skipping the 16 and 20 wk appointments???

magpiebride61210 · January 2011

so, here's my problem. I started a new job just two weeks ago. I have a great opportunity to work full time in an early learning center. I am paid pretty well for this line of work. Plus, I will get free child care for my own baby. win freekin win in my opinion.

so my boss turns out to be a real arse hole. awesome. I have put in a request to take 2 hours off, at the end of a work day (in Feb), for my 16 week appointment. I work until 5:30. The office closes at 3:30, and they have given me the last appointment slot of the day, at 3:30. I've asked to leave at 3 to get there in time. my boss has said no. She's also said NO leave requests will be approved until my 90 day trial period is over. I asked her if this meant I will not be able to take any time (even just a couple of hours) to be checked out? I asked her if this meant I'd have to go 3 months without knowing if my baby is ok in there? She only said in response "no leave requests are approved before your 90 day trial is over".

So what the heck do i do? my 16 week appointment is Feb. 14. My 20 week appointment would be first week in March. I won't be able (according to my boss) to go in during my doc's office hours until April!

I've looked into finding another doctor who would see me, who has Saturday hours. No one within my coverage, within a 30 minute drive has saturday hours.

i need this job. we can't afford for me to not work. I couldn't call out sick, she knows the days I need off. And I've seen other new girls (two who started with me) who have had to call out with the flu, and they are on "warnings" for "abuse of sick leave".

this is blowing my mind. what would you do? suggestions here?

sallydraper · January 2011

Whoa. You only asked to leave a couple of hours early ONE day, for a doctor's appointment. I know you said you need this job, but your boss sounds completely unreasonable. Do you have an HR department?

A pregnant woman leaving a little early to make a doctor's appointment is completely different than, for example, taking a vacation during your probationary period.

smalerie · January 2011

Call your doctor's office and explain what the problem is. They should be able to work something out with/for you.

LollyO · January 2011

Wow. I'm shocked. Does this woman have children? I can't imagine not being able to go to scheduled doctors appointments for my pregnancy. That blows my mind as well. All I can think to do is call in sick. Who cares if she knows the dates. I would do what I could to make it to the appointments. Health comes first! Good luck. I'm curious to see what other advice you get.

mbritto4 · January 2011

Is your center part of a larger corporation/chain? If so I'd complain to HR.

Five_letter · January 2011

taralp25:
I would be calling my HR department ASAP

If it's a small child care facility, the owner is the HR department, as with most small businesses.

I'd start by speaking with your doctor. This can't be a completely un-heard of situation. See what they can do before you do anything drastic.

If you call out during your 90 day probationary period, she'll probably fire you.

BoogieMonster629 · January 2011

wow. what a b!tch. is there anyone above her? because I would def go over her head and complain.

notthebride123 · January 2011

What a psycho! Can you just get someone to cover you for those few hours? Be sure to also get a doctors note for each visit. Also tell your dr what is going on...not sure this is legal????

Good Luck! I hate B!TCHY evil female bosses! ARGH!

magpiebride61210 · January 2011

Five_letter:

taralp25:
I would be calling my HR department ASAP

If it's a small child care facility, the owner is the HR department, as with most small businesses.

I'd start by speaking with your doctor. This can't be a completely un-heard of situation. See what they can do before you do anything drastic.

If you call out during your 90 day probationary period, she'll probably fire you.

There is no HR, she's it. You are RIGHT ON.

I've left my doc's office a message. I can't make phone calls during the day and this convo was had after lunch. Hopefully they can do something for me.

You're also right about the calling out sick. I'd be out of a job.

so i guess we're going to see what my doc can do for us. then panic.

grrrrrrrr this woman is a beast. it makes me laugh it's so over the top.

Thanks ladies! I'll for sure post about this again when I have some news/update.

COMomma81 · January 2011

That's absolutely unreasonable. Contact your HR representative. We're not talking about you taking an entire day off. You're asking to leave a fricking half hour early. Your prenatal care is very important, and the 20 week appointment is a crucial one. I am absolutely appalled she is being like this, I am so sorry. Maybe explain the situation to your doctor, see if she can talk to your boss on your behalf or see if they can possibly be more flexible with you. What an a**hole!

aesf · January 2011

if you r doctor cant work around it I would contact a lawyer. This might be an ADA violation. Allowing you two leave two hours early seems to be a reasonable accommodation to me. (Although you may be required to make it up).

