Are any of you already planning to be "one and done"?

COMomma81 · January 2011

Just curious if some of you already know you only want one child. To be honest, I had reached a point that I really thought I wanted to be done after one. Life with just our little guy felt complete. Maybe that's why this surprise pregnancy really threw me for a loop!

How do you feel about only having one? I am technically an only child, and some people feel it's a selfish thing to do. I obviously didn't, but I can see where people can feel that way.

Saltina11 · January 2011

I want to be one and done SO BAD, so that we can give our child the most love and attention possible and will have the most resources to help them succeed in life (as opposed to having to split everything among multiple children). My DH and I do not agree on this topic.... he wants FOUR. Easy for the guy to say when they aren't the one who deals with morning sickness and all the other fun things that go along w/ pregnancy.

mbritto4 · January 2011

We considered it. Our kids will be almost 4 years apart by the time this one comes. DD really wants a sibling and it was good to have my sister when I went thru loss in my family. I dread when something happens to one of DHs parents as it's just him.

JennV514 · January 2011

That could definitely be us. When we talk of a family, it usually only consists on 1 kid. We'll see how we feel in a few years, I guess. I am very grateful to be pregnant with this little one; I would be more than happy with the 3 of us.

heedy07 · January 2011

I am an only child. Personally, I think that it will be so difficult for me when something happens to my parents someday. I would love to have a sibling so that i don't have to feel like I am alone when that day comes. This being said, I knew I wanted more than one child, but I understand other people's reasons for only having one. Overall, I would have to say that I had a very happy childhood, and I am as close to my parents as you can get.

x0stephanie · January 2011

Noo way. I would be so sad to have only one. I want like 4, haha.

pinkforme · January 2011

mbritto4:
We considered it. Our kids will be almost 4 years apart by the time this one comes. DD really wants a sibling and it was good to have my sister when I went thru loss in my family. I dread when something happens to one of DHs parents as it's just him.

I agree. I never really thought of this until my mother passed away last year. I couldn't imagine dealing with all the things that go along with laying a loved one to rest on my own. My sister and I leaned heavily on one another. I would hate to think of my LO being all alone when MH and I pass on.

LyndseyLC · January 2011

I am an only child and really really wish I had at least one sibling. I guess I do have an older half sister but she is like almost 20 years older than me. My dad had her when he was 17. my parents were 11 years apart.

DH has 2 older sisters far apart in age from him so he feels like an only child too, especially now that they live on east coast.

So we for sure want to have at least 2.

dairygirl19 · January 2011

I'm seriously considering and it would be if it was only up to me.

I've been pregnant twice in the last two years. While I love it, it's harder on me than I thought. I also like the thought of an only child and all we'd be able to do for him.

H wants a housefull of kids though and I see his point (I used to want like 5 kids too).

I'm sure we'll compromise somewhere in the middle, but I'm passionate about 1 right now.

We've discussed waiting 3 or 4 years before the next one, and I might be okay with that.

We'll see what happens. I refuse to plan at the moment.

dougsbestgirl · January 2011

We are leaning pretty heavily towards just one LO. I want to make sure we have enough time and resources to help LO have a wonderful life. I am 1 of 3 kids and it was really hard on us when our parents got divorced. My mom worked full-time in retail, and my dad didn't send much child support so money was always a problem.

DH is one of 5 but honestly, we are the only ones that deal with anything to do with his parents anyway. So I'm not too worried about that. Plus, LO will have a cousin who will be only 18 months older. I have a couple cousins who are very close in age and we are all close.

lhuffmaster · January 2011

I am the oldest of 4, DH is oldest of 2. (My dad has 3 sisters, and mom has 6 siblings) Having only one LO never even crossed our minds. I want a big, loud, loving family like the one I grew up in. Sure, we when without some things - but fun,love, and someone to talk to were never in short supply. And to us, those are the important things.

(That being said - we'll have as many as we can provide and care for well. No Octomom here Wink )

DHYGchica3 · January 2011

At this point, if you ask me. Yup I'm done after this one. I am seriously considering surgery after to have my tubes plugged.

I've talked to DH about it, and he is supportive of what ever I want since I have to carry and birth the children. He could never ask me to do something I don't want to do. That said if we are to add to our family after this LO we are thinking adoption, to give a child a home and a chance they didn't have.

lhuffmaster · January 2011

DHYGchica3:

At this point, if you ask me. Yup I'm done after this one. I am seriously considering surgery after to have my tubes plugged.

I've talked to DH about it, and he is supportive of what ever I want since I have to carry and birth the children. He could never ask me to do something I don't want to do. That said if we are to add to our family after this LO we are thinking adoption, to give a child a home and a chance they didn't have.

I like this option too!

mollpolls · January 2011

As of now, we are. My hubby has a son who's 10 who is currently living with us, but going back to his mom in California next year.

Like someone else said, pregnancy hasn't been the easiest thing and I'm not sure about doing it again. I'm planning on getting Mirena (or something similar) instead of tying my tubes right away, just in case something changes.

lolliM · January 2011

We are planning on being one and done. I absolutely love the idea of being able to focus on and share with 1 child! DH and I are on the same page about it. We have young cousins near by and lots of children in our neighborhood. We want to be able to take our little one on big trips (Europe, maybe Asia, totally Hawaii and Mexico). I really am excited to focus on teaching 1 to read early, to be creative and make things. DH is ready to teach the little one chess and some computer stuff. This may sound cheezy but our pug is our "first child" LOL. She is a rescue and I have made it my job that she have the best life possible (she was abused!!!). One of my good friends has 5 that are all a year or a little over a year apart (maybe 2yrs) and while her children are amazing and well behaved...it was always CHAOS! I don't want chaos in our lives. If we decide down the road we want anymore---we will be adopting!

