Nighttime Parenting Poll

Married2MrWright · January 2011

Babies and kids are a lot of work after the sun goes down. Inquiring minds want to know...in your home, who has got the night time parenting duties?[Poll]

MrsNJSwimmer · January 2011

Since MH is on baby duty all day, I am on all night. If he's really giving me a problem, MH will come in and help though

vanilla15 · January 2011

I voted for "we split 50/50". Adair's crib is in our room on DH's side of the bed (that started in the very beginning when she was waking every 2 hours to feed so the maybe hour I had in between feedings, I wouldn't sleep b/c I was too paranoid & just wanted to watch her breathe! for the sake of my sanity, DH made me switch sides) Adair doesn't wake for feedings anymore, but she will wake and fuss for a few minutes and DH will reach over and pat her butt to try to soothe her. But if she pees out of her diaper or something in the middle of the night, we both get up to change her/her sheets. And if for some reason she did want to nurse, obviously that is all me.

With all of that said, DH had a really flexible job. If he had to wake up super early for work, I am sure it would be different.

eacerna · January 2011

When E was born, DH was on vacation leave for a couple of weeks to help me out. We would both do the night duties. When he got back to work, we had to change it. Since I am still on mat leave, I watch the baby all day but when DH gets home from work, I hand him the baby. He feeds, gives her bath, put her jammies, read book and does the last feeding and put her down to sleep. I do the night time duties when E wakes up to eat 5 am or fusses and need her paci. On weekends though, DH helps out. Also, he gets to go out to watch the basketball games with his friends in exchange for a nighttime duty and I get a break. Fair deal :-). When I get back to work, we will have to divide the night time duties.

MauiWedding08 · January 2011

50/50 seemed most applicable.

When I was on mat leave it was 100% me on weeknights. Before we loosely night weaned I was obviously on duty 100% of them b/c he would just eat and goes right back to sleep (unless J was in his own room, then the deal was DH had to go get him and bring him to me - I wouldn't get up!).

During the night weaning it was 100% DH. He had to go to J and offer a paci and comfort to get him back down.

DH goes to get J when he wakes at 5-6ish am (feel like it's his turn to step up since I did all that work before). I feed J and we all sleep until the alarm goes off.

When J was having major issues going down to sleep for the night we alternated every other night and stuck to that regardless of how "hard" each night was (some nights it would take forever to get him down, but then the next night he would be asleep in 30 seconds).

redshoegirl · January 2011

Once I returned to work, it became a 50/50 split (before then I got up at night for crying etc about 90% of the time).

At bedtime we share bathing duties, then Ben reads them their bedtime story. Then we both give them their final bottle and settle them with their pacis in bed.

If they wake up at night, it's pretty evenly split ("Honey wake up. It's your turn."). Actually, I think Ben's been getting up a bit more often than me lately. Stick out tongue

MauiWedding08 · January 2011

redshoegirl:
Actually, I think Ben's been getting up a bit more often than me lately.

ha, this totally happened at our house too. I just said, sorry - I hit a wall and wouldn't get up. DH thought I was kidding but I wasn't. (that is where the "banked" time thing came from - DH had it easy for 3+mo so I felt he could step at that point). Kind of blunt since I am talking about my cute, snuggly offspring, but you know what I mean...

redshoegirl · January 2011

MauiWedding08:
redshoegirl:
Actually, I think Ben's been getting up a bit more often than me lately.
ha, this totally happened at our house too. I just said, sorry - I hit a wall and wouldn't get up. DH thought I was kidding but I wasn't. (that is where the "banked" time thing came from - DH had it easy for 3+mo so I felt he could step at that point). Kind of blunt since I am talking about my cute, snuggly offspring, but you know what I mean...

