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8yo boy bathroom issues - normal or not?

cherhop1cherhop1
in School-Aged Children

My stepson is almost 9.  He has bedwetting issues.  We sent him to a specialist and they said he'll grow out of it.  My DH had the same issue as a kid. We use a Rogers Alarm underwear system which works well when both families are consistent.  He seems to go through phases where he doesn't pee the bed for weeks at a time.  I understand that this is something that he cannot help and he is definitely growing out of it. Not a big deal.

The problem I'm having is that he wets in his pants DURING THE DAY.  If he's playing downstairs he will wait too long to make it to the bathroom and start to go in his pants.  He's tried to play it off like it's something he can't help.  BUT he's even started to crap himself out of laziness and absorption in his playing to come up to use the bathroom.  I've taken away the playroom downstairs for a bit and now let him go down for a specified time frame. I also remind him to use the bathroom periodically.  Hasn't seemed to help though.  Every week when I get his laundry I find urine soaked underwear.  Seems as if he is taking half a piss in his pants.  Not sure if he is not pulling his pants down in time OR if he is pulling them up too fast because he is always in a hurry to get back to playing. 

Anybody have any similar issues?  I've been on my husband to help teach him bathroom etiquette as well. SS pees all over the toilet seat and lid and also doesn't wipe himself very good at all.  I dread doing his laundry. Husband gets upset when I show him the smelly dirty underwear and says he'll talk to him  but doesn't follow through to try to do anything about it.  

I've been dealing with this issue for a while and am FRUSTRATED.  Am I overreacting or is this normal behavior for a boy his age?

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Re: 8yo boy bathroom issues - normal or not?

  • mickey1330mickey1330 member

    I definitely think your husband needs to talk to him.  DS1 just turned 7, and hasn't had an accident in probably 4 years.  There has to be another issue going on.  Also, maybe you need to make him take bathroom breaks every hour or so.  Make him go in the bathroom and "try" to go.  That will cut down on the excuse of not stopping playing to go.

     Now as far as cleaning up the bathroom after themselves, I think there are many men out there who still haven't learned that skill!

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  • SurfinbrideSurfinbride
    Seems unusual to me. I would take him to a different doctor. Issues could be hormone related, physical or mental. If he has problems at home day and night, what is happening while he is at school? You don't want him to have problems socially because of this. Sorry. It must be very difficult.
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    Newlyweds since 2007
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  • marcierinmarcierin

    My oldest son is almost 8, and still occasionally has "accidents" during the day. He has ADD, and I think that has a lot to do with it. He has never wet the bed. It usually only happens at home, when he is playing. His problem is that he waits too long, and ends up peeing some in his underwear before making it to the bathroom. Since he started medication for his ADD, the problem has decreased probably 85% It only happens occasionally now. We have to make sure and remind him to go to the bathroom. When it was really bad, I had him going every hour, and I would stand at the door and make sure that he went. We also limited his liquid intake. He wasn't allowed to have anything except for meals or snacks. And, we made sure he went to the bathroom after. 

    I have been so worried about him getting picked on if this happens at school. We had a huge problem with him being embarrassed by it. He wouldn't say anything, and would go around with wet pants.

    I would talk to his pediatrician and see if he has any suggestions.

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  • DandelionMomDandelionMom
    image-auntie-:

    I'd start at the pedi with a referal for a GI specialist. If he has encopresis, you've got  a long road ahead in terms of treatment if he's gotten to the point where he's leaking. This is hugely stigmatizing in school. You need to have your DH and the boy's mom call. TODAY.

    DITTO DITTO DITTO

    This sounds like a medical issue to me.  Other things to consider are food allergies/intolerances.  Two of my DDs have celiac disease and potty-issues were a huge symptom. 

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  • OsgirlOsgirl

    I would definitely take him to the doctor and find out if there's a medical issue that is causing the wetting and soiling problems. This is not normal for an 8 year old. I know that some 8/9 year olds wet the bed, and I've heard that it's not a concern until the child is over 8 years old. Children can take a medication to help them with bedwetting.

    He really is old enough to be responsible to use the bathroom and not have accidents-especially poop accidents. There's definitely something going on, and if he were my son, I'd be concerned.

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