Saltina11 · January 2011

I sooooo agree with PP!!! My first two "children" are my dogs, Lily (8) and Howie (3). This is child #3 technically.

MrsO_53 · January 2011

lhuffmaster:
I am the oldest of 4, DH is oldest of 2. (My dad has 3 sisters, and mom has 6 siblings) Having only one LO never even crossed our minds. I want a big, loud, loving family like the one I grew up in. Sure, we when without some things - but fun,love, and someone to talk to were never in short supply. And to us, those are the important things.

(That being said - we'll have as many as we can provide and care for well. No Octomom here )

This. We want at least 3.

MuseumMaven · January 2011

I think we'll probably be two and done - we'd always wanted to have two kids max, and we're getting two-for-one with this pregnancy.

momtojake · January 2011

Let's have this chat again when all our LO's are 1 years old. You will miss the baby stage and you'll have forgotten about your pregnancy. Oh and every pregnancy is different so while this one may be horrible, then next one you might sail thru.

damabo80 · January 2011

We'll keep going until the insurance for ART coverage runs out. I've got a few more cycles that I can do. I'm hoping we can get at least another take-home child or two out of those attempts.

I would love to be able to say, "oh, we'll just adopt". Sadly, it's not that easy or cheap. Looking at about $40k per adoption, and possibly years on the wait list. Not to mention, people with kids already usually get picked less by BMs than people without kids.

Kristen61607 · January 2011

Well I'll be "one pregnancy and done" - I'm pregnant with twins and we're done after this.

Infertility treatments was too hard emotionally for me to do it again. Even if I wasn't currently pregnant with twins, we'd still be "one and done" I think, unless the 2nd happened naturally.

MFAinNYC · January 2011

Definitely not, I can't imagine my life without my two brothers, even though sometimes they make me nuts!

My husband always says my reasoning for wanting 3 is a little "morbid," and probably doesn't make sense to others. When I was 24, my 30 year old brother's wife died suddenly when their daughter was 3.5 months old (she had a heart condition). She had a 27 year old brother. In their grief, the parents couldn't see the depth of their son's pain and I couldn't help but feel he seemed all alone. Even 8 years later, I can see there's a piece of him missing. I couldn't help but think if I lost one of them, at least the two of us would have the other. It probably is morbid. I think I just realized how much I value having both brothers in my life.

/depressing post

MrsLee22 · January 2011

We have always said that we wanted two, so I guess technically we're one pregnancy and done. It makes me a little bit sad to know that this is it for me, because I'm a freak of nature that really enjoys being pregnant. Buuuuut financially, it's more responsible for us to stop at two. DH is a cop and I'm a teacher, we'll never make a lot of money!

genekelly · January 2011

MH and I tried for 3 yrs and finally got pregnant on our own and both of us were shocked! I would have liked at least 2 children(esp b/c I love my big family of 6 siblings) but since it took so long and we're both older(I just turned 40 in Nov), we're one and done. I hope our only child never feels lonely but to tell you the truth, out of 6 siblings, I only see 2 of my sister's regularly. The other sibs and i see each other only once or twice a year and only if I make the effort. I figure a blood bond doesn't guarantee any future of "togetherness".

sjmcfall96 · January 2011

DH and I are currently disagreeing on this topic. He wants at least 2. I can't decide. I never thought when we did have kids we would be at least an hour away from ALL family and friends. I say one for now because we have no support system near us. I tell him I may change my mind when/if we finally move back home.

I don't think it's selfish to only want one.

slgbreeden · January 2011

I want this to be my 'one and done.' DH wants another but I know I'll be happy to just focus on one. There are a lot of benefits to both sides. Most of the single child stereotypes were set 100 years ago, times have changed, single children aren't isolated anymore. Plus we have a 2 year old silky terrier that acts like a 2 year old all the time, he is already our first kid. I'm also very environmental and economically conscious, one is plenty in my mind. I'd love to add to the family again in a few years by looking into adoption.

glmorgan03 · January 2011

DHYGchica3:

At this point, if you ask me. Yup I'm done after this one. I am seriously considering surgery after to have my tubes plugged.

I've talked to DH about it, and he is supportive of what ever I want since I have to carry and birth the children. He could never ask me to do something I don't want to do. That said if we are to add to our family after this LO we are thinking adoption, to give a child a home and a chance they didn't have.

This! I feel the same way. This is our first child, but it's been very difficult for me thusfar and I don't know if I could do it again. Also, I am already 32, and I just don't know if I would be comfortable getting pregnant right away again. So far, we're thinking one and done... with options for fostering/adoption.

ssull1974 · January 2011

At this time we are only planning on one, partly because that's what DH wants (and he's the youngest of 4 and he's really practical about what our house can hold and money) and partly because of my age (I'll be 37 when the baby is born). I know there are plenty of people who give birth later on in life, but I don't want to rush having a second one and I don't want to have to be worrying about college and retirement at the same time. I'm willing to consider a second so no permanent solutions after this one, but we'll see what happens.

Want a personalized experience?

Are any of you already planning to be "one and done"?

Re: Are any of you already planning to be &quot;one and done&quot;?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

Are any of you already planning to be &quot;one and done&quot;?

Re: Are any of you already planning to be &amp;quot;one and done&amp;quot;?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Are any of you already planning to be "one and done"?

Re: Are any of you already planning to be "one and done"?