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Confession: Today I wish I could just give up my career :(

meechrobimeechrobi
in Success after IF

Ladies- this is just a big ol'vent/whine, but I am exhausted. I have just had it with work. I feel like I am failing miserably at being a mom, a wife and a good employee and I really feel like something has to give. I know my feelings today are compounded by the fact that I am coming down with a cold and getting my period, but I am literally at my breaking point.

Liam has been sick with RSV, so I have had to take time off of work. I am trying to keep him home and keep up with emails as they come in (I work from home full time as an account manager). Liam is obviously not feeling well so super super whiny and at one point I was trying to get something work related done (for a deadline later this week) and he was just at my feet whiny and reaching for me. Then my instant messenger started lighting up and I just lost it. (Lost it is a sense of I just needed to walk away-- from everything- my computer, Liam, everything).

I cant do it anymore. I dont know how to balance it all. I just dont. I have worked hard to get to this point, I make good money, but when it gets to a point where I cant just spend a day holding my sick child- whats it all worth? I cant just quit- we need my salary, but I just dont know what to do.

No real point- just needed to get it out.

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Re: Confession: Today I wish I could just give up my career :(

  • BelleBabyBelleBaby member

    I think we all have days like this whether you're a working mom or a SAHM.  Sometimes just enough things happen at the same time and you reach your limit.  I had some of that this weekend.  My DH was "sick" (by a man's definition of sick) so he just stopped everything and slept all day, both days and left me to take care of the boys and do laundry and all of the other things I have to get done during the weekend because I work.  The boys are incredibly into mommy these days and are very competitive for my attention.  There were times I couldn't even eat my own food because they were climbing all over me. 

    So to get a breather I forced DH to keep an eye on them for a few minutes because I said I had to go to the bathroom.  I locked myself in there for a good 10 minutes just reading my Nook!  It was enough time for me to reset and go back to taking care of the boys.  I just needed to get away for a minute or two. 

    You're always welcome to vent.  We've all been there.  Tons of hugs.  Hang in there.  Liam will be better soon and work will get easier.  Sometimes it seems like all of that bad stuff just hits at the same time!

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  • dusk42dusk42

    I know what you mean - and sometimes I just have to unplug from something (obviously not the sick child in this case).  Even though I work from home, I do ask DH to take sick days to help take care of DD if she is sick - it is way easier for him to take off than for me, but it never occurs to him because I am home anyway.  
     
    Hope he is feeling better soon! 
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  • sourpopsourpop
    ((hugs))
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  • lnlelnle
    (((hugs))) right there with you.
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  • JillRock96JillRock96 member
    I'm sorry.  :(  It is HARD to juggle it all.  I'm lucky in that when I need a day off for the girls, I can just take it.  But, I'm often fielding calls and e-mails during the day to reschedule meetings I'm missing or let another counselor in on a situation with a student of mine that is in crisis.  And then, of course, when I return, all the work I should have done the day I was out is there waiting for me.  Sometimes we just need a break -- there's no shame in just walking away for a few minutes to take a breather.  (((HUGS)))
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  • desabeandesabean member

    I'm sorry you are having such a rough day.

    I cannot imagine working from home at a job that requires timely responses and work at a dedicated time of the day (as opposed to someone who freelances for example and can do their work only during nap times and after bedtime).  When I am at home I want to spend time with my kid (and she wants me to spend time with her) so for me, working outside of the home is the only way it works (not that I have the option...)But yes-- when your baby is sick, people need to know you aren't working and you will get back to them during naptime.  That's not negotiable.

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