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Working Moms
Tough being a WM with no family around during cold/flu season
I just got a call that DD is sick with a fever again. This happened to us last week too, and though she was fever-free all weekend, I guess she picked up more germs at school today. So this means we will need to keep her home tomorrow and hope she is better by Wednesday. DH has really been picking up the slack and working from home because I just started my job last month and I had to take a sick day myself last week when I had the stomach bug. My boss understands that I have a young child who will get sick, but I see students all day long who set up appointments with me weeks in advance and if I'm not here, it is hard to find someone else who can cover for me because they all have their own appointments, meetings, etc. I know DH can't stay home every time and I really want to do my part too. I wish we had some local family who could help us out in at least some of these situations. My mom lives 2.5 hours away and will help out if we're really in a bind, but I want this to be my last resort. Any friends I have who SAH have young kids also and I'm sure they don't want me bringing my sick child over to infect their LOs. We have sitters but they wouldn't be available on short notice - one of them has regular nanny gigs, the other is in school during the day and our other sitters work at her school. I know we need to figure out some kind of backup plan, but I have no idea how I would even find something like this. Any advice is welcome.
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Re: Tough being a WM with no family around during cold/flu season
could you split days w/ your husband - or maybe work a 1/2 day at home w/ your LO? Do you have to be at the office to do your meetings? Maybe the students would be willing to either do them over the phone or in the evenings?
It does suck when LO has a fever and is a "little" sick so she can't go to daycare, but at the same time, I hate to burn my leave on it too - especially if I've already taken a lot.
Does your employer have back up care? We have back up drop in care and a back up "sick nanny" care that will come to your house and watch your LO. I haven't used it yet b/c my DH and I have always been able to stay home or my mom and MIL are always around if I really need it too.
Not sure if I have much advice. I have found at times some ladies from church who are retired, or just stay home are willing to help. Other then that, this is more of a "I hear you" reply. Since Jan 1 I have been sick twice, DH once and DD has had two ear infections. At one point we were all sick. Both our families live 10 hrs away. It is so hard not having them around at this time of year!
I don't have a ton of advice to offer - but wanted to send you hugs and support. We are in a similar situation with no help anywhere to be found and I totally understand how difficult it can be. I swear, I have to take a day or two off or work from home at least once every other week.
What helps me cope is that when I talked to our pediatrician about the constant illness, she told me "just survive until April". She assured me that if we can survive the first cold and flu season, it won't be nearly as bad next year. That bit of advice helps me survive - just 2 more months until April!
Good Luck!
Big hugs from me! LO has had RSV for the past week and although I work from home full time-- I have struggled with this big time! When he is home with me and not feeling well-- all he wants is to be held-- which means I am useless work wise. I cant send emails or take calls. It is really hard to deal with-- so I can totally sympathize with you.
Could you maybe find an old woman (retired/grandma age) that would maybe more available on a last minute basis? Probably easier said than done- i know!
Hang in there- hopefully spring is on its way!!!
No advice, just commiseration.
We are thousands of miles from all of our family, so there is zero back-up for sick days. We just make it work, luckily DH is able to split the time with me.
Whenever I have a sick day with DS, I try to make it as fun as possible. Snuggles with movies, stay in our PJs, etc. It turns out that I won't spend my vacation days on the beach but rather in my own home with a sick baby, so I try to look at them as occasional bonding days and make the most of it.
Honestly, do your best and call your mother for help once in a while. I would do that in a heartbeat if my mom were within driving distance. You won't do it all the time but once in a while I bet she wouldn't mind.
For a back-up plan, you could look for someone with older kids (school-age) and maybe they could watch your child for a half day while their kids are in school. You could go to work for part of the day and then be home the rest of the day.
No advise here either. We have a baby sitter in our apartment complex who watches our DS and my cousin in-law's two daughters. My SD is in pre-k and can go there when the school is closed. But what happens when your sitter is sick?
That's our problem right now. She went to the doctor and was told not to be around the kids for another three days, at least. So us and CIL had to collaborate together and decide who could take off work the easiest. CIL will take off tomorrow, and my DH is off work Wednesday and Thursday. I make the most and get the most hours (though my job is more flexible in calling in because of children and being sick) out of the bunch, so we all agreed I should not take off work unless I had to.
It's hard, for sure! We actually have both families (parents, sibs, aunts/uncles, etc.) in town, but everyone works or is in school full-time, so barring a crisis, it's still us on duty. DD started daycare a few weeks ago and missed her whole second week because of a nasty bug (105 degree fever, horrible cough, etc.)
Luckily, I only work three days/week and both DH and I have pretty flexible/understanding jobs. But it's still super stressful!
Yeah, it sucks. Our family lives far away also. DS1 has been pukey sick twice this season. I still send them with colds as long as they don't have a fever or are not lethargic.
MH owns his own business and can watch A kid up there as long as they were not too sick. When we have two sick kids, its out of the question.
I have a pretty flexible job & can do some work from home and can still keep some meetings if MH can take sick child to work for an hour or so.
We used to have his sister in town (she moved when my oldest was one year)... it was nice to have her around.
I really wouldn't do this if my child was sick but I do have back up well care---A MDO at church. If DD is out of school and I have to work, its cheaper to send her to MDO rather than daycare.