Blended Families
fellesferie
member
Options
Would you say something?
fellesferie
member
I posted earlier about XH not calling DS on Christmas. Today was his birthday, and again.. no call. XH did send DS some Nintendo games, though. He even said he would be calling. Then he didn't.
I asked DS if he wanted to call and say hi and thanks for the games, and he said no. I'll have him call later this week, but I didn't want to make him call his father on his birthday.
I'm incredibly tempted to write XH an email asking if he just didn't have time to call or if he forgot. Would you say something??
It's entirely possible I'm overreacting about the whole thing. I get the whole argument that it's just another day. But it's not just another day to DS.
my read shelf:
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would you say something?
I agree he should call. I'm not sure about saying something. How do you think he'll respond? If positively, then of course, do it for your DS. If he's going to be a bigger ass about the whole thing, I'd let it go and just reassure DS by taking time to read the card from him and talk about seeing him on the next visit.
Totally this. It's NOT just another day to the person and the people who gave life to them. At least, it's not supposed to be.
I would write the e-mail.
He needs to know that he is damaging his relationship with his son. He also needs to know that it is not okay to ignore important days in a child's life. And Birthday and Christmas rank up there as the 2 most important days in a year!
And, you are not overreacting! It is complete crap that this man cannot give 2 minutes of his time on the anniversary of the most important day of his life!
I would say a lot of things, none of them very nice.
There is no excuse for not calling your own child on his birthday.
My friend got her son occupied with something and then snuck a phone call to her EX telling him that when she hung up the phone he better pick it right back up and call their son. It's unfortunate that is what it took, but it worked!
He sent me an email this morning saying that he was in meetings from 6-9pm my time, and that he'd call tonight.
Which I'm interpreting as "I forgot."
I have introduced myself to this board a few time, but dont write much. However I must say I completley agree with you. It should be a big deal. I am a step mother to twins and thier BM did not call for christmas or show up for thier party (when she promised she would). She has recently had another child and says she is busy with him.
Anyway... looks like you have already spoken to him. I will hope he calls tonight! I am the daugter of a father who never called on birthdays. I am 24 now and I still remember waiting for that call every year. That said... I think it is completly just for you to be frustrated by his action (or lack there of)!
I would most definitely say something to XH!! and tell him just that "it may be another day for you - but for DS it is a special day."
I do disagree with you about not having your DS call his dad and thank him for the gifts. I think that he should at least call whenever he received/opened the gifts.
Happy Birthday to your DS
Hope that he had a good day!