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browneyedgrl4282
member
Need some advice! (long)
browneyedgrl4282
member
We became friends with a couple who moved into our old house rental. They have three small children (all ages 4 and under) and after about a month of living there the husband lost his job. The wife, J, told me he was engineer and asked if my father in law (Dh and his uncle also work there) could give him a job since they use engineers. I gave the resume to him and we found out the guy was not an engineer and actually only a on the top trained drafts men. So my father in law (which SHOCKED ME) found a way to hire him but couldn't pay him what an engineer made. Well that was a right before Brady was born. Fast forward to more currently, the company my father in law is the president of was bought out and a lot of changes has happened. People who were hourly (like this man) were changed to salary, which really hurt all these guys because they worked a ton of over time. They aslo do not get personal or sick days, only vacation days. Some guys who were with the company for less than 5 years went from 3 weeks vacation, 5 sick days, and 3 personal days along with the week of christmas off. Now they get only 2 weeks and nothing else with a few holidays but no where near what the had.
Anyway, his wife is pregnant again and begs him to call out sick a lot and says she can't handle her three kids plus her brother in laws baby who they have temporary custody over since bother father and mother are in jail for drugs. Since the beginning of the year he has missed 5 days and people are starting to complain because he has also been late many time along with leaving early because the wife calls screaming. So last night I get a message on facebook from the wife saying in her exact words "B is very sick he will ON able to come to work plaece tell you are husband" Yes that is exactly what it said, I wasn't sure what the hell she was saying at first. So i responded asking her what she was telling me and if she was saying B was not coming to work. She answered back like "Yeah plaece tell then he very sick". Still puzzled to why she is telling me this and not contacting my father in law directly.
So today, B doesn't call anyone at the office or warehouse saying he wasn't coming in. DH said told his dad about the about the message, I got. FIL tried to call B but it said his phone is disconnected. So FIL asked me to call the wife and see if he is ok. Her phone was disconnected. They do not have a house phone either. So I noticed she was on facebook and she tells me they have no phone because it was disconnected and B is very sick. I told her that they need to talk to B either via phone or email because they have some questions about a job he is working on. That was 3 hours ago and they still have no contacted my FIL or husband. My FIL asked me to try to talk to the wife because the higher up people are starting to get pissed off at the amount of time he is taking off and the fact he didn't call the direct number or email.
What should I say to her? I have tried to explain this to her before that he can't just not go to work because she can't handle the kids. Honestly, if you can't handle what you have now, why are you pregnant again and why do you custody of someone elses kid? I really don't want to see him get fired and if that happens they will have nothing. B has told my husband they have no money and the bank account is in the negative. She even emailed me last week begging me to give her all my baby stuff since they can't afford to buy any. I asked her what she did with all her stuff since her youngest is only 2 this month! SHe said she threw it out. I told her i can't give her my stuff because I am not sure I am done and my cousin is borrowing it now. I am mostly concerned about the kids, one of which has speech problems. He will be 4 in May and his speech is at a level of maybe an 18 to 24 month old!
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Re: Need some advice! (long)
Wow, just wow.
In my opinion I would tell everyone involved that you will not be getting involved as a go between with these people about work and visa versa, there is no need why grown people can not call in sick the proper way and the company shouldn't be using you as a contact person. If they need to get a hold of him, drive to his house!
If she can not see the seriousness of all his calling in sick, it is not your fault. Unfortunately some people will never get it.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
I kinda feel like you have no responsibility in this. You shouldn't have to contact anyone about going to work if you aren't the boss. It seems like they are taking advantage of this situation and he's calling out (or not for that matter) whenever he wants.
Ugh, you don't need this stress.
I don't want to be the middle person! I told her her this morning, if he is calling out of work, he needs to contact either my FIL or his direct supervisor. She said he didn't have any of their email addresses and since they don't have a phone that is the only way of communicating. I did email them both the entire company email/phone list!
Ugh now she is asking if she can drop off 3 out of the 4 kids at my house so she can take B to the doctor. I am going to have to say no because I just can't risk them bringing in their germs!
Funny you should mention domestic dispute, when the lived in our old house the neighbors called police on them a few times because they would hear screaming from the house and DYFS (nj children's services) were involed as well. Not sure what came out of it. People thing the mother is abusive to the kids. Apparently she cleared though.
As far as language, she was born and raised in good old NJ by two very american english speaking parents. She has never admitted this but I believe she has some learning disablities.
I really don't need the stress! I do really worry about those kids because when you look at them they look like they are neglected in some ways. I can't tell you how many times she has asked me to watch them while she went to the doctor or when she had something on with the other kids, the first thing I wanted to do was throw them in the bath. They always look sloppy and have crusty crap on them. The little girl is so sweet and all she wants is someone to pay attention to her.
This! It's very strange that he isn't doing any of the communicating. Something seems very off in this situation.
IVF #1 - BFP (6dt)
Unassisted Pregnancy #2 - lost at 15w6d due to T21, severe heart defects, and fetal hydrops
Okay, first, all of this is so unbelievably unprofessional. I have no idea how this guy hasn't been fired yet. Second, 2 weeks of just vacation to use isn't really that bad for someone that hasn't been there that long. My husband works for one of the bigger, more recognized software engineering companies and after almost 7 years of employment, he gets 18 days of vacation. No sick/personal time. I call him only if both kids are sick and I am so sick puking my guts out that I can't safely handle it on my own.
And her being pregnant when she apparently can't even handle what she has? Uhh, sorry, not your problem, not his employers problem, not anyone's problem but their own. I would remove yourself from this whole situation ASAP.
I agree, I would tell her straight up that this is not your place to be the go btwn & if he cares about/wants to keep his job then he'd find a way to call his employer. Make it clear that you will no longer be relaying msgs back & forth btwn the 2 parties. GL - this sounds like a mess.
World_of_Dennifer
Bloomin'_Babies
Married/Nest_Bio
I begged her to apply for WIC but she refuses. SHe is still BF her 2 year old and now they have custody of his brothers kid she is BF him, which i think is just strange! She refuses to apply for any other aide, said they are make too much money! Which i know for fact is untrue since I know what he brings home. They are the time of people who try to be something they are not. I do know that in NJ they are not giving out anymore more section 8 until further notice. I did suggest she try to get a job at night or have him work a 2nd job. She said she can't leave the house because of BF her 2 year (which at 2 he should be eating everything any other 2 year old eats) and she won't let him work another job because she would rather stab her eyes out than be home that much longer with all the kids!
It kills me to hear say this stuff because he just looks at her and she get pregnant, while I have to go through IVF! Grr!
LOL,we aren't neighbors! They moved in to my hold house, which they got kicked out of!
Needless to say it is a mess and I am avoiding her messages!