Can a 23 month old stay behind?

Water_Wedding · January 2011

DH was telling me about a conference in Berlin for 2012. He proposed that I come along and my mom babysit DS. My mom would be thrilled but I wonder how DS would feel about this. At 23 months is there separation anxiety? Even if there isn't, grandma can't visits a week at a time a few times a year so would DS consider her a stranger? I'd love some insight as I daydream about Europe...

cactus5 · January 2011

How long is the conference? It really depends on the child, but I am pretty sure my son would do fine if it was only for a week or so.

MainelyFoolish · January 2011

I would have had no trouble leaving behind my DD for a few days at that age.

jnksmom · January 2011

DS and DD have both stayed with my parents for 3-5 days and both have done great!! I think it depends on the child and how long the conference is. DS does really well for up to 5 days but on day 5 he is asking for mommy. DD could stay at my parents house for 2 weeks and be totally fine.

JOEBunny · January 2011

I would ditch my DS in a heart beat if my mom would take him. My DD always did fine and she got left for weekends with my mom, my SIL, my aunts, ect. DS does fine for anyone, as long as he is with his sister.

Shozzies · January 2011

DD only sees my mom a few times a year and did great spending the weekend with her a couple months ago. She kind of has separation anxiety. She will throw a tantrum if I leave even if it's just to go to the bathroom. She is not shy with strangers at all. Once I'm gone and the tantrum is over, she's usually fine. At my moms, I just left without her seeing me go and she was fine. She was around new people and occupied enough that she didn't even notice that I left. The next morning she asked where's mama and where's dada. My mom told her we were at home and she went about her day.

I would go. I would suggest having your mom stay at your house if that's possible. DD is very weird about sleeping in her own bed. She can't be rocked to sleep anymore and can climb out of her pack n play. We tried to leave her with my mom more recently, but she couldn't get her to sleep and we ended up having to pick her up in the middle of the night.

jallen76 · January 2011

My DS had severe separation anxiety and he was such a momma's boy. We left him with my sister for a week last May when we went to Europe. He was fine, he was only 19 months old at the time. We left them with IL's for a week when he was 23 months old to go out west. Again, he was fine.

Go for it! Enjoy your time away with DH!

Water_Wedding · January 2011

jallen76:
My DS had severe separation anxiety and he was such a momma's boy. We left him with my sister for a week last May when we went to Europe. He was fine, he was only 19 months old at the time. We left them with IL's for a week when he was 23 months old to go out west. Again, he was fine.

Go for it! Enjoy your time away with DH!

Yay!! The conference is a few days but it would be nice to be away for the week to visit Prague too since it's nearby. Thanks ladies. DH is on a business trip now actually, and DS and I are cooped up since it's truly frigid outside. I'll start fantasizing about an adults only trip now...

lilone_06 · January 2011

For me, it would depend on how long you'd be gone. If less than, say, a week, I think that's do-able, but I wouldn't feel right leaving them for longer. But that's just me, I'm weird like that - DH is lobbying to leave them for longer but I just can't bring myself to do it! That said, I've only ever left mine for a night.

I guess it's just a personal decision. I totally understand you wanting to go, though, that sounds like an incredible opportunity to see Europe!

MrsBalletStar05 · January 2011

DS#1 only sees a lot of our relatives a couple times a year. I remember one visit he was (initially) freaked out by my parents, but I think we've had 3 visits since that time and now he runs to them and is excited to see them - even if he hasn't seen them for months and months. In fact, one time it was almost a year between the last visit and he didn't skip a beat - ran right to them and gave them hugs, ect.

I think it depends on the kid. I know DS#1 would, emotionally, be perfectly FINE if he were left with a grandma.

Me on the other hand... Indifferent haha. Longest I've left him is a full 24 hours. And the baby hasn't ever stayed anywhere over night.

Temp174496125006552 · January 2011

Even though the longest I've ever been away from Ben is for one night, at 23 months, he probably would have been ok to stay with my mom (who he sees at least once a week) and dad for 6 or 7 days. I don't think I could have left him any longer than that because I would miss him terribly. The longest that I was ever away from Jordan was 8 days when DH and I were on our honeymoon. She was 13 at the time, and I missed her a lot too, despite her raging hormones and attitude.

DevonPow · January 2011

Sure. DH and I went to Paris for a week when DS was around that age - my MIL came and stayed with him. She lives in the midwest so he only sees her a few times a year, but he was fine.

Water_Wedding · January 2011

MrsBalletStar05:
DS#1 only sees a lot of our relatives a couple times a year. I remember one visit he was (initially) freaked out by my parents, but I think we've had 3 visits since that time and now he runs to them and is excited to see them - even if he hasn't seen them for months and months. In fact, one time it was almost a year between the last visit and he didn't skip a beat - ran right to them and gave them hugs, ect.
I think it depends on the kid. I know DS#1 would, emotionally, be perfectly FINE if he were left with a grandma.
Me on the other hand... haha. Longest I've left him is a full 24 hours. And the baby hasn't ever stayed anywhere over night.

That's awesome. I've been wondering if he's doomed to have a lukewarm relationship with relatives that love bin to pieces due to the distance and it's wonderful to see it's not necessarily the case.

I understand not wanting to be away especially as a new mom! I had pictured myself taking DS until DH proposed otherwise.

pinksweetpea2 · January 2011

Lily was very aware who all of her grandparents are at 23 months and only sees them a handful of times a year.

We actually left Lily with my Mom for 10 days (we had to attend a wedding in MD and then another in CA the following weekend and decided to take a weeks vacation in between) when she was about 21 months and she did awesome! We "talked" on the phone every day and did skype once and she pretty much had a blast with my Mom.

susanmosley · January 2011

I'll be the odd man out. We couldn't do it at that age. I mean, DD would be fine - as in safe & well taken care of, but I don't think she would be great. I am entirely too attached/neurotic to be that far & unavailable. In the situation you give, we would, however, be likely to take her w/ us.

wifeandmama · January 2011

susanmosley:
I'll be the odd man out. We couldn't do it at that age. I mean, DD would be fine - as in safe & well taken care of, but I don't think she would be great. I am entirely too attached/neurotic to be that far & unavailable. In the situation you give, we would, however, be likely to take her w/ us.

hAHA, Fellow crazy mom here!

Notwifezilla7 · January 2011

While I haven't done it yet, I know my children would be in capable hands with my parents. My girls absolutely adore my mom and dad and I know they would be well taken care, our house, now that's another issue. I don't think I could stomach that! (DH is a neat freak borderline OCD, while my dad is on the brink of being a hoarder!) I would be more worried about what we would be coming home to then if our girls were okay!

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