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Blended Families
NBFR: Would you open the door?
I was lurking over on the Nest, and saw a post about opening the door for a stranger.
From what I read, a woman came to the door, was drunk and shivering at 2:30am. The OP opened the door and let her in, and her DH ended up driving the girl to meet her mom.
If someone knocked on your door at 2am, would you help them?
I grew up in Detroit, which breeds a natural distrust of people. If someone knocked on my door at that time I would assume they were up to no good, and possibly were a decoy for more people to jump in a rob/rape/kill me. I would call the police, and let them know someone needed help, but I wouldn't open the door.
Even though I live in a relatively safe area now, a drunk homeless guy got picked up one door down from me (in an apartment complex). Especially now that I'm a mother, I just couldn't take the risk with my kids in the house.
So, would you open the door?
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Re: NBFR: Would you open the door?
No way jose! I'm pretty paranoid even when DH is home. I don't know how I ever lived by myself for two years before I moved in with him! I blame all of the serial killer/rapist books I used to read. lol
That being said, we don't live in the nicest area right now so we would have a legitimate reason to be extra cautious if someone were to knock on our door in the middle of the night. I would probably do the same as PP, just call the police and have them help the person.
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I would do exactly as you would. I can't just try to be nice to people now that I have children. However, I think of if I were ever SOMEHOW in that situation and in distress and needed help and no one would help me.
A little related to this, I was leaving bed bath and beyond the other day, and a man started walking towards me as I was getting in my car. I had put the baby in on her side (which she is on the passenger back seat so I can get to her easy if need be) and I was opening my door. The man said 'excuse me miss do you have any money so I can eat?'. I was frantically pushing the lock button on my keychain because he was on Lilly's side. I was panicked. Then all these things ran through my head of what I needed to do if he got in my car with the baby (because my doors wouldn't lock!) and just frantically searched my wallet for a couple dollars. I stretched and handed it to him and got in my car as quick as I could. I realized later that my car won't let me lock the doors if one door is open. It was very scary, even though I know I could have taken care of myself, that feeling of your child being in possible danger just made me sick to my stomach. I should have just gotten in my car and locked the doors but I was trying to get him away from the baby's door since I knew the doors weren't locking. Hindsight is 20/20.
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No.
We live in a pretty safe area, but there's just no way. When I'm home with the kids, I don't open the door to anyone I don't know. MH might, but I wouldn't--and he'd be pretty pissed at me if I did.
It was 9* here last night. If I saw a drunk young girl on my porch at 2:30 in the morning, I would most def. help her. I would call 911 but I would have brought her in my house. Now, I am sure that H would have taken his gun to the door to check who it was, but there is no way I would leave a young girl, who is clearly in need of help on my porch at 2:30 am in the freezing cold.
Now, if I was home alone, I might be more hesitant to open the door, but I would at least crack open the window and ask what I could do to help them. After I called 911 of course.
What if it was your child that needed help?
Ha DH will be so please this topic came up. I NEVER lock my door and I NEVER think before I swing it right open. DH came home the other day, walked in, up the stairs and into the bathroom (I was in the shower) before I even realized he was home. He is so paranoid he usually locks the door from the outside if I will be home alone.
In fact he is at the gym and I am sitting in my living room and my door is not locked right now (it's 8.30pm).
I really should be more careful. Note to self.
2.30am at my door, I would know it was a ploy. I live way out in the country side so no I would not open it then.
Not sure if this is fortunate or not, but at 2am... I'm in sleepy time la la land!
Ok, the dog would bark if they rang the bell... darn it! And then I would wake up. I'd prob talk to the person with the door shut and call 911 to help them out. But I'd prob have DH go down and see who was there.
We have LOTS of people who go into peoples' homes and rob them when people are there! It's been crazy lately, so no, I would not let them in. Also, last year, we had a knock on the door at 11pm and it was the cops-neither of us were planning to go answer the door. Turns out, they wanted us to stay away from our front windows as they were getting a bank robber. Of course, we watched out from another set of windows like kids watching their fav tv show!
I grew up in Memphis, and I've only been in this small, everyone knows your name town since I was 18.I learned some scary lessons back then that have made me very wary of people I don't know, and it plays a major factor, I think, in the reason I am so standoffish and reluctant to meet new people or take to new friends.
When I was 10, something very traumatic happened in my life (will not go into it), and it resulted in three attempted kidnappings over a year's time, starting when I was 15 years old. My mom had a predictable weekend night shift schedule, and apparently someone had been watching our house long enough to know my patterns. What time I let the dogs out at night before I walked next door to my grandparents to spend the night. Not once, but three times, the same person tried to grab me. I never could identify the person, but I could tell what kind of vehicle it was. My mom didn't believe me, and the police said without plates there was nothing they could do to find him. He spaced his attempts out over a year, so watching my house did nothing, too.I had just turned 16 when the guy made his last attempt. He actually drove his truck up into my yard this time, and jumped out of it, running towards me. I yelled for my dog, and she ended up chasing him off, and gave me time to get back in the house.
So no, I do NOT open the door for people I don't know. Even if I know I've seen them in my apartment complex and assume they are neighbors, I do NOT open my door.
DH, on the other hand, is a very friendly guy who is always willing to help everyone, and as a result everyone and their brother's cousin's friend's step-aunt shows up our door step for something. He'll do anything in the world for someone. Granted, he also has a shotgun in our bedroom and baseball bat in the coat closet by the front door. He might have a gun in his hand when he answers the door, but he'll probably end up helping you out.
I would hope someone would help them, obviously, but I would understand them calling 911 vs. letting them in.
From what it looks like, on both the responses here and the other responses I read across the Bump/Nest, it seems tied to where you grew up.
My roommate sophmore year of college was CONSTANTLY leaving the doors/windows/her car unlocked. It was one of the main reasons I ended up moving into my own apartment. She grew up way out in the country, in a town where everyone knew everyone, and you left your doors open in case the neighbors needed to borrow something. I grew up where you put 17 locks on your door, didn't leave your house after dark unless absolutely necessary, and you assume any person you see on the street has the intention of doing you harm.
It's a f*cked up world we live in :P