Facebook "rules" question..

GoMommy · January 2011

So my parents are very much into the whole social networking thing. Now I'm on facebook and have pics of us up there from vacations and my belly as I get bigger and will prolly post some pics of our little man on there as well.. But I don't want tons of pics on my mom's page (she has all kinds of friends that are just for the games.. so she doesn't even know them, etc) So I'm trying to figure out how to let her know I don't want her to go crazy with posting pics and where the line is. They know not to put anything about me being in labor, at the hospital or that the baby has come until we are home (so 2 or 3 days later) and I don't details of the birth on FB. No naked pics, and not every thing he does needs to be on there.. does that sound good.. what are you ladies doing or do I just need to relax and not care?

Also she joined a group on facebook for people who are having babies in 2011... really? I get she is excited.. but she isn't have a baby... Sorry I saw that and it kinda bugged me...

flypink · January 2011

My mom, sister, all my in-laws, and grandparents are on FB! It's nuts. I miss FB when it was just me and my college classmates.

Anyway - I told my mom (who will be in the delivery room) that her phone is completely off limits. NO posting at all. Mostly because I don't think it's fair for the other family members to see pictures of the baby on Facebook before they get a chance to meet him in person.

I'll also tell my sister and in-laws no pictures on FB until grandparents and friends get to see the baby.

kiribeckwith · January 2011

My mom 'announced' my pregnancy on facebook before we had the chance to tell anybody else in my family. It was a huge incident. Especially because we were out of town, drove for a half hour to use a pay phone to call her and tell her specifically since she's my mom, and didn't call anybody else. We had a large amount of angry voicemails after that and still hear about the 'facebook' incident at family events.

Now she doesn't get any information until we've talked to all ot my husband's family and mine... she's last on the list.

GoMommy · January 2011

Oh yea, during delivery my mom will be in the room also and I have told her NO PHONE AT ALL.. or she will be kicked out. So she knows that.. and like I said, they aren't allow to put anything about the baby until we are out of the hospital, but the no putting pics on until everyone gets to see him a good idea.

AACraven85 · January 2011

This post definitely made me think- my SIL is picture happy and I really don't want a bazillion pics of LO posted on her page hours after leaving the hospital. Which is likely. I guess I will just live and let live though... but if any pictures were inappropriate, or completely unflattering (I'm sure I'll look like hell) I will ask her or have my husband ask her to remove them. Besides that, overzealous relatives can be annoying but I think you kind of have to learn to pick your battles or it'll drive you insane.

christyp80 · January 2011

This is making me LOL!! I can't believe that your moms are all completely into fb. My mom joined facebook recently, and the first thing she did was put all of her options to the most conservative privacy settings, so much so that no one could search for her, see any pictures, see anything or post anything on her wall, etc. Then she wondered why she doesn't have any friends and why fb is so boring and nothing ever happens on her page. She also gave me a bunch of grief because I had a picture of my 6 year old niece up on my page. She apparently thinks that a picture viewable only by my friends = automatic child abduction.

Annierose1 · January 2011

I could be wrong, but I think I remember facebook having an option to either have your pictures "public" or "private." If you choose private I think you can select who gets to see them. You may want to look into that and educate your parents so they aren't plastering pics of your kid all over for the world to see.

As far as parents making inappropriate posts, my ILs posted last year that my BIL and SIL were expecting before they even got a chance to tell anyone. That is how DH and I found out. Everyone was pretty upset especially my BIL and SIL which is understandable. What made it even worse is that they ended up losing the baby. When we got pregnant we waited 3 months to tell DH'S parents and made them swear they wouldn't post anything on facebook.

Facebook is fun to keep in touch with old friends and family, but I never use it to make big announcements and I wish other people would do the same!

Shanin8 · January 2011

This is bound to be a huge issue for my mother and me also. She is facebook crazy. When my sister had her baby, his picture was on fb 5 mins later! I told my mom that nothing is to be put on FB until I do it...and then...we are only allowing my camera for pictures. That way, after the birth, I will go through the pictures and post only the ones I want to post.

