Last night ended in tears...

Froggy76 · January 2011

I FINALLY felt like I was ready to BD last night- 2.5 weeks after D&E. We are TTA this cycle, but I really wanted to get back in the swing of things with DH. Well, I ended up completely breaking down sobbing. Will we ever be able to BD again without thinking of getting pregnant/not getting pregnant/babies/miscarriage, etc??? All the fun is gone

HadleyS · January 2011

(((hugs))) it will be okay, Froggy. I think you maybe just need a little more time, but you will get there. When you are ready, you will be happy to have that kind of intimacy again. Weird maybe, but try to find a "happy time", like your wedding night, or some other occasion. I hope that this helps, and don't feel bad about waiting a little longer, you will know when the time is right.

weddingpuffgrrl · January 2011

I found after my m/c that it was really helpful to just be sexual with DH without BD. It sort of reminded me that it isn't all about babies ect. It is very very individual, maybe you can talk to your OBGYN about your feelings. It will get better I promise.

Nicks10 · January 2011

Yes, you will be able to and eventually it will be fun again too. Don't put pressure on yourself, just take it one day/night at a time. It took me a few weeks before I wanted to again, because I was scared about how I would feel.

Oatoa · January 2011

You are not alone in how you are feeling. It took DH and I 6 weeks to get back into the swing of things after my D&E. I just wasn't in the mood. Those damn hormones. I know it seems like you will never be yourself again but just give yourself time. It does get better.

Hugs to you and your DH.

Mellimo83 · January 2011

Im sorry Froggy. Trust me though, from what I've seen on this board, a lot of us, including me, wound up doing the ugly, no-holds-barred-crying, the first time we BD'd again. It does get better and easier, just allow yourself some time. Right Hug

ccansdale · January 2011

((((hugs)))) i know it takes time to heal, it took me like 2.5 months! Just take time, I'm sure DH will understand.

iggy.d · January 2011

I'm sending you some big (( hugs )). It will get better. It took a long while for me as well. I agree with others...take as much time as you need.

noah-bear · January 2011

It's completely natural to feel this way. Even now, 9 months since my most recent loss, I get emotional during sex.

The first time we tried both times I broke down. It's hard and it hurts (emotionally). All I can recommend is talking and being close to your DH emotionally before physically. It helped me so much to just lay there and be held by DH and it helped me feel better about starting to have sex again.

starrynyt · January 2011

I am so sorry. :-( It definitely took me a while to BD after my D&C. It was like I just couldn't emotionally commit to it. I promise it will get better. I was still nervous/sad/uncomfortable the first few times, but then I was able to relax and get into it again. (((hugs)))

Kristipie · January 2011

((hugs)). It will get better with more time. It took me a while to be ready and the first time afterwards I cried, but then it got better and TTA for a bit reminder us that there is more than just FWP. I hope it gets better quickly for you and you find the fun again.

itsmegin · January 2011

I am so sorry. It will get better, just give yourself time.

Tapatio · January 2011

I believe it does get better with time. I think someone suggested starting off being intimate in other ways. Maybe kissing and touching for the first few times before you work your way up to sex at some point. I remember cuddling with DH a lot and that helped me get back in the mood and it reminded me that sex wasn't just about making babies...but making a connection with my partner too. ((hugs)) I hope things get better for you soon.

alexa08 · January 2011

I cried every time for the first month and a half. Now it seems to be getting better, but I do still cry from time to time.

Froggy76 · January 2011

Thanks, everyone, for your encouragement. I'm glad I'm not the only one- I was starting to wonder if I'm crazy! Luckily, my DH is extremely supportive and understanding, so he will give me all the time I need.

twistedmetal · January 2011

noah-bear:
The first time we tried both times I broke down. It's hard and it hurts (emotionally). All I can recommend is talking and being close to your DH emotionally before physically. It helped me so much to just lay there and be held by DH and it helped me feel better about starting to have sex again.

this!

jertie · January 2011

Like everyone said - it's extremely emotional the first time. Even times after that can be difficult. The hardest for me was the first. But, as time passes you'll find that it gets a easier and fun again. Don't be hard on yourself, we've all experienced this and it's very, very normal. ((HUGS))

Eris-Alexis · January 2011

Hang in there. That is totally normal. The first time DH and I were intimate (not sex, just touching), I cried as well. It took until after my first AF for me to be interested in sex again.

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