HAHAHAHA I know exactly what you mean! It's like I hit a wall, like you said. And not only that, but something flipped in my brain - where I used to wake up at the slightest sniffle, now I barely open my eyes long enough to smack Ben on the bum and say, "Your turn honey" before going back to sleep. He complained the other day that it was "his turn" a lot these days...I told him it was payback for the first 6 months. Devil

Apparently the other night (I don't remember this at all), I told Ben to get out of bed and deal with a crying baby. He said it was my turn, and I got all indignant and half yelled, "I've been up 10 times already tonight! Get out of bed!" Clearly I come up with really crappy excuses when I'm mostly asleep because I hadn't been out of bed at all that night lol.

SanHawaii08 · January 2011

redshoegirl:
Apparently the other night (I don't remember this at all), I told Ben to get out of bed and deal with a crying baby. He said it was my turn, and I got all indignant and half yelled, "I've been up 10 times already tonight! Get out of bed!" Clearly I come up with really crappy excuses when I'm mostly asleep because I hadn't been out of bed at all that night lol.

hahaha!

some nights, it's all me, and some nights, MH does everything but feed. sometimes when E is being super fussy and hard to get back down, MH will actually take him out of the room to try to get him to sleep, so I can sleep until the next feeding. ...and other times, MH doesn't even stir when E screams in his ear, haha. I think right now, it just depends on who's more exhausted. I feel bad since MH has to go to work, but sometimes, I just can't get up or am too sleep-deprived/cranky Embarrassed

lola808 · January 2011

I still think I'm primarily on duty at night (during most of the day as well). I prep his dinner and feed him, and DH will usually bathe him, but I still nurse him to sleep. A's finally STTN, so that helps, but 2 out of 3 times, if he needs tending to, it's me. If I go out to dinner, DH will do it all (and do a great job of it), but unfortunately we didn't establish the 50/50 thing early on enough for it to be our routine.

Married2MrWright · January 2011

Since J works second shift I am the one who does the bath-book-bed routine each night. And since she's been sleeping in her crib, I am the one who gets up in the night if/when she wakes. So lately, it's all on me. Sort of like it was in the beginning...the first 6 weeks J totally got a pass. Then I let him have it and at least during the day he'd swaddle and rock and get her to sleep. Then I went back to work and he had her all day and was the putting-baby-to-sleep master champion! Now that she's down to one nap/day and with my mom while J is in school he doesn't have to deal with putting her to sleep. I guess I am okay with it. I told him that once she's been sleeping in her crib for a month (02.10.11) then we're going to work on night weaning (because I still get up 1-2 times a night to nurse her)...and that he'll have to be the one to get up and comfort her back to sleep.

parrotgirl · January 2011

MH is very involved since the beginning. He usually gets the bath ready and we both bathe/play with mason, i nurse and he reads...this happens pretty much every night (except the bath). We also take turns getting up if he wakes but he's really good at letting me sleep...it just depends on the night

MrsIH · January 2011

Sounds like all of our DH's are very involved, that's awesome

I'd say our situation is somewhat close to 50/50 but I probably do more in the evenings as far as waking up, feeding. In the beginning (first month, DH was off work) MH would let me sleep when I got so exhausted, about 9pm or so. He'd be on baby duty until he went to sleep and he'd stay up late just so I could get 3-4 hours straight. After that month he went back to work he'd still stay up and watch J on the monitor and would go in if he needed to but he'd go to bed earlier. I have always done the night wakings/feedings from day one. It didn't make sense for both of us to be up at the same time (some of our friends had their hubby get up after she fed him and he would burp, change diaper). I'm still up with him when he gets up once in the early morning. Even on the weekends I'm up with baby... makes me think that hubby should do an early morning feed or two He does offer but my Mommy guilt usually sets in and I get up. I have to give MH a lot of credit though as he's been so hands on and I also feel like he needs to have enough hours of sleep in order to function at work and commute (an hour each way). Oh and we both bathe J after dinner and I go downstairs to the nursery and feed, snuggle, put to bed. He always offers to do it but I enjoy it, it's our quiet time. A break would be nice once or twice a week though. Whew, that got long, I'm tired...

mrspresley · January 2011

as most of you know I do 99.9% of the night time stuff (and daytime Wink ). the only time i don't do it is when I am working late and not physically at home.

