I'm venting... It makes me feel better!

justme04 · January 2011

Yes I'm pregnant again. I had a very had time for about 4 months because I had insane morning sickness (a delight I skipped while preggo with DS) and had trouble changing DS's diaper and I actually threw up on the poor kid a few times (most of the time I missed!)

I have been so annoyed with DH lately because I feel like he doesnt help. I know the man is working on his master's and pretty much working full time but at the end of the day I need a break too! The other night I asked him to change DS's diaper and he said he was busy and "that is your job." I dont think he knows how close I came to throwing the poopy diaper at his head. Not to mention this stupid weight lifting limit which DS is on the verge of crossing so I try to get DH to at least carry him long distances and up and down stairs whenever possible (I mean usually DS will crawl up the stairs to bed but if he is already asleep....but he hasnt mastered downstairs yet).

It just really annoys me that DH gets to come home and get downtime and then does school work and has more downtime before he goes to bed. When do I ever get any downtime? Only when I beg! Although I'll be honest I've gone upstairs and taken a nap and just left him with DS on occasion.

I'm just mad because we had this all worked out and then I got a retail job over christmas and now that I'm back to SAHM everything has gone to heck and back.

Jocelyn0415 · January 2011

Oh, hell no. If my husband told me "that's your job." we'd have a BIG problem.

mistywhite400 · January 2011

put your foot down & demand some help & down time! Don't take no for an answer...he needs to help!

rebus82 · January 2011

I'm sorry, that sounds miserable. He's really lucky he didn't get the diaper to the head, my DH certainly would have with that attitude. My "job" is to take care of B, but there is no way my husband wouldn't get off his asss to change a diaper if I asked him to for good reason (and puking everywhere is a damn good reason).

I think sometimes men forget that just because SAHMs don't earn a paycheck it doesn't mean they don't deserve a break. And being pregnant just ups your need for downtime. What's going to happen when the new addition arrives? Is he going to push all that work off on you too because "it's your job"? I would have a serious talk to him before then (actually, ASAP).

kabarbanel · January 2011

Jocelyn0415:
Oh, hell no. If my husband told me "that's your job." we'd have a BIG problem.

This! Hope things get better for you.

twoasone1 · January 2011

I agree with the PP. I am a SAHM too, but that does not mean that DH isn't still DS parent as well. When DH comes home from work and on weekends, DS is both of our responsibilities, not just mine.

I hope you can get through to him again. That has got to be so hard for you, especially since you are pregnant and sick right now. Right Hug

Princess_Lily · January 2011

This helped make everything very clear cut for DH and I.

It is my JOB to take care of our home since I SAH (this includes, laundry, dishes, etc.) The animals are my responsibility because they were my idea, in all fairness.

To be a parent (mother/father) is not a JOB, it is a right and a responsibility to both parents to care for the well being of the child. Due to this, DH and I split the nightly and weekend duties.

mxpxgirl13 · January 2011

I've had to basically teach my DH that staying at home and taking care of DS is 100% hard work, unpaid and often under appreciated-- and it is not one person's 'job' to do it. It takes both people, and no, he is not 'helping' you, he's the father! We live in a 2 story as well, so I know how it is taking DS up and down constantly. It's tiring. And we all need help.. doesn't matter if he's working full-time plus master's (so is my DH), but there is no way in hell that excuse would fly through my house. You need to tell him that!