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If you have potty trained in a "low key" kind of way
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Can you tell me what you did?
I think Leo is ready for us to start seriously PTing. He is finally over his extreme fear of the potty, and likes to sit on it now. Yesterday he actually told me he had to go poopy on the potty, and then sat down and went! I couldn't believe it
I want to be careful not to push him too hard. He really does not respond well to pressure - in fact an attempt at the 3 day method (we lasted about half a day) is what got him terrified of the potty in the first place. If you went the slow and steady route, did you use pull ups? How long did the whole process take? Any tips or pointers?
I think Leo is ready for us to start seriously PTing. He is finally over his extreme fear of the potty, and likes to sit on it now. Yesterday he actually told me he had to go poopy on the potty, and then sat down and went! I couldn't believe it
I want to be careful not to push him too hard. He really does not respond well to pressure - in fact an attempt at the 3 day method (we lasted about half a day) is what got him terrified of the potty in the first place. If you went the slow and steady route, did you use pull ups? How long did the whole process take? Any tips or pointers?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: If you have potty trained in a "low key" kind of way
Not at all! I think that Leo's preschool might do something like this eventually so it might help me too
DD was definitley learned the low key way. I did have to use pull-ups because of daycare. I was initially against pull-ups in a big way but now I actually think I like them after being forced to use them. It made it easy for DD to use the potty all by herself. But I never called them pull-ups or panties. I told her they were a special diaper so she could use the potty.
Anyway, when DD turned 2 her daycare started working on using the potty. The kids all wear pull-ups and every hour or so, they ask each child if they need to potty or want to sit on the potty. If the child says no, end of discussion. If yes, then to the potty they go. That's how it went for a long time. If DD said no potty, then fine. We also talked about big girl panties and how you get to wear them when you use the potty all of the time. We looked at big girl panties and all of the cool designs.I talked the big girl panties up like they were the best thing ever.
For what seemed like the longest time, I didn't think she was ever going to figure it out. Then, one day, she wanted big girl panties, so we went and bought some. From that day forward, she wanted to wear big girl panties. She had a couple of accidents early on but nothing major. She was using the potty all of the time and wearing big girl panties by the time she was 32 months.
Rach - we are going the slow and steady route and J is still in diapers, mostly because pull ups are more expensive and I am cheap!
Rosie - we've asked them to put him on the toilet at school to reinforce the potty training we're doing at home, but we're taking it slow. we're trying not to push it at home - we don't force him to go on the potty if he doesn't want to, but we do try to encourage it. he mostly wants to sit on the toilet when it's time to go to bed, time to go to school, etc. as a delay tactic. he does tell us when he has to pee some of the time, but more often than not, it's AFTER he's already gone in his diaper.
We tried sticker charts and then a full sticker chart = a toy (he's motivated by material objects), but that only got him comfortable with going on the potty and didn't get him fully trained. What worked for us was waiting until he told us he was ready. We had underwear available in a bin in his room for months. One day I sent him into his room to get a diaper and he came back wearing underpants. He was ready. We went with it and never went back. I was a nervous wreck since he did this on a Sunday morning so we headed to church as usual. No accidents. He had less than a handful of accidents for about seven or eight months. I do need to remind him to go to the bathroom if it's been a few hours and he hasn't gone, but I figure that's just a part of having young kids. Early on, I took him to the bathroom every 1-2 hours - I wouldn't ask if he needed to go, I just said "time to go potty". That way there wasn't a choice where he could say "no" and then risk having an accident.
Now that baby brother has arrived, he is having daily accidents but the sticker chart = toy motivation chart has been re-enacted and the accidents are stopping.
ETA: We had pullups but they were a pain to remove when dirty, which required pulling off his shoes/pants during a change. So we went back to diapers until he was ready for underwear. He equated pullups with diapers, so he would just go in them. We did buy a different kind of pullup for overnight and still do use those, although he would probably be fine in underwear at night since the pullups are almost always dry in the morning. I just don't want to be changing his sheets in the middle of the night when I have a newborn to deal with - I'm lazy.
For consistency sake, I did exactly what daycare did. I asked every hour or so. If she said no, fine. If she said yes, I'd sit her on the potty. I didn't want her to be confused. Why the heck is daycare asking about the potty but mommy doesn't care about it? I was concerned about the message that would send. Especially since, I seem to have hung the moon in her eyes.
I don't think she ever would have learned to use the potty until I was asking her as well. You know, if mommy doesn't care, why should she?
I felt like I didn't have time to aggressively potty train dd so we did it the low-key way. Honestly, she showed interest way before I was even thinking about it. She would use the potty all day some days and then she wouldn't use it for a week! There didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. And then one day, about 3 months before her 3rd birthday I realized she was using the potty all day for two days--no diaper changes! I was ecstatic! The only thing I did do, however, was allow her to watch a potty training video whenever she wanted--I really, really think it helped. HTH...
