TTC After a Loss

Which is worse

I can't decide which is worse-to be hopefull and feel like maybe this really will be our cycle, but then deal with extra disappointment when its not, or to squash myself anytime I feel hopeful. I guess you can tell the 2WW is driving me a little crazy.

TTC since 5/2010
DX with Diminished Ovarian Reserve - AMH of 1.1 - 7/2011; AMH of .42 8/2012
BFP 9/1/10-M/C confirmed 9/8/10-Methotrexate 10/6/10
IUI #1 (w/clomid)-9/5/11-BFN ; IUI #2 (w/clomid)-10/5/11 - BFP - 11/1/12-No sac seen; 11/2/11 and 11/9/11-Methotrexate 
IVF #1- ER 2/2; ET 2/5;-Two 8 cell embryos transfered = BFFN
Surprise BFP - 5/7/12
U/S on 6/8/12 - H/B at 128 BPM; U/S on 6/14/12 @ 9wks-No H/B-D&C on 6/17/12
IVF 2.0- ER 10/17; ET 10/20-One 12 cell, one 10 cell and one 8 cell embryo transfered
BFP!   11/16/12 U/S- Two nuggets with perfect heartbeats! EDD 7/10/13

 

5/31/2013- My miracles arrived at 34w2d!  Welcome to the world Harper and Nolan!Lilypie First Birthday tickers

My Blog- http://waitingonaangel.wordpress.com/

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Re: Which is worse

  • I haven't figured out what's better yet, because I've been very hopeful and then VERY disappointed each time. This cycle, I'm gonna try for the "pretend like I'm not in the 2ww" approach to see how that goes.

    I hope this is it for you!

    Baby Blog
    BFP#1 5.27.10 DS became an angel at 21 weeks on 9.22.10
    BFP#2 4.16.11 Healthy baby girl born 12.14.11
    BFP#3 9.3.12 A healthy, bouncing baby SISTER on the way! EDD 5.12.13

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • Loading the player...
  • On a completely unrelated to TTC note, my brother-in-law was going through a bit of a rough patch which was going to culminate in a life altering decision that he had no control over.  I told him to "prepare for the worst" because then the let down would be less harsh.  His response was that he was going to be equally disappointed with the potential negative outcome so why would he make himself miserable during the wait?

    If you are anything like me, I would say take his advice...a BFN is a BFN no matter how you shake it and will sting no matter what.  So why not be hopeful in the meantime?

    BFP #1 4/07, 6/07 MMC 9w6d D&C | DX PCOS/annovulatory | BFP #2 (50 mg Clomid) 11/8/10, Natural MC 11/25/10 | Cycle #1 (50 mg Clomid) BFN | Cycle #2 (100 mg Clomid) BFN | Cycle #3 (100 mg Clomid & HCG trigger) BFN | Cycle #4 (100 mg Clomid, HCG trigger, & IUI)= BFN | Cycle #5 (150 mg Clomid, HCG trigger, & IUI) = BFP --> Beta #1 12DPO: 48, Beta #2 14dpo: 171, Progesterone: 105, Beta #3 19dpo: 2,418 BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • I've been bouncing between both - can't tell you which is worse, but both at once is a killer! I'm trying to to worry too much.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I say be hopeful until you're given a reason not to be!
  • I don't know. I think hoping can be both helpful and hurtful, but there's no way to stop yourself from hoping, so just go with it.

     

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • That's a tough call...both have been driving me crazy!  My sister is getting married so I'm making her a cross-stitch pattern that says "Today I married my best friend" with the names and wedding date.  Hopefully that'll help.

    I'm wishing everyone else in the 2ww luck.  FX!

    5/16/2005: M/C at 7 wks
    5/3/2010: MM/C at 7 wks 6 days
    5/25/2014: CP at 4 wks 3 days

    Because of the great "Snow"vember of 2015, my medicated cycle was cancelled.  However, we were blessed with our little rainbow baby due on 8/14/15!  Baby J had other plans and decided to make his grand ole entrance on 7/4/2015!

    Surprise!  Our little girl entered this world on 12/8/2016 after her eviction notice was long past due.  Our little turkey baby turned into a snow baby!  

                                                        
    Third times the charm!  BFP on 4/18/2019, EDD: 12/18/2019
    PgAL/PAL welcome
    PAIF/SAIF welcome too!