and, here's a small vent - last week when she busted her lip and bruised her gums, she woke up in the middle of the night in pain and needed pain meds.... it was too early in the night (~11:30pm) so we knew she wasn't hungry... DH told me "I think her mouth hurts, why don't you go up and give her some medicine?" to which I replied, "why don't you go up and give her some medicine?" I actually hadn't even fallen asleep yet so I wasn't yet in that "i'm so sleepy and out of it i don't want to get out of bed" state but I was trying to make a point that he is just as capable of handling the situation as I am. he had the next day off so I did not feel bad about saying this. but, guess what his response was? "she's crying for you, not me." instead of regular crying, now she cries "mama, mama, maaaaama" all the time so that was his excuse not to have to get up. I was really mad and would have stayed in bed to make a point but after a few more minutes it was obvious he wasn't going to do it and I couldn't bear to hear her crying in pain like that so I got up and took care of her....

redshoegirl:
now I barely open my eyes long enough to smack Ben on the bum and say, "Your turn honey" before going back to sleep. He complained the other day that it was "his turn" a lot these days...I told him it was payback for the first 6 months.

when I was PG I had someone tell me that she used to do that, she'd wake her hubby and say "honey, it's your turn" and he'd say "huh? I thought I got her last???" and then she'd say, "no, I got her last time, you're just too tired to remember! it's your turn now, go get her...." and he would believe her LOL

inamra · January 2011

parrotgirl:
MH is very involved since the beginning. He usually gets the bath ready and we both bathe/play with mason, i nurse and he reads...this happens pretty much every night (except the bath). We also take turns getting up if he wakes but he's really good at letting me sleep...it just depends on the night

We do something like this.

Feeding time, bathtime, bedtime story = family time for us. We all sit down and have dinner together every night (MH and I take turns scooping food in his spoon for him while eating our own dinners), then MH gets the bath ready while I get him ready for the bath. We both bath/play with him, then I dress him while MH cleans up after the bath. MH reads but we all sit together (sometimes I say the animal noises in the book, like "moo", "baa", "lalala" for the Moo Ba Lalala book, but MH mainly does all the reading). Then I nurse and put him into his crib, say night night, and go downstairs. If he fusses for us, MH and I alternate going up to calm him.

Since he SSTNs now, I'm the one who gets him at 5am to bring him to our bed to nurse and then he'll sleep with us until I get up (~9:30am). In the past, before he STTN, MH would get him in the middle of the night and if he was hungry, then he'd bring B to me and I'd nurse him while sleeping. Usually we only nursed one side in that case because I'm too asleep to switch =P

inamra · January 2011

redshoegirl:
Apparently the other night (I don't remember this at all), I told Ben to get out of bed and deal with a crying baby. He said it was my turn, and I got all indignant and half yelled, "I've been up 10 times already tonight! Get out of bed!" Clearly I come up with really crappy excuses when I'm mostly asleep because I hadn't been out of bed at all that night lol.

LOL!!!

mrspresley:
but, guess what his response was? "she's crying for you, not me." instead of regular crying, now she cries "mama, mama, maaaaama" all the time so that was his excuse not to have to get up. I was really mad and would have stayed in bed to make a point but after a few more minutes it was obvious he wasn't going to do it and I couldn't bear to hear her crying in pain like that so I got up and took care of her....

Aww =( You know, since she's learning how to talk so well now, you should teach her to cry "dadadada" so you can use that excuse on him =P

myday1708 · January 2011

When I was on maternity leave and nursing -- We both put her to bed but I was the one to get up in the middle of the night.

Now that we are both working -- We still both put her to bed but thankfully she sleeps all night so the night waking isn't an issue. HOWEVER, on a race occasion that she wakes up in the middle of the night, I'll go in, or if I ask DH, he'll go in.

On weekends -- She still gets up at her normal 6:30, so we alternate who gets up with her and let the other one sleep in, i.e. I'll get up with her on Saturday while he sleeps in and he'll get up with her on Sunday while I sleep in, or vice versa.

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