Parenting after 35

Poor Rom

His dad had a pulmonary embolism.  He's fine, but has to stay in the hospital under observation for a week.  This happened yesterday.  Today, we just got a call that his grandmother died today, his father's mother and the last of his grandparents.

He is holding up, but he's so sad.  I need to find a way to get him or all of us back to France, at least for the funeral, but he's afraid to have me travel when I'm pregnant and he doesn't want to leave me.

Poor, sweet Rom. 

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Re: Poor Rom

  • I'm sorry to hear this, Amy.  I hope Rom can get back to France for the funeral and  to see his dad (who I presume is also in France?).
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  • Oh I am so sorry for your family.  Are there medical concerns about you traveling or is Rom being protective?
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  • Oh no!  I hope you can find a way to get him to France for the funeral and to see his dad.  Sending good thoughts your way!
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  • Poor Rom.  fingers crossed that you can get him home.
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  • I think you should all go. You're not that pregnant that you can't fly and you're past the first trimester, which is the tricky one. I think you're all clear for now. Go as a family and I think Rom will be so much happier to have you both with him for support. Not to mention his relatives will be so excited to see Margaux, right? She will bring a little happiness to an otherwise sad event ((hugs)). And I'm happy to see that baby #2 is doing well!
    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
  • I'm so sorry, Amy.
  • I'm sorry about Rom's grandma, but glad his dad is fine.  Honestly I think you should send him alone, there's no way I would fly overseas while pregnant (with a toddler!) especially given your history.  Rom will have his relatives there for moral support.  I skipped a family funeral and sent DH alone when I was pregnant and everyone understood, and that was only in Southern Cal, not Europe!
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  • Amy - Rom is being protective, but to be fair I did go into pre-term labor with Margaux and we don't know a lot of people here, and I don't drive... So he's got his reasons.  

    We'll discuss it more, I'm sure.  I think at LEAST he should go, and maybe I can get my doctor to soothe Rom enough that M and I would go too.  I do have one friend in Petaluma, I could get him to promise Rom he'd come running if I call. 

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  • I'm sorry to hear about Rom's Grandmother. I am glad his dad is OK.
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  • So sorry, sounds like your having a rough week. T&P for you and your family.
  • Amy,

    First off, let me say how sorry I am, that's super tough, two sad events in two days....

    Second, let me tell you that it is possible for you to go to France, IF your doc says it's ok to go and only IF you feel ok to go.  I'm definitely not condoning going by any means, because, well you are pregnant and it's a distant place to be God forbid anything happens.  But if you do go, please promise us that you will have the name of an OB in France that you can go to if you feel the need to.  I went to France to see my family (knowing it would be my last time for a LONG time) when I was 4 months prego with the boys.  I did ask my OB, who was not thrilled about it at the time, but felt better after I promised him that I would relax over there and have all the important phone numbers of OB's and such (my GF had just had a baby and gave me all her docs #'s).  The flight going was relatively easy, my parents helped me a lot with Nicholas (DH didn't come with us).  But it was the flight back (4 weeks later and alone) that was much tougher on me.  Granted you're not staying 4 weeks - or are you?  :o)

    The flight attendants and crew were SUPER nice (you do get a lot more with honey than vinegar) and kept my SUPER huge stroller inside the plane for the flight back so I could plop N in it the second I got off the plane and not have to carry him the 100 miles or so to the luggage carousel.  Also, in Paris, the ticket counter lady noticed how big I was (and noticed my middle seat in the middle of the plane) and gave me and N a whole row upstairs for no additional charge. SCORE!

    I'm just sayin', if you wanna go, go and be with your family, just be sure to relax and stick your feet up while you're there eatin' those oh so delicious baguettes!  Wink  (so jealous)

    ETA - IF you do go, you'll want to get a seat with a basinette, it was SO helpful and N loved it.  It was like his little personal seat and I didn't have to hold him on my lap the entire flight, not that I could anyways with my big belly!  LOL

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  • OMG this is all so awful. I'm so sorry!!! Wow, I'm so sorry. :(
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  • I'm so sorry.  Tricky planning, but you'll figure something out!  And Bea does bring up the happy thought of french bagettes!
  • I am so sorry to hear this - T & Ps to your entire family.  And what a dilemna - I'd say he really needs to go.  It would be nice if you all could go, but I bet the family would understand.  Sending peaceful thoughts your way while you make this decision.
  • That's so hard. Thinking of you and your family.
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  • That's sad - I am so sorry! Glad his dad is ok.
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