We started introducing Logan's little potty seat when he was probably about 16-18 months. He got into the habit of sitting on it before bath, and sometime after 18 months, I think, he would pee every night when he sat on it before bath. We just did that for several months, and occasionally, at around 25-27 months, he would ask to go at other times in addition to bath time (not that he really had to go, just that he would see the potty seat and ask to sit on it.)
In late November, his teacher at daycare said that she thought he was ready, because he always knew and would tell her when he'd peed/pooped in his diaper, etc. The daycare trains them with just underwear, and with a little seat that sits on the real toilet, so they had asked us to keep it consistent at home. They asked us to put him in underwear at home over a weekend and help him go on the potty, to get him used to it. So We bought the Baby Bjorn potty seat at OUAC, and a bunch of underwear and just went at it.
THe weekend we started, we put his underwear on him when he woke up, and then set a timer for every 20 minutes. When the timer would go off, we'd make a big deal about it being "POTTY TIME!!" and he'd stop whatever he was doing and run to the potty. He did really great, and we'd give him a sticker for going pee, and 2 stickers for going poop, which he then insisted on sticking on the wall of the bathtub (his bathtub wall is now covered with little star stickers!).
We would have about 1 or 2 accidents a day over that weekend, and it took a couple days before he went poop on the potty. He realized really quick that he did not like the feel of wet or poopy underwear, which is why I think he was so easy to potty train. Then that week, he had a couple poopy accidents at school while playing on the playground, but after that - nothing. He went a couple weeks without an accident until Christmas Eve, when his cousin was here and they were having too much fun and he was too distracted to stop playing and go pee in the potty.
After New Years, he started telling us he wanted to wear underwear to bed (not a diaper). He knows that he is not supposed to go pee pee/poopy in his pj's or bed, and he doesn't. A couple times he's woken up at night having to go potty, but mostly, he just wakes up in the morning and heads straight for the potty. So he has not had a diaper on for any reason in over 2 weeks, and he has been doing fantastic!
When 3 Became 4
We went pretty slow and steady. Abby had been ready for months (I was pretty sure) but she can be quite stubborn when she decides on something and had decided she did not want to. So, I just asked her if she wanted to go potty constantly and when the answer was "NO!" She did always sit on the potty at bath time as a routine and usually went then, but that was about it. I did not push her. I am not a fan of pull-up and we did not use them (except later on at night only because she was not ready for nighttime PT). I kept her in a diaper and told her when she was ready to use the potty all the time she could wear big girl panties. We had been talking about big girl panties for months and she already had some. I would ask her every few days if she was ready for big girl panties and reminded her that if she wore them she had to go potty when I asked her to and could not say no. We had a few times when she said she wanted to try and then would have an accident. I would ask her if she wanted to put on a new pair or diaper. She would usually chose diaper. Then one day she chose to wear panties and that was that! I think she had a hand full of accidents in a few weeks time but that was it. Once she made up her mind it was smooth sailing. It was still fustrating for me :P but I not fought her on it or forced her into it.
She was about 2 1/2 when we "started" PT and was fully PTed at just before 3, probably about 2 months before her 3rd b-day.
We started introducing Logan's little potty seat when he was probably about 16-18 months. He got into the habit of sitting on it before bath, and sometime after 18 months, I think, he would pee every night when he sat on it before bath. We just did that for several months, and occasionally, at around 25-27 months, he would ask to go at other times in addition to bath time (not that he really had to go, just that he would see the potty seat and ask to sit on it.)
In late November, his teacher at daycare said that she thought he was ready, because he always knew and would tell her when he'd peed/pooped in his diaper, etc. The daycare trains them with just underwear, and with a little seat that sits on the real toilet, so they had asked us to keep it consistent at home. They asked us to put him in underwear at home over a weekend and help him go on the potty, to get him used to it. So We bought the Baby Bjorn potty seat at OUAC, and a bunch of underwear and just went at it.
THe weekend we started, we put his underwear on him when he woke up, and then set a timer for every 20 minutes. When the timer would go off, we'd make a big deal about it being "POTTY TIME!!" and he'd stop whatever he was doing and run to the potty. He did really great, and we'd give him a sticker for going pee, and 2 stickers for going poop, which he then insisted on sticking on the wall of the bathtub (his bathtub wall is now covered with little star stickers!).
We would have about 1 or 2 accidents a day over that weekend, and it took a couple days before he went poop on the potty. He realized really quick that he did not like the feel of wet or poopy underwear, which is why I think he was so easy to potty train. Then that week, he had a couple poopy accidents at school while playing on the playground, but after that - nothing. He went a couple weeks without an accident until Christmas Eve, when his cousin was here and they were having too much fun and he was too distracted to stop playing and go pee in the potty.
After New Years, he started telling us he wanted to wear underwear to bed (not a diaper). He knows that he is not supposed to go pee pee/poopy in his pj's or bed, and he doesn't. A couple times he's woken up at night having to go potty, but mostly, he just wakes up in the morning and heads straight for the potty. So he has not had a diaper on for any reason in over 2 weeks, and he has been doing fantastic!
