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Could use some wise SAIF advice - sad

ShannonSkyShannonSky member
in Success after IF
DH and I have a friend from church and she just found me on FB and added me. When I looked through her pics, I found tons of baby pics, and an album full of memorial tattoos. Apparently her little boy died at about 6 weeks. Clearly she's open about it, since she has all these photos up and a huge tattoo on her back, but I've never heard her mention it (and we do talk quite a bit at church and at the young adults' group). I tried to google, but couldn't find any obit or anything, except for the first line to an article about his death that I couldn't find the rest of. I feel like if I were in her position, I'd want my child to be remembered, so I'm thinking of messaging her to say how beautiful he was and how sorry I am. On the other hand, it's been 2.5 years, and I don't want to rock the boat, either. Is there any right thing to do in this circumstance?
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Re: Could use some wise SAIF advice - sad

  • dundasgirldundasgirl
    I think you should be completely honest and say what you said here.  You are happy that you became friends on facebook and were looking at her pictures.  That you are very sorry to learn about her loss.  2.5 years is not a long time when you are still dealing with a major tradegy.  My Mom died a year ago and it feels like last month sometimes.
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  • stepgirl21stepgirl21 member
    I would probably wait until she brings it up and then tell you how you saw the FB pictures and how sorry you are for her loss.

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  • TheSkimmyTheSkimmy member
    I would also acknowledge her child. It's not like she will be mad at you for sending well thoughts.
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  • schmoodleschmoodle member
    I would say something. We lost our twins almost 3 years ago and many who wouldn't otherwise know likely only know because we have their portrait on my FB and they are listed under my "children". I am incredibly touched when someone who didn't know reaches out to me based on learning of them via my FB page and acknowledges them.
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