I held a baby last week, so send me your questions...

Sheas · January 2011

Seriously, since I held a newborn last week, I really feel like I learned everything there is to know about parenthood.

Ask me anything!

lilbit923 · January 2011

You freaking rawk! I've been waiting for someone so insightful to help me with all of my impending "birthin babies" needs!

Since I've been having Braxton and Hicks that are really annoying and I'm thinking of taking castor oil, when will I have my baby?

Manateearmz · January 2011

Why is this board so snarky?!?

You are all meanie poo poo heads. I hope that my post has made you see the error of your ways.

P.S. I feel sorry for your husbands.

Sheas · January 2011

Follow these instructions:

1c. Castor Oil

1c. Crushed Pineapple

1- Bumpy car ride

Take the oil and eat the pineapple. Then, get in your car and go for a ride, preferebly over a few train tracks. If you do this within an hour after experiencing your braxton and hicks, you should have the baby within 15 minutes.

MrsNiner · January 2011

Um, so, where is my baby's umbillical cord attached to me?? Like.... does it go from his belly button to my belly button? Because I think he pulls on it sometimes and it makes my outie go back in....

bell0niner · January 2011

I held a kitten yesterday....ask me all your vet questions, as I am the expert now...

Stick out tongue

MrsTotty · January 2011

OMG - the fits of giggles are either going to make me pee myself, or go into labor. lol.

jamacattack · January 2011

So... I'm 32 weeks today and I REALLY want this baby out of me- what else can I do to get labor started besides the castor oil, pineapple and bumpy car ride (none of those have worked yet for some reason!)? A short stay in NICU won't hurt her much, will it?

Sheas · January 2011

k_renee:

Um, so, where is my baby's umbillical cord attached to me?? Like.... does it go from his belly button to my belly button? Because I think he pulls on it sometimes and it makes my outie go back in....

The umbilical cord is attached to your rectum. Once the baby is born, and is cut from the baby, you must pass the cord during your first bowel movement after labor. It might feel a little like you are passing your intestines, but fear not, it will be quick and painless.

lilbit923 · January 2011

Sheas:

Follow these instructions:

1c. Castor Oil

1c. Crushed Pineapple

1- Bumpy car ride

Take the oil and eat the pineapple. Then, get in your car and go for a ride, preferebly over a few train tracks. If you do this within an hour after experiencing your braxton and hicks, you should have the baby within 15 minutes.

Oh Thank You! My worries have subsided and I'm off to the store.

(LOL! I'm freaking rolling here at my desk.)

Sheas · January 2011

jamacattack:
So... I'm 32 weeks today and I REALLY want this baby out of me- what else can I do to get labor started besides the castor oil, pineapple and bumpy car ride (none of those have worked yet for some reason!)? A short stay in NICU won't hurt her much, will it?

I say, the NICU is there for a reason, you might as well utilize it! Try making sex, going for a walk, and go to a rock concert. Those are also well proven natural ways to induce labor.

babyrusty · January 2011

k_renee:

Um, so, where is my baby's umbillical cord attached to me?? Like.... does it go from his belly button to my belly button? Because I think he pulls on it sometimes and it makes my outie go back in....

Did I not say it was silly? I was more interested in how it comes out...let it go. Ditto the pp who said she feels bad for your husbands. Sorry for not knowing absolutely everything there is to know in the world, like I am sure you do.

meliss33 · January 2011

Love this entire thread!!!

MrsNiner · January 2011

Sheas:
k_renee:

Um, so, where is my baby's umbillical cord attached to me?? Like.... does it go from his belly button to my belly button? Because I think he pulls on it sometimes and it makes my outie go back in....

The umbilical cord is attached to your rectum. Once the baby is born, and is cut from the baby, you must pass the cord during your first bowel movement after labor. It might feel a little like you are passing your intestines, but fear not, it will be quick and painless.

OMG, so THAT'S why the first poo after delivering is so scary! Thaaaanks.

lilbit923 · January 2011

MrsTotty:
OMG - the fits of giggles are either going to make me pee myself, or go into labor. lol.

Oh this! And I have to leave to brave outbound traffic to go get the kids. I'll be back on my laptop as soon as I get home! This is just too good.

I'm surprised no one asked about lactation and if they leak now will that mean they will be good at breast feeding. I also see no hemi questions either.

Molluskwrangler · January 2011

Why is my right boob producing almost 2x the milk of the left, AND since they are so big now do I need to worry about smothering my daughter? Should I just switch to formula?

lilbit923 · January 2011

mandaree:

Why is this board so snarky?!?

