I'm done.

stillbaking · January 2011

I think I'm giving up on having a baby. I can't take the emotional roller coaster any longer. I can't take trying to get my DH to FWP when he doesn't want to/is too tired, or whatever. I hate my wonky cycles and the never knowing if I'm going to ovulate or not. I am tired of the doctors visits, the pressure and the stress. I'm done. I'm just done. I know in the grand scheme of things, we've only been really trying for not quite two years and so we haven't really been trying all that long, at least not compared to some. But it's been more than four years for me - thinking about getting ready to try, convincing my DH it was time to try, trying to get my body to cooperate. I'm tired of being the one who has to take my temp, monitor my cervical fluid, know that it's likely the right time to be FWP but not able to tell DH that it's go time, because he gets too stressed and can't perform, just to be turned down anyway because he's busy four nights of the week and too exhausted the rest. It makes me mad at him and him mad at me. I can't take thinking about this 24/7. I want to be able to go to the bathroom without examining the toilet paper - before O to see if there's EWCM and after O with the fear of seeing blood. I'm tired of crying all the time because I'm not pregnant and everyone else and their sister in my world seems to be. I'm done. I need to be happy with what I do have instead of always wishing for something I don't.

Thanks for all your support ladies. You've been amazing. I just can't do this anymore.

itsmegin · January 2011

Oh no, I am so sorry you are so frustrated, but I can totally understand why you would be.

I don't want you to go, but I do want you to take care of yourself and your sanity. I hope this decision brings you peace and happiness.

Please keep in touch on FB Left Hug

npilcher506 · January 2011

I am so sorry. It is such an emotional roller coaster! I am sendinh thoughts and prayers for comfort and healing your way! Good luck to you!!

KaitySueWho · January 2011

I am so sorry your feeling this way..((hugs)) You have to do what feels right for you. But do know that if sometime in the future you do change your mind we will always be here for you

iggy.d · January 2011

I'm sorry you are feeling so down and frustrated, but certainly understand the toll. Take care of you! ((hugs))

Tapatio · January 2011

I'm so incredibly sorry. My heart is aching for you! We all know how exhausting this whole process is. I hope you find some peace in your mind and heart. I'm sure it's a tough choice to make but you know what is best for you and your relationship. The board will be here if you ever change your mind ((huge hugs)).

smallfry5909 · January 2011

(((HUGS))) This makes me so sad. I hope your time away brings you some peace and comfort, but please know you are ALWAYS welcome back.

mizdiz444 · January 2011

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I hope you are able to find peace. ((((HUGS))))

opallover · January 2011

I am so sorry. (((hugs))) It really is so emotionally draining. (((hugs)))

PolyMama2Be · January 2011

I think with all "problems" sometimes it's time to step back and refocus. Maybe not even on TTC, just on life in general. Then, when and if you decide a baby is in your future, I guarantee you will have a much better perspective.

Best wishes to you for whatever life has in store (((HUGS)))

Oatoa · January 2011

I'm so sorry for the toll TTCAL has taken on you and your family. You're in my thoughts and my prayers. Good luck.

myaddiwaddi06 · January 2011

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. I can't imagine going through this for as long as you have and I can't imagine the frustration. Prayers of comfort are coming your way. (big hugs)

martinimomma · January 2011

Oh Suze, I am so sorry. ((Hugs)) and wishes for the best for you always.

You know where to find us if circumstances change (or you just want to visit).

jertie · January 2011

I'm sorry. I can hear the sadness in your post and I can understand how this whole process can tear someone down. I hope that you find comfort and peace - and know that we're always here for you. ((HUGS))

rosenb2b · January 2011

stillbaking:

I need to be happy with what I do have instead of always wishing for something I don't.

This sounds so easy but I find that it's ridiculously hard if not impossible! I'm sorry that you are frustrated to the point of giving up. I wish you the best with whatever your decision may be and of course, you know where to find us if you decide to come back! {HUGS}

anonomity · January 2011

I'm so sorry. I feel this way some days too and I haven't been trying nearly as long as you. I know you will definitely be missed around here, but you have to do what's best for you. I hope you can find some peace and figure out what's best for you. I'll be thinking of you. ((HUGS))

Kristipie · January 2011

I'm so sorry to read this. Take care of yourself. You will be missed and will always be welcomed back if you ever decide to return.

Fallon621 · January 2011

jertie:
I'm sorry. I can hear the sadness in your post and I can understand how this whole process can tear someone down. I hope that you find comfort and peace - and know that we're always here for you. ((HUGS))

This exactly! I teared up reading this and cant even imagine your pain and heartache. Wish nothing but the best for you!

jerryliljess · January 2011

I'm so sorry for your frustration! ((Hugs)) The board will always be here for you.

rock-elle · January 2011

My heart is breaking for you S, please stay around FB. :::::HUGS:::::

rock-elle · January 2011

My heart is breaking for you S, please stay around FB. :::::HUGS:::::

VeilSdeGTO · January 2011

I'm sorry it has come down to you feeling this way. I wish you the best and pray that you'll get your take home baby when you're not "trying." ((hugs))

MommyandKate · January 2011

I'm really sorry. We're here for you whenever you'd like to vent.

Gilgenbach2007 · January 2011

I'm so sorry that this has been such a long and tough journey for you. Good luck with whatever you decide to do next, and I hope you feel better soon. ((hugs))

cflocco · January 2011

So sorry you are feeling so frustrated. I am having one of those days too! Sending you tons of thoughts and prayers. {{{{{Huge Hugs}}}}

CashewsMommy · January 2011

((((hugs)))) I am so sorry hun!!! I know how hard all of this can be! Send me a message on FB any time you need to chat.

JulsW · January 2011

I am so sorry. (((HUGS)))

julesjb · January 2011

Im so sorry for how you are feeling, I have been there some days as well. I really dont want to see you go but want you to find happiness and some thread of peace with this process. Please lean on us when you need too.....

nikki04vb · January 2011

I understand your frustration. This whole process is emotionally draining. It does feel like DH is just a bystander and an uncooperative one at that most of the time. Maybe plan a vacation... an all-inclusive vacation.... lots of fruity cocktails. Take some time to yourself.

7/04Bride · January 2011

I'm so sorry you are so frustrated. I can understand why you'd be so stressed out. Maybe not trying will be what gets you pregnant with a sticky baby. I know...if only it were that easy, but you never know.

millejj1 · January 2011

I'm so sorry. This is a terrible journey. Big hugs!

Runnergirl2242 · January 2011

I have to say I so respect your honesty. Sometimes BD is not fun and it can be really stressful. I totally agree. I do feel the way that you are feeling sometimes. I get it. It can just be too much. I had a friend ask me when I will decide that I just cant torture myself like this any more. I told her I was not sure but I will know it when its time for a break. I think that breaks are not a bad thing. I respect that you know when you need some time off. I am sending a hug to you.

MrsAtch · January 2011

It breaks my heart that you are going through this. TTC is a crappy process and it can be absolutely draining emotionally. I'm so sorry that you are struggling, but please know that I'm thinking of you and sending you good energy. We are always here if you need to talk. (hug)

Eris-Alexis · January 2011

I'm so sorry. I can totally understand why you are frustrated. This whole process is so draining, and it is so much harder when circumstances keep getting in the way. Take care of yourself.