She went out and bought a new camera this weekend and I have a feeling she is going to want to use it, but I have already laid the ground rules that my camera is the only one in the room.

greyt00 · January 2011

You can do a LOT with the security on FB. 2/3 of my FB friends still don't know I'm pregnant (we've been through a lot and I've had a lot of fears, so keeping things on the d/l a little has helped me). Or if they know it's because someone else told them, not me, because any prego/baby related things I post go to a select list of people only. Of course, that doesn't really help if you're concerned about other people posting stuff that they have or see. But anyway, I absolutely cannot WAIT to post a status update on FB for ALL my friends to see, that my baby boy is here! Sure it won't be the first priority of course, but I plan to get on my DH's phone and post an update before we leave the hospital as long as all is well. But only after my parents come in to see us. I didn't let my mom post anything or tell anyone until I hit 20 weeks (I was ready to tell extended family at that time, so that's how a few of them found out, which is fine because we don't talk to them that often anyway so it wasn't considered rude).

misskassielynn · January 2011

I would honestly just talk to your mom and explain specifically about the friends for games that she doesn't really *know.* I think that is the best angle to approach it because then it sounds like you are worried about people you don't know, not your mom being fb crazy (which may or may not be true, but at least this might smooth it over a bit!).

My mom is somewhat the same way (especially with the games, and I play MMO's and Bump so I kinda get having friends you don't *really* know, but it still seems weird), but luckily for this, sucky for everything else, she lives on the other side of the country so we won't have to worry about a ton of pictures.

You can bet your butt she will re-post every picture I have in a new album on her page though, she already does this! If its tagged of me, it goes in the "Kassie Lynn brag book" that she has, which means every picture on facebook has a duplicate >.< I am sure there will be a "Sullivan James Brag Book" the second he is born.

magdalina.h · January 2011

I told my mom no pics and no posting his name until I get to do it. After that I'll keep an eye on her page and if there is something up that I don't want (like a naked picture) I'll ask her to take it down.

JCragg · January 2011

Wow. I'm so glad my parents are like this, it's me that is FB crazy but not like that. I was just thinking about how we would go about it. Because our parents will be there at the hospital (NOT in the room, but outside after delivery and my sister maybe - if she happens to be in town). I won't post anything until my mom and his mom have called everyone they want to (probably when we get home), but now i'm scare my aunts will write something like congrats on my wall before I get to post the announcement/send email and photos to my good friends and clients. I guess I could just turn off the wall feature.

Mrs.Jocelyn2007 · January 2011

Hi GoMommy - maybe you could tell your mom that you will send her the pics you feel comfortable with her posting? And you could also mention to her that you'd prefer to be the one controlling pics of your son online, so if she wants her close friends to see updates, have her friend suggest them to you. You could accept her friends with privacy restrictions, but give them access to the photo albums of your son. Just trying to think of solutions here... good luck!

JessiRaye · January 2011

This makes me happy my parents aren't facebook happy. Heck, they don't even use a digital camera. My inlaws are always snapping too many pics and emailing them out etc. I plan on telling them to hold off on FB or emailing until we are ready though. I get that they will be excited but we want to be the ones to share pictures and info:)

TiffanyTheMom · January 2011

My mom is really into FB and has even 'stolen' some of my overseas friends so she could play Mafia Wars and talks to them more than I do trying to be the cool mom!!

Thankfully, my mother won't be there. If she was, I'd have to have her leave her cell phone at my house since she'd be visiting. And, I have all my photo albums set to where only immediate friends can see them, not friends of friends. NO way. And if my mom tries to tag herself in any pictures so she can share pictures of 'her' baby, I'll delete her as a friend. My mom goes a little too nuts with calling my children her babies, and I hate that some of her FB friends who don't know I'm her daughter actually think my children are hers.

njmoh · January 2011

Since we are team green I asked that they all wait until calls are made to the immediate family. We use it to communicate with all our extended family so I have no problems

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