You are all meanie poo poo heads. I hope that my post has made you see the error of your ways.

P.S. I feel sorry for your husbands.

We love you Mandaree!!!

Molluskwrangler · January 2011

mandaree:
Why is this board so snarky?!?

You are all meanie poo poo heads. I hope that my post has made you see the error of your ways.

P.S. I feel sorry for your husbands.

Oh, no no,I feel sorry for YOUR husband, and future child, and your mom.

Sheas · January 2011

LovingBaz:
Why is my right boob producing almost 2x the milk of the left, AND since they are so big now do I need to worry about smothering my daughter? Should I just switch to formula?

I am surprised you even attempted to breastfeed. It is very gauche these days.

Anyway, because your right boob is producing 2x the milk, only BF when it is time to BF with the right boob. When it is time to use the left boob, switch to formula.

Also, yes, you are probably smothering that child with your ginormous boobs, so maybe let her come up for a little air every once in a while.

jamacattack · January 2011

Sheas:
jamacattack:
So... I'm 32 weeks today and I REALLY want this baby out of me- what else can I do to get labor started besides the castor oil, pineapple and bumpy car ride (none of those have worked yet for some reason!)? A short stay in NICU won't hurt her much, will it?

I say, the NICU is there for a reason, you might as well utilize it! Try making sex, going for a walk, and go to a rock concert. Those are also well proven natural ways to induce labor.

Thanks for the advice... always looking for expert opinions and I KNEW NICU was there for a reason! And hey, I'll only have to birth a 4lbs baby instead of an 8lbs baby if your advice works- Yay for me!

Manateearmz · January 2011

babyrusty:
k_renee:

Um, so, where is my baby's umbillical cord attached to me?? Like.... does it go from his belly button to my belly button? Because I think he pulls on it sometimes and it makes my outie go back in....

Did I not say it was silly? I was more interested in how it comes out...let it go. Ditto the pp who said she feels bad for your husbands. Sorry for not knowing absolutely everything there is to know in the world, like I am sure you do.

Bahahahaahaahahaha!

Do you feel sorry for their future children too? Please tell me you do...please.

Molluskwrangler · January 2011

Sheas:
LovingBaz:
Why is my right boob producing almost 2x the milk of the left, AND since they are so big now do I need to worry about smothering my daughter? Should I just switch to formula?

I am surprised you even attempted to breastfeed. It is very gauche these days.

Anyway, because your right boob is producing 2x the milk, only BF when it is time to BF with the right boob. When it is time to use the left boob, switch to formula.

Also, yes, you are probably smothering that child with your ginormous boobs, so maybe let her come up for a little air every once in a while.

I am a bit embarrassed about the breast feeding, I know it's considered "primitive" . Thanks for the tips, and It never occurred to me to let baby breathe. ..duh.

azgrlbride · January 2011

Braxton and Hicks..Hmm Isn't that a Country band?

Sheas · January 2011

campbell16g:

I held a kitten yesterday....ask me all your vet questions, as I am the expert now...

Uhm... your vet license became valid once you thought about holding that kitten!

JerkStore213 · January 2011

You guys! I asked my mom to come on here and answer all of our questions, since I'm all old and sh*t (like almost 30. ew.) So that makes her the ultimate expert!

Molluskwrangler · January 2011

buffyanne02:
campbell16g:

I held a kitten yesterday....ask me all your vet questions, as I am the expert now...

Thank God there's a vet in the house! My pitbull may or may not have sleep apnea. She snores, even when she's awake. Should I get her a night time respirator?

Something like this?

MrsTotty · January 2011

babyrusty:
k_renee:

Um, so, where is my baby's umbillical cord attached to me?? Like.... does it go from his belly button to my belly button? Because I think he pulls on it sometimes and it makes my outie go back in....

Did I not say it was silly? I was more interested in how it comes out...let it go. Ditto the pp who said she feels bad for your husbands. Sorry for not knowing absolutely everything there is to know in the world, like I am sure you do.

Sheas · January 2011

azgrlbride:

Braxton and Hicks..Hmm Isn't that a Country band?

Where do you think they got their name? They stole if from the pains felt right before labor, you know what pains that put you into labor!

bell0niner · January 2011

buffyanne02:
campbell16g:

I held a kitten yesterday....ask me all your vet questions, as I am the expert now...

Thank God there's a vet in the house! My pitbull may or may not have sleep apnea. She snores, even when she's awake. Should I get her a night time respirator?

