Is this selfish ? * edited*

fussybunny · January 2011

** ok Maybe a better Title would be " IS this selfish ??" LOL **

My friend and I are going to a wedding next Sat which is an hour away (downtown). Its an open bar wedding and we both would enjoy a night out together so we were thinking of getting a hotel room and just staying downtown for the night instead of one of us staying the DD.

Now heres the catch....the next day (Sunday) is FI's birthday....it is selfish of me to want to stay over night and have him get up with DS on his birthday morning? Part of me doesnt feel bad b/c I had to get up with DS on MY birthday morning LOL No sleeping in for mommy.

I havent even asked FI , but I know he HATES getting up early in the morning so it'll prob be a NO anyways LOL

LauranBilly · January 2011

Umm Id ask..

sunflowergrl · January 2011

I don't usually ask DH's permission to do things. We have an understanding, that as long as nothing is already scheduled, then it's okay. And if you don't already have a birthday brunch or something else planned, I don't see any reason you can't go.

And sorry, boo hoo for him "HATING" to get up, he's a father. I'm sure you don't enjoy it, but you do it anyway right? I think you should go, and enjoy yourself. Then have fun celebrating his b-day when you get home!

fussybunny · January 2011

sunflowergrl:
I don't usually ask DH's permission to do things. We have an understanding, that as long as nothing is already scheduled, then it's okay. And if you don't already have a birthday brunch or something else planned, I don't see any reason you can't go.
And sorry, boo hoo for him "HATING" to get up. I'm sure you don't enjoy it, but you do it anyway right? I think you should go, and enjoy yourself. Then have fun celebrating his b-day when you get home!

Sorry PP prob came out wrong...I dont "ask" to do things LOL I would only be asking b/c it would be his birthday and its his day to do what he wants. I would hate it if he planned something for himself on MY birthday without asking me.

tarebear9891 · January 2011

Yes ask (more so tell him) that you would like to do it. Just be nice and say "I know it is your birthday so I will try to get back at a decent time so you will have the rest of the day to do what you would like."

sunflowergrl · January 2011

tarebear9891:
Yes ask (more so tell him) that you would like to do it. Just be nice and say "I know it is your birthday so I will try to get back at a decent time so you will have the rest of the day to do what you would like."

This is exactly how I would go about it.

sunflowergrl · January 2011

fussybunny:
** ok Maybe a better Title would be " IS this selfish ??" LOL **

My friend and I are going to a wedding next Sat which is an hour away (downtown). Its an open bar wedding and we both would enjoy a night out together so we were thinking of getting a hotel room and just staying downtown for the night instead of one of us staying the DD.
Now heres the catch....the next day (Sunday) is FI's birthday....it is selfish of me to want to stay over night and have him get up with DS on his birthday morning? Part of me doesnt feel bad b/c I had to get up with DS on MY birthday morning LOL No sleeping in for mommy.
I havent even asked FI , but I know he HATES getting up early in the morning so it'll prob be a NO anyways LOL

That made me laugh! Stick out tongue

and no, not selfish at all. Enjoy every minute of that open bar... Drinks <-- to get you started

fussybunny · January 2011

sunflowergrl:
fussybunny:
** ok Maybe a better Title would be " IS this selfish ??" LOL **

My friend and I are going to a wedding next Sat which is an hour away (downtown). Its an open bar wedding and we both would enjoy a night out together so we were thinking of getting a hotel room and just staying downtown for the night instead of one of us staying the DD.
Now heres the catch....the next day (Sunday) is FI's birthday....it is selfish of me to want to stay over night and have him get up with DS on his birthday morning? Part of me doesnt feel bad b/c I had to get up with DS on MY birthday morning LOL No sleeping in for mommy.
I havent even asked FI , but I know he HATES getting up early in the morning so it'll prob be a NO anyways LOL
That made me laugh!
and no, not selfish at all. Enjoy every minute of that open bar... <-- to get you started

LOL the original title made me sound like a 1940 housewife asking permission for everything !!

EastCoastBride · January 2011

sunflowergrl:

And sorry, boo hoo for him "HATING" to get up, he's a father. I'm sure you don't enjoy it, but you do it anyway right? I think you should go, and enjoy yourself. Then have fun celebrating his b-day when you get home!

This. 100 x's over. You didn't get to sleep in on your b-day, so why should he- especially when that won't even be a "special" thing for him?

This is a great chance for you and a friend to go out and have a nice time. Take advantage of it.

Your DH is an adult - he can suck it up even on his b-day.

kes3237 · January 2011

Why don't you let FI sleep in on Saturday morning as his birthday treat?

And no, it's not selfish at all to spend the night and come home in the morning. IMO, adult birthdays aren't a big deal.

EastCoastBride · January 2011

I have to add - tomorrow is my b-day. Want to know how my day will go? DH will probably be at work. I will get up w/ DS and do all our normal stuff. Probably run a couple errands. Then my dad is coming voer to watch DS while I go get my hair cut.

Then once I get back, the rest of the afternoon will be me and DS. That's it. No DH (most likely), no b-day celebration, etc. The night will probably end w/ me watching a movie and having a glass of wine.

Am I upset about it? No. I'm an adult. Every year isn't going to be a big deal. We went to NYC last year for my 40th w/ a group of friends - that celebration is going to hold me for a couple years!

This year just isn't going to be all that "special". It's called life.

Sage Mommy · January 2011

We're not big on adult birthdays. I don't think it's a big deal for him to get up. Go and have fun.

FlaCourtney · January 2011

I would run it by him in the way someone else suggested, not really asking for permission but letting him know that you haven't forgotten his birthday. And then promise to make him or take him out to a great dinner.

*calimomma* · January 2011

i would think that he would like the quality time with her for his B Day

C.Mo · January 2011

EastCoastBride:
sunflowergrl:

And sorry, boo hoo for him "HATING" to get up, he's a father. I'm sure you don't enjoy it, but you do it anyway right? I think you should go, and enjoy yourself. Then have fun celebrating his b-day when you get home!
This. 100 x's over. You didn't get to sleep in on your b-day, so why should he- especially when that won't even be a "special" thing for him?

This is a great chance for you and a friend to go out and have a nice time. Take advantage of it.
Your DH is an adult - he can suck it up even on his b-day.

All of this! Have fun at the wedding!

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