A more devious option would be to change the appt so the boss doesnt know the day and call in and say you caught the norwalk virus. Im sure it is against regulations for early learning to allow employees to work with a stomach virus in your state. I dont know what you will say you have for the second call out.

Amused · January 2011

I'd start looking for another job asap. If your boss is this bad about you needing time off now, what will you do if your baby is sick and needs you at home for a couple of days (God forbid). In the meantime, you'll probably have to call in sick to be seen by your doctor. I wouldn't miss 90 days of seeing the doctor to accommodate this psychos silly rules. Baby is most important. A warning on your "record" probably won't matter in the broader scheme of things.

Five_letter · January 2011

magpiebride61210:
Five_letter:

taralp25:
I would be calling my HR department ASAP

If it's a small child care facility, the owner is the HR department, as with most small businesses.

I'd start by speaking with your doctor. This can't be a completely un-heard of situation. See what they can do before you do anything drastic.

If you call out during your 90 day probationary period, she'll probably fire you.

Luckily you've got over two weeks to figure this all out. I'm sorry, this really sucks.

There is no HR, she's it. You are RIGHT ON.

I've left my doc's office a message. I can't make phone calls during the day and this convo was had after lunch. Hopefully they can do something for me.

You're also right about the calling out sick. I'd be out of a job.

so i guess we're going to see what my doc can do for us. then panic.

grrrrrrrr this woman is a beast. it makes me laugh it's so over the top.

Thanks ladies! I'll for sure post about this again when I have some news/update.

mallorynelson · January 2011

Yikes! Sounds like a complete crazy lady! In addition to calling around trying to find out if there's another doctor with Saturday hours, you could also call and see if any offices have extended hours. I work about an hour from my doctor and can't leave work until 4:00 and they typically close at 4:30...but on Tuesdays, they are open until 7:00 for circumstances just like this. Something to check out!

FrankieandTyler · January 2011

I agree with "aesf" this could very well be an ADA violation. It's not like you're asking for a week off or even an entire day. I think in your situation "someone" can come down off her power trip and be reasonable. If not, even though you need a job, this one might be too stressful for you. Free child care is an amazing benefit - I hear you on that one, but unfortunately, who knows what she'll put you through next. Hope it all works out!

kgunz11 · January 2011

1. Talk w/ HR

2. Call out sick

12bailey18 · January 2011

Honestly, if it were me I would look for another job. I can't imagine working full time for a boss that I consider to be an A-hole. What if once the baby gets here and you need to call out sick with LO? Are you going to get warnings and talked to? I just think it's important to have a boss you mesh well with and allows for some flexibility, especially with motherhood. No, there is no way I would miss my 16 week and 20 week appointment. One of those would be my anatomy ultrasound and I wouldn't miss that.

ClaudiaStar21 · January 2011

Can you have at least the 20 week appt at the hospital? My friend's doctor has all the ultrasounds done at the hospital. Mine are all in the office, but it sounds like it's not uncommon to have a script to do it at the hospital. I'd at least ask the doctor that question. Also, what time do you start in the morning? Is it possible to get the first appt at your ob?

downtown80 · January 2011

That is pretty standard policy at most jobs; at least it is at mine. 90 days before they allow time off.

What you can suggest to your boss is making up those hours other days during the 16th and 20th week. Of course, that means that you'll have to work some longer hours, but I think it would be a win-win situation for you/baby and your boss.

Lauren79 · January 2011

This is so crazy to me. Ask your doctors office to write you a note stating you have an appointment that cannot be missed. This should work. Anytime my employees bring me a doctors note, I accept it. It just isn't worth the hassle dealing with arguing about it. Plus, I am so understanding about things that come up with my employees.

cemacmil · January 2011

taralp25:
I would be calling my HR department ASAP

This.

ccwalker26 · January 2011

I'll be praying for you! Hope it all turns out ok in the end.

nbbride06 · January 2011

taralp25:
I would be calling my HR department ASAP

This. In the meantime, can you make the appt for right before or right after lunch so you can use your lunch hour in addition to 2 hours?

momtoRaegan041008 · January 2011

I understand that you need the job, but what is this boss going to be like after you have the baby? Realistically, your child is going to get sick and you're going to have to call off. The baby will have to go to the dr and someone is going to have to take the baby there. If this is how she is acting over 2 hours 2 different days in a 3 month period of time, I think it's time you look for another job. What happens if you come down with the flu and have to call off? You can't go in sick with a bunch of children. You need to go to the dr to make sure your baby is growing on track. Can you go to the health department instead? Don't they usually have later hours?

dougsbestgirl · January 2011

Does you OB office have early morning hours? Would it be possible to have an appointment early in the morning before you have to be at work? Or is it close enough that you could leave on lunch and be back in time for work?

