Success after IF

Sad....Nanny started today :(

Our nanny started today and I'm having such a hard time.  I knew this day was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier.  DH and I both work from home, so we've been tag-teaming baby care for the last 2 months since I started back after maternity leave.  But he is likely going back into an office soon, and we really needed the help during the day, in order for us to actually focus on work.  And, I know I am lucky to be able to work from home, but in some ways it's harder.  I can hear them playing downstairs and it makes me sad that it's with her and not me.  I feel like this is so much harder after going through IF....it breaks my heart for someone else to be caring for the children I so desperately wanted for so long.  But, we need my income, so until that changes, we will have to have help.  I'm sure many others of you have been through this as well....whether it's day care, nannies, parents who help, etc.  Please tell me it gets easier :(
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Re: Sad....Nanny started today :(

  • HUGS...

    I work from home occasionally and I almost think it's easier having them in DC rather than a nanny... that way, I don't feel the urge to go "check in on them".  I'm not sure if I would be able to handle listening to someone else playing with my kids.

     

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  • I didn't have the same feelings of sadness when my nanny started so cannot tell you that gets easier but will say that we have had the same nanny for ~3 years and they become a part of your family.  My daughter so loves our nanny and she is such a trusted member of our family that I love having someone with her every day giving my daughter 1:1 attention and love and that I can see the interaction when I do want and that my daughter is in our home (although they get out a lot to classes, play dates, park trips, etc).  It's healthy for your child(ren) to spend time with others and is really good for their social development....hope that helps a little but I really cannot imagine NOT having our nanny in our life she's been so amazing.
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  • After a while, I changed from feeling sad to super happy that DD has yet another person in her life that she loves to spend time with.  Today, I had to go into work for a meeting (usually I work Saturdays and not Mondays), and my nanny and her husband took DD to storytime and then out to lunch and then met me back at my office for me to take her home.  She had an awesome time.  The grandparents aren't local, so it's nice to have multiple people for her to hang out with on a regular basis.  
     
    Hugs! 
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  • ((HUGS)). I started back to work today, so it was the first day I left DS home all day with our new nanny.  It was tough, but I agree that I think it would be harder if I worked from home.  I do that sometimes, but I bet I'll do it less and less now that he's here (at least if I intend on getting stuff done!)

    It will get easier.  I hope. 

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  • when I was much younger (and skinner, lol) I was a nanny for a mom that worked at home. She had a very demanding job, actually, and couldn't be bothered when she was "at work" so my sidebar is actually just to make sure you're communicating with your nanny when you want to be bothered, and when you don't. I remember Julia was seconds from walking and I was like "OMG, do I stomp on the floor and yell for mom or what?" it was really hard being a nanny with the mom home.

    As for being a working mom missing your kids, I'm of no help. I leave my kid at my mom's for even 4 hours and I am RACING home to get her. I'm addicted. The good news is the kids have no concept of time and love you none the less ;-)

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  • imagedusk42:

    After a while, I changed from feeling sad to super happy that DD has yet another person in her life that she loves to spend time with.  Today, I had to go into work for a meeting (usually I work Saturdays and not Mondays), and my nanny and her husband took DD to storytime and then out to lunch and then met me back at my office for me to take her home.  She had an awesome time.  The grandparents aren't local, so it's nice to have multiple people for her to hang out with on a regular basis.  
     
    Hugs! 

    This, so much.  It definitely gets easier.  While I hate that someone else spends so much time with my girls instead of me, our nanny has really become part of our family.  I am amazed almost daily by the things that she teaches Ava that I haven't even thought of.  For example, every time they walk up and down the stairs, they count them -- so Ava is a pro at counting from 1 to 10.  Ava also randomly started naming shapes last week (correctly!), which we haven't worked on at all.  I'm also so grateful to have someone else in our lives to love my girls, since our families live so far away.  It's still bittersweet for me to leave every day, but I know they are well cared for and are having a blast.  It also gives me an opportunity to "miss" them everyday, and I know that I appreciate them more when I'm home (not speaking for WM vs. SAHM -- just for me personally when I work vs. when I've stayed home).

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