Are you sure you're not breastfeeding her with Baz's gianormous boobies??

sarahmrue · January 2011

sheesh y'all are worse than a pack of hyenas munching on some poor, innocent zebras who feel like Dear Abby and maybe another one who didn't finish reading What to Expect When You're Expecting.

Disneygeek77 · January 2011

mandaree:

Why is this board so snarky?!?

You are all meanie poo poo heads. I hope that my post has made you see the error of your ways.

P.S. I feel sorry for your husbands.

Don't forget this board is for support and advice.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Where are your manners?

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

You guys are like the mean cheerleaders in high school that liked to put others down.

Manateearmz · January 2011

sarahmrue:
sheesh y'all are worse than a pack of hyenas munching on some poor, innocent zebras who feel like Dear Abby and maybe another one who didn't finish reading What to Expect When You're Expecting.

My bad...

Molluskwrangler · January 2011

campbell16g:
buffyanne02:
campbell16g:

I held a kitten yesterday....ask me all your vet questions, as I am the expert now...

Thank God there's a vet in the house! My pitbull may or may not have sleep apnea. She snores, even when she's awake. Should I get her a night time respirator?

Are you sure you're not breastfeeding her with Baz's gianormous boobies??

God I hope not..that would be awkward.

sl_gordon · January 2011

This thread is so full of win, I seriously wanna make out with each and every one of you! It would absolutely make my week if we could get a gbcb out of this one...

MrsNiner · January 2011

stw_77:
mandaree:

Why is this board so snarky?!?

You are all meanie poo poo heads. I hope that my post has made you see the error of your ways.

P.S. I feel sorry for your husbands.

Don't forget this board is for support and advice.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Where are your manners?

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

You guys are like the mean cheerleaders in high school that liked to put others down.

My manners got swallowed by my giant backside that formed sometime around week 34!!

bell0niner · January 2011

LovingBaz:
campbell16g:
buffyanne02:
campbell16g:

I held a kitten yesterday....ask me all your vet questions, as I am the expert now...

Thank God there's a vet in the house! My pitbull may or may not have sleep apnea. She snores, even when she's awake. Should I get her a night time respirator?

Are you sure you're not breastfeeding her with Baz's gianormous boobies??

God I hope not..that would be awkward.

haha! And painfull, I would think! As the in-house vet, I don't recommend it. However, if you get a little breastmilk and squirt it in her nose, she'll stop snoring for good! You're welcome. Please come again.

sarahmrue · January 2011

stw_77:
mandaree:

Why is this board so snarky?!?

You are all meanie poo poo heads. I hope that my post has made you see the error of your ways.

P.S. I feel sorry for your husbands.

Don't forget this board is for support and advice.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Where are your manners?

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

You guys are like the mean cheerleaders in high school that liked to put others down.

Yes this

MrsNiner · January 2011

sl_gordon:
This thread is so full of win, I seriously wanna make out with each and every one of you! It would absolutely make my week if we could get a gbcb out of this one...

Stick out tongue Come on over

Sheas · January 2011

buffyanne02:

Oooh, wait, are we being cyber bullies? I totally shouldn't have read this post first.

... bwahahhaha!

Oh gosh you're right... I think we have hurt some feelers.

Molluskwrangler · January 2011

buffyanne02:
campbell16g:
LovingBaz:
campbell16g:
buffyanne02:
campbell16g:

I held a kitten yesterday....ask me all your vet questions, as I am the expert now...

Thank God there's a vet in the house! My pitbull may or may not have sleep apnea. She snores, even when she's awake. Should I get her a night time respirator?

Are you sure you're not breastfeeding her with Baz's gianormous boobies??

God I hope not..that would be awkward.

haha! And painfull, I would think! As the in-house vet, I don't recommend it. However, if you get a little breastmilk and squirt it in her nose, she'll stop snoring for good! You're welcome. Please come again.

Dolly thanks you.

WHOA! Your dog it part leopard? Big Smile

Manateearmz · January 2011

sarahmrue:
stw_77:
mandaree:

Why is this board so snarky?!?

You are all meanie poo poo heads. I hope that my post has made you see the error of your ways.

P.S. I feel sorry for your husbands.

Don't forget this board is for support and advice.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Where are your manners?

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

You guys are like the mean cheerleaders in high school that liked to put others down.

this

Yes, we were totally being serious.

Hook, line and sinker.

I held a baby last week, so send me your questions...

Re: I held a baby last week, so send me your questions...

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