That stinks. I hope you can figure something out.

jheideman · January 2011

FrankieandTyler:
I agree with "aesf" this could very well be an ADA violation. It's not like you're asking for a week off or even an entire day. I think in your situation "someone" can come down off her power trip and be reasonable. If not, even though you need a job, this one might be too stressful for you. Free child care is an amazing benefit - I hear you on that one, but unfortunately, who knows what she'll put you through next. Hope it all works out!

I completely agree with this. I would look into whether or not this violates ADA, I would also see if this violates state or local laws.

I am sorry that you are going through this. I cannot imagine how stressful that would be!

bensbabe · January 2011

momtoRaegan041008:
I understand that you need the job, but what is this boss going to be like after you have the baby? Realistically, your child is going to get sick and you're going to have to call off. The baby will have to go to the dr and someone is going to have to take the baby there. If this is how she is acting over 2 hours 2 different days in a 3 month period of time, I think it's time you look for another job. What happens if you come down with the flu and have to call off? You can't go in sick with a bunch of children. You need to go to the dr to make sure your baby is growing on track. Can you go to the health department instead? Don't they usually have later hours?

These were my questions, too. If she's this much of an a-hole, it's gonna get worse once the baby is here, so I'd look for another job.

Also, if you live in a no-fault state, she could STILL fire you if you brought-up ADA laws, etc.

Lindsay&Eric · January 2011

Honestly...and maybe this is just around my area,

But Daycare workers dont make that much...some of them are Min. Wage especially when they are in the first 90 days. To me, $8 or even $9 an hour isnt worth the stress and worry it's going to cause you. With all of the stress, it could easily put you into a bed-rest situation...and then what????

I know free child care is Great, but If it could cost you your health or the baby's, is $9 an hour really worth it?

I'd def. go and look for another job!

jdm7 · January 2011

I think these ladies gave you some great advice.

If this were me... I'd (A) start looking for another job. Free daycare or not, this one isn't worth it. (B) Look into the ADA thing to see if this is a violation. There could be some part of it that states during a 90-day probation, they cannot let you take time off. (C) Speak with this a-hole lady and talk about making the time up.

I'm assuming your doctor's office is close to where you work. Can you take a lunch break and leave to go see the doctor. Tell your boss that instead of leaving work early, you're making your appt for lunch time and may be just 10minutes late getting back. The only problem is, doctor's offices take lunch breaks too.

I'm really suprised this woman isn't being more helpful, but from one side of it, she may have been burned in the past by people abusing the 90-day probation that she's just tired of it and has decided she will not bend the rules for anyone, especially if 2 other girls are on Warnings for calling off sick (though if you're sick, I wouldn't want you at the daycare center either).

Overall - you need to sit down with her and talk to her in her office about your appointments and that you understand the 90-day probation. She needs to have a little bit of bend when it comes to you getting examined. The other thing to look at is if there are any doctor's offices around your immediate area that accept your insurance and have later office hours (such as 5:30 or 6pm). Some will accomodate that.

cburitz · January 2011

momtoRaegan041008:
I understand that you need the job, but what is this boss going to be like after you have the baby? Realistically, your child is going to get sick and you're going to have to call off. The baby will have to go to the dr and someone is going to have to take the baby there. If this is how she is acting over 2 hours 2 different days in a 3 month period of time, I think it's time you look for another job. What happens if you come down with the flu and have to call off? You can't go in sick with a bunch of children. You need to go to the dr to make sure your baby is growing on track. Can you go to the health department instead? Don't they usually have later hours?

This.

You HAVE to go to the Dr appt. Hopefully they can switch you to a different date/time.

I wonder if they will even hold your job for you when you go on maternity leave? To qualify for the FMLA, you have to be working full time for a year. They could refuse to grant you maternity leave and then you'd be screwed... Working for a small business when you're pregnant isn't fun. I lost my job due to this pregnancy and I worked for the company for a year and a half. I hope it all works out for you

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