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If it's been several months since your loss

noah-bearnoah-bear member
in TTC After a Loss

do you still get emotional during sex?

There are times, rather positions, where I get flooded with emotions. I don't know why. I just want to roll over and cry. I cried the first few times after each loss and I've been very good about it. But every now and again I'll just feel so sad. 

Edit: I'm talking more like 4+ months. My most recent was in April, so it's been just over 9 months (on the 19th) 

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Re: If it's been several months since your loss

  • emeraudecephiroemeraudecephiro member
    It's been a year since my last m/c, and I still cry sometimes or get flooded with emotion.
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  • PachitaPachita member
    It has definitely happened to me at the beginning of my loss...but I've been doing better thankfully.  When I FWP or just fvck I have a future mind set now --thinking about the next baby we're (hopefully) conceiving. 

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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  • CaroleeCarolee member
    I get those feelings sometimes.  I haven't cried in a while but I feel like I could sometimes.  (((Hugs)))
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • tmhdmhtmhdmh

    i havent got emotional during sex (after my first m/c), but i definately cry randomly.

    Married 5/15/10. Me (29). DH (33). BFP#1 7/25/10 - Missed m/c 8wks - D&E 8/25/10 BFP#2 12/25/10 - Missed m/c 7wks - D&E 1/20/11 (second loss due to abnormal chromosome 7) Genetics testings- Normal. RPL panel results- Normal. Elevated FSH (14). DH b/w normal. SA- Normal. HSG- Left tube possibly blocked. Minor septum removed. My Ovulation Chart ~~ Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success. For who so strongly hopes has within him the gift of miracles ~~ image
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  • CashewsMommyCashewsMommy member

    I'm an odd ball. I've never really gotten emotional after sex. Even after the first time after our loss. I guess I don't associate sex with our loss.

    However, I do have a lot of triggers that I still get emotional at all of the time. Today I had to fight back the tears at my nephews birthday party.


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
    The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
    Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
     BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

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  • pennynjonpennynjon
    imageCashewsMommy:

    I'm an odd ball. I've never really gotten emotional after sex. Even after the first time after our loss. I guess I don't associate sex with our loss.

    However, I do have a lot of triggers that I still get emotional at all of the time. Today I had to fight back the tears at my nephews birthday party.

    This for me too.  There are lots of things that make me cry and make me sad, but that hasn't been one of those things for me.   

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  • Gilgenbach2007Gilgenbach2007 member
    It's been 6 months since my loss and I have never really gotten emotional during sex.  I guess I just kind of block it out and don't really think about it at those times.  The times I do get emotional I'm usually by myself driving or in the shower.
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  • iggy.diggy.d member
    imageemeraudecephiro:
    It's been a year since my last m/c, and I still cry sometimes or get flooded with emotion.
    this exactly for me too. less frequently but sometimes, yes.
    BFP#1 10/5/09 | Heartbeat 11/1/09 | D&C 11/24/09 (no hb)
    BFP#2 02/18/11 * Beta@15dpo=215 * @18dpo=698 * @20dpo=2337 * @25dpo=10,931 * DS Arrived October 24, 2011
    BFP#3 08/12 | D&C 9/12 (no hb)
    BFP#4 Due May 1, 2014 Stick baby stick!
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  • Izabella22Izabella22 member
    I had my first loss in April and my 2nd in October, the first couple of times after the losses I was pretty upset, then last night b/c it was the first time we've not used any protection of any sort since October but beyond that I don't get emotional. Although we haven't done any fwp yet so that might change things.
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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin

    Not really.  I did almost have an anxiety attack after a little BD fail last cycle.  It took me a little time to get things back into perspective.  And, I do sometimes find my mind straying into the what if's when we have sex, but for the most part, I can let go and enjoy. 

    (((hugs))) I'm sorry you felt sad.  It sucks when it sneaks up on you out of the blue.  =(

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • tigers413tigers413
    I try not to but there are times that I did. Most of the time I would cry after sex mostly when DH is asleep.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Premature Baby tickers
    BFP #1 - 04/09/10 -- m/c - 07/02/10 @ 20weeks and 3 days. D&C 07/02/2010 - EDD 11/16/10
    BFP #2 12/17/10 please stick turtle. EDD 8/29/11 - Emergency C-Section 7-2-11. Andrew's journey
    Congratulations to my TTCAL buddy Carolee on her BFP! Stick, baby!
    Congratulations to elbandas09, cherylanddoug, tctibbe(MsPegees) and alliejoe for their take home babies!
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  • TapatioTapatio
    imageCashewsMommy:

    I'm an odd ball. I've never really gotten emotional after sex. Even after the first time after our loss. I guess I don't associate sex with our loss.

    However, I do have a lot of triggers that I still get emotional at all of the time. Today I had to fight back the tears at my nephews birthday party.

    Same here. There are other things that trigger sad emotions or memories for me.

    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
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  • MrsAtchMrsAtch member
    imageTapatio:
    imageCashewsMommy:

    I'm an odd ball. I've never really gotten emotional after sex. Even after the first time after our loss. I guess I don't associate sex with our loss.

    However, I do have a lot of triggers that I still get emotional at all of the time. Today I had to fight back the tears at my nephews birthday party.

    Same here. There are other things that trigger sad emotions or memories for me.

    Pretty much this for me too. Although I did cry the first time after our most recent loss. It was hard for me because DH and I grieve so differently and it just kind of all came out. But it really freaked him out (I don't think he knew why I was sobbing at first) and it hasn't happened since. 

    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
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  • shoefreak85shoefreak85
    It's been 6 months, and sometimes I cry after we're finished.  I concentrate on the next LO during. 
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    "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9
    BFP #1 7/4/2010--Natural M/C 8/4/2010
    BFP #2 4/25/2011 Please stick, baby!! EDD 1/1/2012
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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    I don't get emotional. Of course, sex has nothing to do with baby making for us anymore since we're doing IUI, so... that might have something to do with it.
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
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     Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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  • TeamR&BTeamR&B member
    It's been almost 5 months since my 2nd loss.  I don't get emotional during or after sex anymore, but I definitely get emotional and cry at random times and much more frequently than ever before.  
    Anniversary BFP #1: 5-20-10, m/c 5-29-10 @ 5w6d BFP #2: 8-04-10, missed m/c discovered 8-31-10, d&c 9-02-10 BFP #3: 4-08-11 ~ EDD: 12-16-11 Praying that the third time's a charm... Please get comfy & stick around LO!
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  • LilMaggsLilMaggs member
    This happens, regularly. For me, the length of time since the loss makes the emotional end even worse.  I get frustrated with my body for not getting KTFU over the cycles since, frustrated with DH's sperm, and just plain sick of wondering if this is my cycle or not.
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