  • I have been/am so struggling with this.  I still haven't fully decided for myself, but I guess part of me always wants to be hopeful just because that's the kind of person I want to be and I don't want this journey to ultimately turn me into a negative person.  That's really, really hard and the disappointment is tough to swallow.  But I'm guess I'm leaning towards it being better to be hopeful.  


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFruit Ticker

    BFP #1 6.17.10 - natural M/C 5w2d
    BFP #2 8.4.10 - missed M/C, D&C 8w
    BFP #3 1.18.11 - natural M/C 5w1d
    BFP #4 5.6.11 - 13dpo: hcg 68, p 16.3; 16dpo: hcg 211,
    p16.6; 18dpo: hcg 416, p 15.6; 25dpo: hcg 6,007
    DS born 1/30/12
    BFP #5 4.28.13 - LO due 1/4/14

  • all I have is hope so that's what I'm sticking with. =)

    Good luck to you! I'm just barely in the 2ww myself. It's hard.

  • I'm sorry- I hope this is the one for you!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing today.  If I set myself up for a bfn than I would be super surprised for a bfp.  I'm just not feeling too hopeful.  The last couple cycles I thought for sure were the one, and weren't.  I can see ItsmeGin's out look on it too, but I would rather be surprised than let down.
  • I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much....like PPs I'd rather be suprised then let down.

    BTW- I'm stocked up on tampons, so if I make it to Sunday then I'll shell out & get a test.

    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • I guess you kinda have to be hopeful.  I've tried telling myself it wasn't going to happen, but I never really believe that.  I think distraction works best.  You're going to be hopeful, but if you can distract yourself and not obsess I think it's slightly less disappointing if you get a BFN.

    BFP#1: 7/23/10, EDD 4/1/11, MC/DNC 9/29/10(14wks) Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP#2: 1/12/11 CP (6 Weeks)
    BFP#3: 6/26/11, EDD 3/4/12, Natural MC 8/5/11 (10wks) Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • imageGilgenbach2007:
    Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing today.  If I set myself up for a bfn than I would be super surprised for a bfp.  I'm just not feeling too hopeful.  The last couple cycles I thought for sure were the one, and weren't.  I can see ItsmeGin's out look on it too, but I would rather be surprised than let down.

    This is the path I take. Sadly, I'm a "the glass is half empty" kind of person. I try not to get my hopes up because then I get so disappointed. I was pleasantly surprised by my last two pgs. Getting those two +hpts I wasn't expecting are moments I replay in my mind all the time. I was fully convinced it wasn't my month. It works for me Smile. In the end...you'll know what is best for you. FX that this is your month!

    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
  • imageitsmegin:

    I don't know. I think hoping can be both helpful and hurtful, but there's no way to stop yourself from hoping, so just go with it.

     

    This. I try not to get too worked up but it never works and I'm going to be dissapointed at a bfn no matter what... so why not be hopeful?

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I pick the lesser of two evils - being hopeful with the possibility of more disappointment.  Without hope, I don't think I would survive the 2WW.  hang in there and may this be the time your hope stays afloat!  FX for a BFP for you!
    TTC in May 2009.
    M/C July 2009.
    BFP #2 6/1/11(1st cycle on Clomid)
    Norah Lynn was born on 2/3/2012
    TTC again January 2014



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • I know exactly how you feel.  I go from hopeful to certain that this won't be our cycle.  People always tell me to be hopeful because positive energy can only help, but it is hard.  I think I am more scared about how I will handle the disappointment if this isn't our cycle.

    Hang in there, and know that you are not alone.

    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    ~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
    ~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
  • I'm pretty sure the 2ww is rotting my brain. I'm a glass half empty type when it comes to TTC- it's too hard for me to face the disappointment every month. Inevitably I will just cry about it and move on each month but it's not fun. I'd rather prepare for bad news and hope to be pleasantly surprised one of these months. Hang in there.
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
  • They both suck.
    12/13/10 BFP 12/23/10 Miscarriage 3/6/11 BFP EDD 11/09/11 11/03/11 C-Section at 39w1d for failure to progress on induction for HBP and GD Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Cincinnati Reds Pictures, Images and Photos image ~~~~~Everyone Welcome PgAL/PAL~~~~~~
  • I go through this every cycle. It's so hard. (((Hugs)))
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"