I guess this is probably not as low-key as you're looking for. But it was really much easier than we thought it would be. Logan would freak out when he'd have an accident, but we wouldn't - we would just tell him it was okay, and accidents happen, and we wouldn't get mad or stressed, and that seemed to calm him down a little bit.
When 3 Became 4
We did this too. Once she was in big girl panties I did not ask her if she wanted to go potty anymore. I would just say "time to go potty" every few hours and she went.
Oh and we also did M&Ms as a reward early on. She never got candy really so it was a big deal.
We did the 3 day method and I know you don't want to do that, but I just wanted to comment for others who are looking into PT.
It wasn't high pressure for us. I think Megan was ready, she was waking up dry in the morning and after naps. And we talked about it A LOT before hand. She wanted to wear underwear and even with accidents didn't ask to go back to diapers (ok there were 2 times when she had to poop that she wanted a diaper to poop in but were able to work through that gently).
Russ took Ryan out of the house the first day so it was just the two of us which was a treat with 2 kids so just did fun one on one stuff. We also have mostly all tile floors so I wasn't stressed about pee either. Megan didn't seem upset about accidents but I didn't get upset either (for the most part; especially those first couple days but I did have some moments for sure). We also stayed home all weekend (that was probably one of the toughest things) so there was no pressure to pee on an unfamiliar potty.
When we did go out in public the first couple of times there was some reservation from Megan about using the potty when she had to go and I did push her in those moments (with lots of empathy). So it wasn't pressure free; but it wasn't high pressure for us.
Rach03k (and others) - I'm totally not trying to convince anyone to use the 3 day method. I'm a firm believer in you know what's best for your kid / family. But I didn't want those who are researching/reading/thinking about PT to exclude it because they think its a high pressure method. Because I don't believe it always is. For us it was very similar to just waiting until the child was ready and then just switching to underwear. I just personally liked the philosophy of leaving it up to the child to tell you when they had to go instead of asking them if they have to go.
I'm glad you commented and that it worked well for you! I'm holding out hope that Charlie will do well with something like this
I was really surprised that Leo reacted so badly to the method, but he just hated getting wet and would get so upset that he couldn't calm down. When we tried to get him on the potty he would go totally ballistic. I think another problem for us was that he really wasn't ready yet. I was trying to PT him out of desperation because his diaper changes were getting to be a total nightmare. In hindsight I should have realized it wasn't a good fit for him, but you live and you learn, right?
I haven't had time to read all the responses, so I may come back and add more later-
We went super low key since DD was a very late potty user. Just before she turned 3, we switched to underwear during the day and diapers only for nap time and bed time. She finally just got the hang of it and stopped having accidents. She showed interest in the potty very early, before 2 years, but wasn't ready until almost 3. She just didn't get it and it didn't bother her to use her diaper. We plan do go super low pressure with DS and will probably switch him to underwear at 30 months, since he will start school a few months later and they don't allow diapers.
For daycare, I would do whatever they are doing, assuming you agree with it. Consistency would be very important to me and to the success of PT.
we did slow & steady (well, slow maybe?) w/my soon to be 5 yr old. I followed the preschool's lead...he took a long time to show interest in the potty at school, right around his 3rd bday, he wouldn't even go in their bathroom prior to that. I did not push anything. it would upset him greatly if I asked or suggested he go to the potty...it was totally his deal. we did not do any reward system (doesn't interest him). it was really time and when he was ready. we did not do pullups. yes there were many accidents and it was maddening at times, but he figured it out, and by 3.5 he was completely done.
now my newly 3 yo on the other hand...he has gone on the potty for a yr now at preschool, and he will decide on his own now to poop on the potty, but he doesn't have the timing down for pee yet. he refuses to go when i say it's time or suggest...i figure he will figure it out too. we do the lots of underwear & extra clothes thing.
Sometime in early 2010 (can't remember when) we bought the little potty and "potty" books. We showed her what it was and how it worked, and we read the books to her. We then started asking her if she wanted to try to go pee pee or poo on the potty. If she said yes, then we tried. If no, then we left it at that. If she did pee pee or poo in the potty, she got a sticker. For about 2 days, she loved it. But then she just lost interest, so we let it go.
At the end of May 2010 (DD was 2 1/2 years old and "school" had just ended) we tried again. Just like before, no pushing. But this time I tried M&M's instead of stickers (since they clearly weren't incentive enough). I bought a HUGE bag of M&Ms ... and I ate 1/2 of them. She didn't mind pee pee, but she wasn't about to poop. A few days later, I tried gummy bears. She loves them. And that was the kicker. Gummy bears = poop. And she did it right away. We bought panties after that :-)
I'm not above bribery. She had maybe 3 accidents after the gummy bears, but it's been smooth-sailing otherwise.
One suggestion: We also have a little potty that we keep in the trunk of the car. That potty saved us MANY times when she was first potty-trained. When a 2 year old says "I have to go potty," they don't give much warning. It's nice to be able to pull over quickly. Also ... we like it for the park, etc. We were at a park with no bathroom the other day, and it was wonderful.