don't know what I would have done if I only had 1 baby, but because I had 2, sleep training felt like a necessity to me! Also, I felt better doing it after they had STTN a couple of random nights on their own-- I knew they could sleep, so it was just making that happen more often.
As for what we used, we loosely used Ferber. After a couple of days, it seemed like our going in was just making things worse, so some of the time we just left them (really, Benjamin, because Asher never cried). Part of it is just what you feel works for you and your baby-- what worked for me might not work for you and your boy. I ended up going to the library and taking out every sleep book they had, reading all of their philosophies and guidelines, and then choosing what I thought made the most sense, and what I thought would work for my guys.
Good luck-- you are not destined to have a bad sleeper forever!
I will tell you after trying everything/anything w/ David for naps/bedtime that some babies will just figure it out when they are ready, in his case it wasn't until 14/15 months that he learned to nap on his own and STTN on "most" nights. We still hold him at bedtime but are working on starting drowsy but awake at bedtime too. I remember reading on another board that daycare babies are told that it's naptime and they all just nap so I tried it and to my shock it worked! Jacob just napped on his own and at bedtime from the get go (minus the 8 weeks of nightly colic) and I hope he stays this way! I say do what you think feels right and if that's not working then try something else.
Just my experience: Had a very good sleeper for the most part (slept 8+ hours straight from 7 weeks to 5.5 months, then teething and development caused some hiccups, but still a pretty good sleeper) but we were still getting up at 4:30 for a quick nursing session at the 8 month mark. I was too afraid to really sleep train for fear that she was actually hungry (at this point my supply was not great since I was back at work and not pumping enough). I decided to swap the nighttime nursing session for a bottle of formula and did "ferber" couple of nights later for 8 minutes (3 minutes, went in, left, waited 5 minutes, went in, left, went to bathroom, she stopped crying and has slept through the night ever since).
Yes, we got super lucky but I also believe that my gut/intuition was really valuable. I wanted to do it earlier but just couldn't shake the feeling it was not right-- trust your gut, you have not missed your window. Most babies (ok, all of them at some point) learn to sleep through the night-- even if they never had an overnight by 9 months.
Good luck!!
Joey, Ronnie, and Audrey,
my awesome IUI 30 week twins, and my surprise miracle
LOVE my SAIF ladies
I sleep trained at 4 months but I had to do it over and over again and gave up. They go to sleep every night in out bed then I carry them to their bed where they sleep all night. Annoying? yeah but it works for us. Don't panic and do what feels right to you.
It was really hard to let my 4 month cry in her crib for an hour (went in at 5 minute intervals but still) and if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't of. I would of rocked and rocked because it goes to fast.
Alright...I'm feeling a little bit better! Ironically, he STTN for about a month from 2 months old to 3 months old..and then didn't AT ALL until last week. He had three nights of STTN within a week...and then he went right back to waking up a lot. I think I just need to continue focusing on making sure my supply is up, and sending DH in more often to soothe him back to sleep without feeding him.
Thanks girls! You are the best!
And Skimmy...you crack me up
I'm definitely going to need to get very drunk the first night I spend away from him!!
Please, please don't sweat it. If sleep-training isn't something you want or feel able to do right now (or ever!), then don't. Your son will be fine and he will STTN on his own in good time. I know some parents feel that they should, but there really is no "should" in parenting. Trust that you are being a good parent, even if you choose to delay sleep-training (or never do it).
As for overnight getaways - that's a personal decision. I didn't feel ready (nor did I want to) until Cal was 20 months old. It went beautifully. I'm sure we could have done it at a much younger age and he would have been fine (though I agree with pp that if he's EBF and still nursing at night (for actual sustenance), it might be best to wait until that's no longer the case.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
Mousey. Mousey, mousey, mousey.
Seriously? Parents magazine has you second guessing yourself? Girl don't make me come over there and take that magazine away.
Entertainment purposes only. Jones has never read Parenting magazine. He doesn't give a shiit what it says.
I'm not a sleep trainer myself, but certainly have seen lots of people implement some sort of sleep training methods WELL after 6 months with results they are happy with.
Leave your baby overnight by 9 months or forget about it. BAH HAAA! That is so stupid.
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
We sleep trained at 10+ months, and now have a GREAT sleeper.
We left Caroline with my Mom for the first time this month...it was fine.
Throw the magazine out ;-)
I think you are doing 100% the right thing for Jones and you right now. Breastfeeding babies often wake through the night to eat. Penny didn't sleep through until she was almost 1 (or maybe she was 1)...I kinda blocked it out.
She is 16 months old now and goes to bed no problem.
She still wakes up in the night sometimes. But overall she's pretty good.
When my ILs watch Reed, my MIL sleeps in the spare bedroom with Reed. She is so worried he will fall out of the bed at their house. But he knows that's only at Grammas.
I didn't read the magazine, but i am in the same boat. I was thinking this morning about our unintentional co-sleeping situation that has slowly developed and the dependence on nursing back to sleep and her total lack of self soothing skills, and I started second guessing what I have been doing this whole time.
I was doing what I felt was right in my gut, but really worried that I am creating a co-dependent child. I ordered the No-cry Sleep Solution today. At nap time, I tried to put her in her crib drowsy then walk away. She started crying, so I went in and put her paci back in her mouth and stayed with her trying to soothe her to sleep, but did not leave her side. She cried/dozed off for a second/cried some more for 35 minutes before I gave in. I couldn't take it anymore.
I don't mind rocking her to sleep, but she wakes up most of the time as soon as I lay her in her cradle, and then there is no way to get her back down without me. I am more inclined to just go with what feels right to me at this point, and I definitely wouldn't take advice from those magazines.
another point is that sometimes you need to sleep train more than once. we did the baby whisperer's concept at 5 months, and then after Ethan was sick for a while and sleeping with us, we had to use ferber at 11 months. Both worked. we also needed to referber at about 18 months. It worked.
You are NOT going to mess this up!
I don't buy it! DD's sleep is so all over the place right now. One night she sleeps like an angel 10 hrs no interruptions. The next night she wakes every hr all night long. I am trying NCSS methods and nothing is working, or it does work and then it stops... not sure which!?!
I say every baby and momma is different and you have to do what is best for you both. I also don't plan to leave DD overnight until I absolutely have to, which will be when I am in the hospital for #2.
Ditto this. Even now at 20 months, Elizabeth will STTN for weeks and then have a bad week with teething or a cold where she's waking up 2-3 times a night. I don't think sleep training is always the cure-all for sleep issues, but that's coming from someone who never tried it
Do whatever feels right for you, DH and Jones -- you'll figure it out together.
We didn't sleep train, aside from some techniques in NCSS, and Elizabeth started STTN on her own at 13.5 months. Yeah, it was a long, sleep deprived year, but it worked for us!
Thank you girls!! I will probably do some research so that I am ready when I feel he is ready, but you guys are right! I should trust my gut! I waited on the deswaddle and move to the crib until I felt he was ready and it went off without a hitch! ***trying to bolster my confidence back up**!
I just got the new issue of Parents too...I say those articles/suggestions are in general, I don't think you will mess up your kid forvere if you are a bit off track with the reccs. As far as sleep trainign, IDK if I'm the best person to give suggestions since DD is still so young, but I have loosely adopted the methods taught in the Baby Whisperer (EASY routine) & have been using that to "sleep train" DD. It works better at night than during the day, but I like that it doesn't involve CIO, which would literally rip my heart right out of my chest. Anyway, it may be worth a read. GL to you!
World_of_Dennifer
Bloomin'_Babies
Married/Nest_Bio
Follow your gut. you are fine.
WE never sleep trained DS and although he is a crappy napper/s.leeper it is just HIM. I strongly believe in their personality. DD is a great sleeper and I did the exact same thing.
You are good, just follow your mom instincts and do what is right for you.
I agree with Tina. I think 4 m is too young. I know JOnes is 6m, but you know what I mean. Do what you feel is right for you.
I will say that sleep is all over the place and also agree with seasoul.
My pedi said it is normal for kids to STTN starting at 1 year. Forget the 6wks thing. It can be all over the map. DS STTN at 11.5m. DD much earlier, but she is back to waking up twice a night (really once).